Daveportivo's Cultural Evaluation Facility

Music, Politics, Flim, Books and TV all shall be reviewed within.

So we're back again with the second official Cultural Evaluation Spotify Playlist. Now the Reading Festival line up was announced this week and two celebrate I'll produce three playlists showcasing the best of what's on offer each day.


Now I've decided to focus on the tracks that are bound to turn the festival field into a pogoing war zone, so expect a lot of singles. This should be a lot of fun, I'll get back to a more crafty playlist next week, this week is allow about thrills and flow, and hopefully this playlist will do both.

So here it is The Cultural Evaluation Facilities Reading Friday Playlist:

  1. "Welcome To The Jungle" - Guns And Roses (Taken from Appetite For Destruction)
  2. "3's and 7's" - Queens Of The Stone Age (Taken from Era Vulgaris)
  3. "You Could Be Mine" - Guns And Roses (Taken from Use Your Illusions II)
  4. "That Golden Rule" - Biffy Clyro (Taken from Only Revolutions)
  5. "Last Train Home" - Lostprophets (Taken from Start Something)
  6. "Red Flag" - Billy Talent (Taken from Billy Talent II)
  7. "You're Wrong" - NOFX (Taken from They've Actually Gotten Worse Live)
  8. "Mr. Brownstone" - Guns And Roses (Taken from Appetite For Destruction)
  9. "The Lost Art Of Keeping A Secret" - Queens Of The Stone Age (Taken From Rated R)
  10. "Dominos" - The Big Pink (Taken from A Brief History Of Love)
  11. "North American Scum" - LCD Soundsystem (Taken from Sound O Silver)
  12. "I Can Talk" - Two Door Cinema Club (Taken from Tourist History)
  13. "Velvet" - The Big Pink (Taken from A Brief History Of Love)
  14. "Germs" - Yeasayer (Taken from All Hour Cymbals)
  15. "All My Friends" - LCD Soundsystem (Taken from Sound O Silver)
  16. "Machines" - Biffy Clyro (Taken from Puzzle)
  17. "Don't Cry (Original)" - Guns And Roses (Taken from Use Your Illusion I)
  18. No One Knows - Queens Of The Stone Age (Taken from Songs For The Deaf)
  19. "Who's Got A Match?" - Biffy Clyro (Taken from Puzzle)
  20. "Sick, Sick, Sick" - Queens Of The Stonage (Taken from Era Vulgaris)
  21. "Shackler's Revenge" - Guns And Roses (Taken from Chinese Democracy)
  22. "Fallen Leaves" - Billy Talent (Taken from Billy Talent II)
  23. "Go With The Flow" - Queens Of The Stone Age (Taken from Songs For The Deaf)
  24. "Paradise City" - Guns And Roses (Taken from Appetite For Destruction)



ShowMiz defeat R-Truth & Morrison in 3:22 to retain the WWE Tag Team Titles.

Wow these guys came out on fire, the early near falls and big spots gaurenteed a short match, but on an overly stacked card it's impossible to complain. You'll be hard pressed to see a better three minutes of coherent wrestling than this. Of course the finish couldn't help but feel anti-climatic. (*1/2)

Randy Orton defeats Cody Rhodes & Ted Dibiase in 9:00.

Really satisfying match. This wasn't a classic or a stand out but if your into the characters and you like Randy Orton this was a strong showcase match. Orton hit his spots sublimely and the crowd were hugely into him, especially the tremendous double DDT spot. Kudos to all three guys, they may not be flashy but their selling was top notch and they told a compelling and dramatic story. Above expectations with a great finish, thoroughly satisfying. (**1/2)

Jack Swagger wins The Money In The Bank Ladder Match in 14:00.

There was some great spots, some nice athleticism and a subtle star making performance from Drew McIntyre (check out his selling throughout this match). Now that being said, ten men was a huge mistake, it had a battle royal feel, it was far too crowded. The match was never allowed to tell a story, and with the exception of Kofi's stilts spot nothing really sank in as a memorable moment. What they gained in non-stop action, they lost in contrived over-crowded sloppiness. Kudos to Evan Bourne though for a gorgeous shooting star press (bumping the rating up a 1/4* alone) . (**3/4)

Triple H defeats Sheamus in 12:00.

Kudos to both men. The first half of the match was methodical but very well wrestled and psychology build nicely throughout. The final exchanges were top notch stuff, with great counters, brilliant facial expressions and some good hard hitting action. Triple H won the match but made Sheamus look like a legitimate main eventer and proved he belonged in a classic WWE style main event. Had this been a title match it would have disappointed but in it's slot it actually over delivered and may have surprised those who we're down on Triple H after last years main Event. (***)

Rey Mysterio defeated CM Punk in 7:00 to remain a free man.

If the ShowMiz match was a clinic in how to put on a perfect three minute match, Rey and Punk showed everyone how to create the perfect seven minute match. This was a gorgeous match, it had everything; the psychology was 100% spot on, there were some incredible highspots, great counters and most of all a brilliant use of the Straight Edge Society. Rey's dramatic struggle to overcome the odds culimating in sending Gallows flying off the apron was the perfect feel good moment and this match brought the crowd into the event big time. Following a superb feud with Chris Jericho last year, all the signs suggest that if this Punk programme continues Rey could be back in MVP contention for the first time in a decade. Literally half of a five star match. (**1/2)

Bret Hart defeated Vince McMahon in 11:00.

Holy stinker Batman. Wow, It's hard to put this match into words. The show had been rolling along so beautifully, the crowd was hot, the matches were short, but we all knew that so many great matches were just around the corner and then this happened. The tone was all wrong. The "double-double cross" was ridiculous contrived and poorly explained. Why would Vince not just use Koslov and Jackson? Why risk it? Ego I suppose. This match was poorly judged, eleven minutes of Bret awkwardly and brutally beating Vince down just felt wrong. They actually made Vince sympathetic to the point where the crowd felt uncomfortable cheering for Vince. This match could have been so simple, Vince cuts a promo, Bret beats Vince down in three minutes and Vince submits to the sharpshooter, the crowd get their moment and Bret gets his big moment to celebrate. This match left the crowd cold and it would take them a fair while to warm up again. (DUD)

Chris Jericho defeated Edge in 15:48 to retain the WWE World Heavyweight Title.

This match will probably be the biggest disappointment to most fans, especially considering they were given the second longest slot on the show. The match was in no way bad, it was simple a solid main event style match. Perhaps the match's biggest weakness was a dead crowd. Vince and Bret had killed this crowd dead, and it is a credit to Edge and Jericho that by the ten minute mark they'd won them back, with some nice counter wrestling and a very cool use of the spear storyline. Jericho out shone Edge, who looks uncomfortable playing the face role. Another key flaw in the match is that much like the Flair-Henning matches from '97 both men have similar strengths and rather than complimenting each other, they cancel each other out. I'm sure they'll improve next month, this was a fine first in ring chapter. The post match spear through the security wall seemed to erase any disappointment in most fans eyes. (**3/4)

Vickie Guerrero, Michelle McCool, Layla, Alicia Fox & Maryse defeated Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres, Gail Kim & Beth Phenoix in 3:05.

The cruelly named "Hog Splash" was quite the site, but this match was an unnecessary match, I hope you enjoyed your bathroom break. (n/a)

John Cena defeated Batista to capture the WWE World Title in 13:30.

This had to be my surprise of the night, I was expecting solid and satisfying but I got clunky and thrilling. This match was rough around the edges in a large part thanks to Batista's awkwardness, but John Cena was absolutely on fire giving 110%. He carried the energy in this match and both men told an incredibly dramatic and brutal story. Both men crushed each other with hard hitting action, it didn't look smooth but it actually looked like two guys struggling to beat each other down. Batista may have been awkward but he played his character to a tee and his shocked reaction to the top rope spinebuster counter will be replayed in video packages all year long. John Cena, however, deserves every bit of the praise, his Attitude Adjuster on Batista was mammoth, and that was a dead lift, a truly incredible moment. The clean tap out was the perfect finish, to the definitive John Cena era WWE main event style match, would love to see a rematch. Oh and it must be noted, this was the best match of Michael Cole's announcing career. (***3/4)

The Undertaker defeats Shawn Michaels in 24:00 to end the career of HBK.

Well they did it. They lived up to last years encounter? Did they surpass it? Who knows. Athletically last yeas match was better, but the drama, the story telling, the crowd heat and the selling were on a whole new level in this one. The match started red hot before Taker "tweaked" his knee, now while some may not have cared for this section it was top notch wrestling psychology. If you look how Undertaker sold the hip it truly was perfection. Taker made it like he'd blown a hip, and the crowd gasped and seem genuinely petrified that the rematch may be off. They even deployed stalling spots superbly to sell the injury and trick the audience. From then on in the match told a different story, HBK isolated the leg with figure fours and ankle lock counters, and throughout the whole match it looked like they were in a fight, Taker never "just" took it. Once the match kicked into top gear it never looked back and the Moonsault onto the knee (talk about 100% perfect execution) was an unforgettable image. Kudos to Jerry Lawler for making the save and pointing that out, as many in the audience, notably Michael Cole, seemed to miss it (and again, an amazing sell from Taker). The final few minutes were mind blowing, and the finish with Shawn Michaels refusing to back down and delivering the bitch slap heard round the world was perfect. I only wish this match could have gone another ten minutes. It's impossible to rate, as a contest last year's effort was superior, but the drama this year was off the scale and the post match was another beautiful moment that only WWE and only Wrestlemania can deliver. A timeless moment, another classic, my only complaint; there will be no rubber match. (I've bumped my star rating up a 1/4* having re-seen the post match atmosphere, an allowing a genuinely classy moment sink in, Like Flair-Michaels this match made me feel proud to be a wrestling fan, and you can't say that very often). (****3/4).

Overall Thoughs: A Satisfying show, every match except Bret-Vince really delivered. It wasn't wall to wall four star matches, but in each and every match (except Edge-Jericho) you felt you got the 100% best efforts of everyone involved. Importantly the under card felt weighty, every match had purpose and kept the crowds interest. The two main events carried the show to Wrestlemania level. If you paid for this show, you certainly got your money's worth, a satisfying four hours of wrestling with only Vince and Bret leaving a bad taste in the viewers mouths; but most importantly Wrestlemania left us with another timeless moment.

Most of all though this Wrestlemania was a lesson to TNA. This show was paced perfectly, matches were scaled back so that they entertained and satisfied and built perfectly to the two main events. This show was about two matches, but one (HBK-Taker) more than all the rest and this show was perfectly built to showcase that classic match, and made sure the crowd were in enjoying themselves but not burned out by the time the big match came around. I hope TNA were paying attention, they burn out the crowd every PPV, normally a full hour before the main event, tonight WWE put the focus where it needed to be, and it duly gae us another historic moment and a tearful goodbye.(7.5)

"Drunk Girls" - LCD Soundsystem


When James Murphy dropped a little album by the name of Sound Of Silver in 2007 he achieved more fame and mainstream attention than anyone could have possibly anticipated. Perhaps more shockingly despite being a critical darling for years, no one really expected Mr. Murphy to create a truly transcendent album but that's exactly what he did with 2007's Sound Of Silver. The king of the New York avante guard music scene, James Murphy was always a trend setter, but there was a perception that he was too cool and too niche to make a universal touching and brilliant album, but remarkably he managed it. His last LP struck the perfect balance; it had all the slick beats, stylish posturing and all the coolest references but also managed to feel remarkably heartfelt. "All My Friends" and "New York I Love You But Your Bringing Me Down" gave Sound Of Silver the feeling of a mid life crisis LP, and as a result it was genuine emotive and more effecting than ironic. Therefore the expectation for LCD Soundsystem's full lenght follow up are sky high, especially after the success of the "45:33" extended play. Everyone is expecting LCD's follow up to sound great but will it be able to resonate emotionally in the way that Sound Of Silver did.

"Drunk Girls" unfortunately tells us little of the forthcoming LP, as it's the standard club banger we've come to expect from an LCD Soundsystem debut single. It feels spiritually tied to "North American Scum" with it's rumbling percussion, floaty segways and hand claps. The track also uses a call and repeat dynamic throughout with shouts of "Drunk Girls...Drunk Boys" it's all very catchy and the beat is surprisingly subversive, it doesn't leap out at you but it does slowly embedded itself in your consciousness. The real obvious nods musically go to Brian Wilson with some surf-rock flourishes and classic Beach Boys refrains and following in the mould of Sound Of Silver David Bowie appears to be a key influences with classic Heroes era Bowie guitar work dominating the track. So while "Drunk Girls" may not offer too many glimpses into the future of LCD it certainly shows James Murphy on absolute top form, as he fires off a seriously of wonderfully knowing and ironic one liners. This is a track made for people to shout out loud on a dance floor with punch lines coming thick and fast. Everyone will have their favourites but two lines stuck out in my mind as particularly brilliant were "Drunk Girls Are Abhorrently Wild" and "Sometimes Loves Gives Us Too Many Options, Just Because Your Hungry Doesn't Mean That Your Lean". "Drunk Girls" is an absolute riot and seems to be LCD's best hope since "North American Scum" to make a splash on the pop charts. It may not be LCD's most subtly work but it's without doubt one of their most addictive.

20. Brock Lesnar arrives at Wrestlemania (Wrestlemania XIX)


Wrestlemania XIX was the moment when Brock Lesnar truly cemented himself as the next great wrestling superstar. Even though he originally won the title from The Rock at Summerslam, it was his victory over Kurt Angle at Wrestlemania XIX that felt like the beginning of a new era for WWE. The first major talent of post attitude era to emerge as a new top babyface. Looking back now the moment has even more resonance, as Lesnar has since become the UFC Heavyweight Champion and an even bigger superstar, this feels like a lost age of WWE. To make matters even more memorable Brock not only wrestled a classic main Event with Kurt Angle there was the famous botched shooting star press and one of the most jaw dropping and terrifying moments in wrestling history.

19. Hulk Hogan and Mr. McMahon Face Off (Wrestlemania XIX)

A decade after Hulk Hogan gave evidence against Mr. McMahon in the steroids trial, and after going to WCW and nearly putting Vince out of business, Hogan not only made his improbable return to WWE but had his iconic show down at Wrestlemania. Credit to Vince McMahon and Hulk Hogan they know how to use the bag of tricks and pulled at a remarkable fun match that held peoples attention remarkably well. Of course this match was never about Work Rate it was always going to be about iconic images and feel good moments. Of course the stare down for the ages has been sketched into all wrestling fans collective memories.


18. Ric Flair and Randy Savage steal the show (Wrestlemania VIII)

This was one of the dream matches wrestling fans had been waiting for over a decade. Ric Flair had established himself as the greatest wrestler of all time and without doubt the greatest wrestle of the 1980s. Randy Savage has been the leading light for WWE in a decade where in ring wrestling was downplayed in favour of cartoony characters. Behind the Hogan and Sid show down this should have been main event was shuffled down the card but this was one hell of a match, especially in the context of 1992 WWE. Flair clearly wasn't happy with Savage's overly pre-planned match style but this match comfortable blew every other match on the card out of the water and for the final seven minutes they had the crowd in the palms of their hands. After the match Ric Flair stole the show completely with one of the all time great money promos that had fans begging for a rematch. WCW would take this match and use it to spur on one of the most successful house show runs in their history.

17. Shawn Michaels takes on Kurt Angle (Wrestlemania XXI)

Wrestlemania 21 saw the greatest wrestler of the 90s go head to head with Kurt Angle the heir to throne of the greatest wrestler in the world. One problem Shawn Michaels wasn't going to be over shadowed by anyone. Looking back this seems like the moment when Shawn Michaels reasserted himself as the greatest wrestler in world. The match started slow but built and built into an an all time classic, with the final few minutes and Shawn's eventual submission being one of the most dramatic and captivating moments in Wrestlemania history.

16. The Rock and Stone Cold end an era (Wrestlemania XIX)

The Rock and Austin faced off three times at Wrestlemania in three classic matches, and their final was a dozee. Stone Cold was broken down and shouldn't have been in the ring but he wanted to go out with a bang and he tore down the house with the Rock. Finishes glory, ridiculous kick outs, oversells, all the things wrestlers shouldn't do but they had to do because this feud had been so epic it deserved an OTT feel good send off. The fans seemed unhappy that The Rock finally got his victory over Austin but the three Rock Bottom finished made for a cool visual, to end an iconic feud, and put the Attitude Era to bed once and for all.

15. Shawn Michaels boy hood dream comes true (Wrestlemania XII)

So was the Iron Man match the most overrated match in history? Yes it almost certainly is, but still a damn good match, and the overtime finish made the match. The visuals were superb, Bret and Shawn squaring off just looked legendary and most importantly Shawn's tearful celebration created one of the legendary visuals. This was the moment when the little guy and the best worker in the business proved he could make it to the top of the WWE paving the way for two generations of under sized talent.

14. The McMahon Family Implodes (Wrestlemania XVII)

The biggest soap opera in professional wrestling came to ahead at Wrestlemania 17 as Shane McMahon took on Vince McMahon in a street fight. The match was a legendary smoke and mirrors spot fest, with all the stops being pulled out to ensure a classic encounter. Shane hit the van-Shaninator and Linda rose from her wheel chair to kick Vince in the grapefruits what more could you possibly ask for?

13. Mr. WCW goes head to head with Mr. WWE (Wrestlemania XVIII)

At Wrestlemania 19 Ric Flair made his improbable return to the WWE after a decade the man who represented everything good and everything great about WCW went one on one with the iconic figure who had come to define both the WWE and Wrestlemania: The Undertaker. There were a couple of shaky moments and Ric was still recovering from self confidence issues but both men went out there and showed and a whole new generation of wrestling fans why he is the greatest of all time.

12. Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit win Gold and shed tears (Wrestlemania XX)

At Madison Square garden the home of the WWE, the mecca of sports entertainment, at Wrestlemania's twentieth anniversary, the two men dubbed "vanilla midgets" by Kevin Nash stood tall holding both the WWE World and World Heavyweight titles. No one thought they'd see the day, but two of the best workers in the business finally made it to the top. Eddie beat Kurt Angle in a strong match and Chris Benoit claimed the world title in the greatest Wrestlemania main event match of all time, a awe inspiring triple threat match. The ticker tape then reigned and Eddie and Benoit embraced, a perfect moment. It just seems so tragic now.

11. Hulk Hogan slams Andre The Giant (Wrestlemania III)

At Shea Stadium, in the most iconic visual in wrestling history, in the biggest super match of all time Hogan and Andre went toe to toe and Hogan hit the body slam heard round the world. Was it a great match? Of course not, was it a perfect moment? Hell Yes. This is the greatest wrestlemania moment of all time, without doubt, but it's not my greatest Wrestlemania moment.

(apologise the picture uploader is down, I will re-up later)


Oh yes it's that time of year, and I'm pretty excited, so to help us all get ready I've composed a list of the top 30 Wrestlemania moments. Now this years mania's card is absolutely stacked from top to bottom and has the potential to spawn multiple unforgettable moments, so by the end of the week this list could have changed beyond belief. But to get us all in the mood here's my list of the top thirty Wrestlemania moments (I'll also be running a parallel worst Wrestlemania moments article).


30. The Dragons Still Got It (Wrestlemania XXV)

Some classic Mania moments don't come from the best shows, and aren't necessarily from the greatest matches; they just have to feel special, and that was certainly the case at Wrestlemania 25. No one will be talking about the classic Steamboat, Piper & Snuka vs. Jericho match, because lets face it, it wasn't a great in ring spectacle. Piper looked terrible, Snuka looked worse, but when Ricky Steamboat got in the ring something special happened. The match became a hell of a lot of fun. Ricky was slower but he definitely still had it, running through all his signature spots including flying off the top rope with both his trademark chop and his flying cross body. The crowd absolutely ate it up chanting "You've Still Got It" and everyone involved seemed genuinely moved. On top of all that we also got to see Ric Flair and Rick Steamboat side by side one last time, in an unforgettable nostalgic moment.

29. Triple H turns Heel (Wrestlemania XV)

DX had taken over from the n.W.o as the hottest stable in wrestling in 1998 and by 1999 they'd become part of the fabric of RAW. So it came as a massive shock to many when Triple H and Chyna ran in, seemingly coming to X-Pac's rescue against Shane McMahon only to turn on their little buddy and join the Corporation. This was the first of many attempts to elevated Triple H, it didn't succeed this time around, but it did produce a memorable moment.

28. LT defeats Bam Bam Bigalow (Wrestlemania XI)

Wrestlemania eleven saw the return of the big showbiz cross over as Wrestlemania attempted to re-establish itself as pop culture icon. Pamela Anderson and Jenna McCarthy accompanied Shawn Michaels to ringside for the title match, but the unforgettable moment came when NFL legend Lawerence Taylor squared off with Bam Bam Bigalow. Shockingly Bam Bam carried the NFL star to a serviceable match and helped turn a could be disaster into a classic moment.

27. Brother vs. Brother (Wrestlemania XIV)

Following WCW's lead with Sting and n.W.o, all through 1997 WWE ran an incredibly disciplined program where Undertaker refused to face his brother Kane. After months of being beaten down by his unstoppable brother Undertaker finally broke his vow when Kane locked Undertaker in a casket and set it on fire. Undertaker then rose from the dead (I'm not joking) walked through fire and challenged his brother to a showdown at Wrestlemania XIV. Now those in the know expected a stinker, but among casual fans the hype was through the roof and people still talk about this match fondly. The stare down was iconic and the three tombstone finish remains among the best remembered in wrestling history.

26. Edge and Mick Foley turn Wrestlemania Hardcore (Wrestlemania XXII)

Until very recently WWE had always been incredibly disciplined with it's use of gimmick matches. In 2006 the WWE had stayed well away from hardcore action and when they finally let Edge and Mick Foley loose at Wrestlemania 22 the results were unforgettable. The match fell short of a classic but was beyond memorable. The finish that involved Edge spearing Mick Foley through a flaming table was about as Iconic as visuals come.

25. Mr T. goes head to Head with Roddy Piper as MTV takes over (Wrestlemania I)

Wrestlemania 1 wasn't much of an event. It was full of quick forgettable action and was more of a television landmark than a wrestling icon. That being said it did manage to produce a series of iconic moments packaged together under the banner of "rock and wrestling". Cyndi Laupa went head to head with Lou Albano, Alice Cooper and Jake the Snake stood side by side and Mr. T went to war with Roddy Piper and Cowboy Bob Orton. Piper carried many of the early manias with his charisma and enthusiasm and Wrestlemania I was his crowning glory.

24. Money In The Bank Is Born (Wrestlemania XXI)

Back in 2005 the world was treated to the first ever Money In The Bank Ladder match. A truly fantastic concept that has become a great way to elevate talent and create intriguing storylines. While MITB is increasingly becoming Wrestlemania's annual spotfest, it started out with a true classic. In 2005 ladder matches were stale (and they still are with the odd exception) but in this one match WWE showed how innovative and creative their young wrestlers could be while still telling a compelling story. Edge's victory was epic, and Shelton Benjamin running up a side ways stacked ladder to hit a flying closeline was simply unforgettable.

22. The Mega Powers Collide (Wrestlemania V)

The earlier Wrestlemania's were hardly known for their match quality, they're remembered as grand spectacles and great feel good shows, but one man, kept bringing the work rate time and time and time again. That man was Randy Savage. After the disaster of Wrestlemania IV, Randy was back again this time to have the dream match with Hulk Hogan, and even the stilted environment of Trump Plaza couldn't contain this epic encounter. Whatever you say about Hulk Hogan the man knows how to tell as story in the ring and this was one of his finest. Who can forget the moment when Savage hit the flying elbow sucking the life out of the arena only for Hogan to kick out a two and hulk up to victory. Classic match that still holds up outside it's era and another tremendous visual.

21. Randy Savage and Ricky Steamboat steal the show (Wrestlemania III)


As I said in the previous entry, Wrestlemania and work rate were not words that went together in those early years. Matches rarely went beyond five or six minutes and the emphasis was on crazy characters and finishing holds. Yet one match stood out from the crowd Savage vs. Steamboat. Widely regarded as the best match of all time, it was a classic, a great back and forth with good athleticism and both guys selling hard for each other. Now by modern standards this was probably a ***+ affair and would make a good TV main event or solid PPV match but you can't take a match out of it's initial context and to WWE fans unexposed to the NWA this match blew people's minds, and was WWE's stand out match of the 1980s. The fact that people still talk about this match today is testament to it's quality.

American Slang - The Gaslight Anthem


The Gaslight Anthem caught fire in 2008 with the release of The '59 Sound a gorgeous album that managed to rock hard with a heart breaking earthy sincerity. With that album Gaslight Anthem aligned themselves as the heirs to the Jersey song writing crown. Spiritual descendent of Bruce Springsteen they sang the working man's blues like no other; telling tales of drugs, lost loves and great records. After relentlessly touring Gaslight Anthem found themselves on the cusp of greatness, they've become festival stalwarts but they now need to produce a breakthrough record to shatter the glass celling and advance to that next level. However this isn't going to be an easy climb to the top, The '59 Sound is as much a curse as it is a blessing, The Gaslight Anthem are now faced with the near impossible task of living up to and even surpassing an album which already feels like their definitive statement.

"American Slang" the first taste of the album of the same name, suggests that not much has changed in the world of The Gaslight Anthem. Brian Fallons continues to deliver heart breaking couplets, albeit here he seems to focus more on vitriolic sound bytes rather than the densely packed storytelling that comprised the best moments on The '59 Sound. "American Slang" soon feels almost too much like a cookie cut Gaslight Anthem track it has all the trademarks; the powerhouse chorus with it's emphasised punchlines, it has the quiet middle section before exploding for a final heart wrenching the chorus, it has the familiarly catchy chord sequences we've come to expect from Gaslight and of course "American Slang" features the vocal interplay between Fallons gritty yelp and the pleading cries of the backing vocalists. It's all very slick, and it's very well crafted but the formula feels stale. This could easily have been an outcast from The '59 Sound sessions, expect it wouldn't have been quite good enough to make the final cut. "American Slang"s greatest weakness is that it never quite feels sincere, it's simply too generic, and lacks the impact of their earlier work. "American Slang" feels cosy not visceral and not particularly thrilling; and it's this cosy almost lazy feel that undermines the tracks sincerity, and without that heartfelt believability Gaslight Anthem just don't feel special. Now it's not all bad news, "American Slang" is a fine offering, and if it's a indicator of the forth coming LP it seems like we'll be treated to The '59 Sound Part II or dare I say it; The '59 Sound-lite. "American Slang" is good music, but it just can't truly thrill second time around. If Gaslight Anthem want true greatness their going to have to be willing to play around with the song writing formula that has served them so well, otherwise they'll fine themselves like so many other bands stuck in creative stasis, while we all wonder what could have been.

I haven't done any wrestling reviews in a long time and we're just a week away from Wrestlemania so I thought I'd get back in practice with a short review of TNA's Destination X. For those who don't remember Destination X 2009 was one of the worst and most embarrassing PPVs in TNA history, so the 2010 edition couldn't possibly be worse right?...right?


1. Kaz defeats Brian Kendrick, Amazing Red & Daniels in 13 minutes of a Ladder Match to earn an X Division Title Shot.

TNA returns to it's trusted formula of opening the show with a spotfest, and this one was just as interchangeable and forgettable as all the others. There was no attempt to tell a story and there was absolutely no drama, it was just a collection of moves, some we're better than others, and some we're pretty darn exciting, but it ultimately added up to a forgettable hit and miss match where no one got over, and nothing seemed memorable. (**1/4)

2. Tara defeats Daffney in six minutes to retain the TNA Knockouts title.

Good solid Knockout's title match, this feud has been built well and the match was satisfying if mediocre. Daffney makes for a great heel but she's no great shakes in the ring, Tara is a good transitional champion until TNA gets fully behind Angelina Love. The knockout's division remains well booked but with the loss of Kim and Kong it's sorely lacking in work rate. (*3/4)

3. Rob Terry defeats Magnus in just over a minute to retain the Global Title.

Why is Rob Terry being pushed this isn't 1986? Terry offers nothing of interest, Magnus still has potential and will be able to rebuild himself on the microphone. God I hope Rob Terry isn't the first monster to be fed to Hogan, oh sorry, I mean Abyss. (n/a)

4. The Moter City Machine Guns defeat Generation Me in twelve minutes of an Ultimate X Match.

Spotfest number two, this was far smoother and more innovative than the ladder match, but this match was vastly more contrived and felt over choreographed on several occasions. Nonetheless the spots were very cool and very smoothly executed even if at times the match did feel pointless and more like a gymnastic meet than a wrestling match. It's a shame, I know the MCMGs can tell a story in the ring and bring the flashy spots, I would love to see these two have a traditional twenty minute tag match, I guarantee it'd be more epic and mind blowing than this goofy cringe inducing spotfest. Also it would really help if Taz didn't laugh at genuinely dangerous spots. (**3/4)

5. Hall & Waltman defeat Nash & Young in seven minutes to acquire TNA contracts.

Well the most predictable finish of the night. This whole storyline has been an uninteresting mess, so it's no surprise that the blow off match ended with a disorganised and largely irrelevant mess. Most depressingly no one was over in this match, Young was booed, Waltman was booed, and Hall was jeered. Over the last year Nash had done a good job of getting himself over and making himself relevant once more, however this programme has returned him to cringe inducing relic status. The match itself was embarrassing enough but the post match was just horrid. Waltman looking into the camera and saying "where the fuck is it" and "why the fuck you gotta hide it" when looking for the spray can summed up just how much of a mess this program and TNA is in general. Hall has no business being in a wrestling ring at this point. (n/a)

6. Doug Williams defeats Shannon Moore in six minutes to retain the X Division title

So on a PPV where TNA said they'd showcase the X Division they give us two interchangeable spotfests and a Shannon Moore vs. Doug Williams title match, seriously? This is no knock on Doug Williams he's a talented wrestler but he certainly doesn't fit into the X Division aesthetic that TNA have attempted to cultivate. To make matters worse Williams has been booked into oblivion including a thirty second loss to Rob Terry. Moore is still a nobody, a passable wrestler, with friends in all the right places, he peaked in 3 Count and has shown no signs of catching on or improving as an act. The result as a forgettable match between two workers who do not compliment each other stylistically. Doug Williams post match promo was the only saving grace. Remember when this Division was relevant and Samoa Joe was the hottest act in wrestling? Don't worry most people don't either. (3/4*)

7. Matt Morgan & Hernandez defeat Beer Money Inc. in twelve minutes to retain the TNA Tag Team Titles.

Another booking quagmire, so your turning Matt Morgan heel, and you've just turned Beer Money heel too (just barely, you might not have noticed), so you decided to book two poorly defined heel acts against one another. Morgan's heel act almost made Beer Money faces by proxy. It's good that they're breaking up Hernandez and Morgan as they were a horrible combination in the first place (two power guys who don't sell..ugh..it's not the eighties, there not the Road Warriors) but you have to ask why they were teamed together in the first place. The match itself was as convoluted and awkward as the booking itself. Thankfully Morgan is a natural heel and once this whole situation is resolved Morgan and Beer Money both have key roles to play if they can escape from booking purgatory. The match itself was rudimentary, confused and clunky. (*)

8. Kurt Angle defeated Ken Anderson in seventeen minutes.

This was a fine albeit disappointing PPV encounter. Anderson is a great character but a basic and largely pedestrian wrestler and the solid fundamental wrestling story they told would have been fine were this a first encounter or a storyline based around one upsmanship. The problem is the whole Angle-Anderson programme has been a blood feud, based around disrespect and brutal beat downs. Both men wanted to destroy each other, and they wrestled a match where neither man looked like they were trying to hurt the other. There was no intensity, it's as if they were being scored by judges. To make matters worse Ken Anderson didn't care that he lost the match and made this clear with his post match interview immediately defining down wrestling matches and PPV matches unimportant. This felt like an elongated house show match with an overblown finish. Passable but way below expectations. (**) (looks like Kurt he's back on the roids and/or HGH)

9. AJ Styles & Abyss wrestle to a No Contest in seventeen minutes of a TNA World Title Match.

AJ is a terrible fit for the Nature Boy gimmick and this match was the definitive proof. He just doesn't work in this role, it's not his fault, he's simply miscast. Other than being a great wrestler he and flair have little in common, Desmond Wolfe and Beer Money would have been far better choices to follow Flair's lead. AJ looked awkward during the entire match and it really hurt the crowd heat, Abyss is equally struggling against a bad gimmick and two years worth of bad booking. The match itself was good in patches, with some nice sequences and a few memorable moments but it was all undone by a mind numbing conclusion.

Now if you didn't know, the finish involve Flair spraying perfume in the Referee's eyes blinding him, AJ low blowing Abyss and hitting him with the title belt. Then Hogan's music hits and Hogan brings Earl Hebner to the ring and wheels out Chelsea and Flair. AJ then hits a springboard 450 splash and Abyss hulks up, after the regular routine (God Abyss makes you appreciate how good Hogan was at this) Abyss then chokeslams AJ through ring creating a gigantic hole with AJ's legs sticking out and Hogan gives Abyss the title belt, but Earl Hebner takes it away as Flair wheels himself (he's in a wheel chair) down to ringside. Hebner falls over, Abyss falls over, Flair falls over. Hogan sprays perfume in Flair's eyes and Chelsea runs away scared. Desmond Wolfe runs in and is pin balled around the ring before the perfume is sprayed in his eyes and he falls in the hole in the centre of the ring, as does Flair. End of show.

As you've probably gather this was one of the most cringe inducing, mind boggling and plain terrible endings to a PPV in wrestling history. The good work by AJ and Abyss was washed away by a host of cartoon show crap. This company deserves to go out of business. (**)

Overall Thoughts: Quite simply Destination X is one of the worst booked and most painful PPVs I've ever watched. Last years event was horrible, but that was to be expected, this show had potential, and coming into the event there were four matches that could have really delivered, but they didn't. Partly undone by disappointing wrestling, but more so this show was completely weighed down by terrible convoluted ill-thought out booking. It's a shame, as a show I hoped would be forgettable fun was actually torturous to watch. Once again, another TNA PPV and another month where I'm left think "it can't get worse than this, can it"?



A quick in house note: In an effort to keep providing original content for the Cultural Evaluation Facility I shall be running some shorter length reviews, so I have time for all my various projects.


Have One On Me - Joanna Newsom
(Drag City 2010, Joanna Newsom)

Joanna Newsom finds herself in a near impossible position in 2010; she has to top Ys. An album which had granted her more acclaim, more credibility and more commercial acceptance than any harpist could have possibly dreamt of. Not only was Ys remarkably addictive, it was epic in scope, and so defiantly different it couldn't help but take your breath away. Have One On Me is granted no such graces, the world is now familiar with Joanna's brand of baroque pop, and since her debut the likes of Grizzly Bear and more noticeably Fleet Foxes have taken the folk fringe to directly to mainstream. No one will be shocked, no one will be taken by surprise this time around. As a result Joanna has seemingly taken a new approach, gone is the medieval aesthetic and in comes a big dose of sex appeal. Tight clingy dresses, suggestive glances and ironic arty (dare I say scene) photo shoots, have seemingly signalled a change in direction. Along with a new look, comes new confidence as Have One On Me is a triple album. This has all the makings of a make it or break it moment; can Joanna and her harp hold our attention for a full two hours?

Remarkably the answer is yes. Have One On Me is a staggering achievement, displaying both endless creativity and remarkable consistency. The album starts with "Easy" a gorgeous ballad that feels like a statement of intent. A sharp, focused and surprisingly minimalist track that is about as close to a pop single as Joanna will ever get, with it's subversive melodies and it's array of infectious hooks. "Easy" feels more human than anything on Ys, it may lack the widescreen ancient epic feel of her previous work but it's replaced with a feeling of fragility and genuine soul. There is an immense power when Joanna coos "You're My Little Life Giver". The album's title track feels like a hangover from Ys longer and more mythical scope than the rest of the LP, it would almost feel out of place where it not so undeniably brilliant.

Aside from the album's title track Have One On Me has a noticeably stripped down sound. With clear nods to hymnal almost gospel music and a heavy dose of classic fifties and sixties soul. Joanna Newsom at times feels like the unholy offspring of Dusty Springfield and Billie Holiday born into the sixteenth century. It almost seems unthinkable but at times Have One On Me has more in common with Billie's "Strange Fruit" than Ys's "Emily". Next to a newer, more contemporary but no less unique sound, comes a more stripped down approach. The tracks across the three disk's of Have One On Me see the wild orchestral arrangements of Ys toned markedly down. Instead we are treated to low key ballads like "You And Me, Bess" with it's seldom struck harp and gorgeously understated saxophone accompaniment. This is a common theme, rather than huge walls of strings, and giant crescendos, we have subtle piano lines, soft acoustic guitar and sparing used horns. Rather than undermining the power Joanna's trademark sound it instead only draws attention to the power of Newsom's captivating vocal performance. This after all is Joanna's true strength, behind the gimmicks and the wonderful arrangements is a beautiful singing voice and an endlessly creative force who simply refuses to run out of ideas, and is never anything less than fascinating; even when stretched over the course of two hours.

Have One On Me is a remarkable triumph. While it can't match the impact or directness of Ys, Have One On Me shows that Joanna Newsom is a woman for all seasons, a truly irrepressible creative force. Proving that she is a lady of great soul and beautiful voice as well as unmatched eccentricity. The triple album's centrepiece "In California" is the one track that showcases Joanna in all her glory. Across nine minutes Joanna offers beautiful stripped down soul crooning "my heart is as heavy as an oil drum", she shows her flair for epic storytelling with a sprawling narrative, while managing to pack a big orchestral punch and even managing to contrast her emotional fragility with her otherworldly madness as she caws manically towards the tracks conclusion. Have One On Me is like "In California"; it's something new, it shows that Joanna Newsom has truly evolved since Ys but it also manages to showcase everything that has made Miss Newsom such a prodigious and incomparable talent in the first place. Have One On Me like Joanna's own voice, is smoother, more soulful and more emotionally powerfully than ever before. Joanna has successful created an album of great beauty and great soul, which in it's own unique little way may just be the most moving record made since the turn of the millennium. A truly special release from the most talented and fascinating female to hit the music industry since a little lady from Iceland made a big splash in the 1980s. Essentially listening.

I've been wanting to do this for a while now, so I've decided to start posting up a regular playlist of tracks on Spotify for everyone to enjoy. Now I know Spotify isn't available in all countries and a lot of my readership comes from the US and Asai so I'll print the tracklisting incase you'd like to assemble it for yourself.


So without further ado here is this weeks playlist: Cultural Evaluation Facility Playlist 17/03/10

I've tried to included some new or more recent music, but obviously I'm limited to what is available in the spotify back catalogue. I've included a few personal favourites but I've tried to create an evolving mood across the playlist:

1. "I Feel Space" - Lindstrom (single available on itunes)
2. "Seven" - Fever Ray (taken from the Fever Ray LP)
3. "Velvet" - The Big Pink (taken from the A Brief History Of Love LP)
4. "Baby Said" - Hot Chip (taken from the Coming On Strong EP)
5. "Cheryl Tweedy" - Lily Allen (B-side to Smile)
6. "All The King's Men" - Wild Beasts (taken from the Two Dancers LP)
7. "Life Coach" - Fang Island (taken from the Fang Island LP)
8. "I Felt Stupid" - The Drums (single released on Moshi Moshi)
9. "Shady Lane" - Pavement (taken from the Brighten The Corners LP)
10. "Heartbeat" - Annie (taken from the Anniemal LP)
11. "Giving Up The Gun" - Vampire Weekend (taken from the Contra LP)
12. "Speechless" - Lady Gaga (taken from The Fame Monster LP)

Total Running time: 52 minutes

T.I. - I'm Back


2010 sees the return of T.I., granted he hasn't been away that long, but "I'm Back" feels like a vital proclamation. 2008's Paper Trail was by no means a failure but it left many cold. Since this commercial and critical breakthrough with 2006's King, T.I. has set about relentless positioning himself among rap's elite. He's stood on stage alongside genuine scene leaders Lil'Wayne, Jay Z and Kanye West, he's even rubbed shoulders with the creative genius and critical darling M.I.A, but more than anything he's told everyone whose willing to listen that he's the best in the game today. Unfortunately among rap fans and critics alike there has been a severe backlash. By putting himself alongside genius he exposed his mediocrity and became overbearing as a personality. To make matters worse T.I. has spent the last year serving a jail sentence and recorded this track in a half way house. So T.I. is truly back in more ways than one. 2010, therefore a make it or break it year of T.I., "I'm Back" and his forthcoming LP has to make an impact if T.I. ever hopes to shake the "overrated" tag.

Thankfully "I'm Back" delivers in spades. The beat is rather generic, with some vaguely euphoric synths that would have felt dated in 2008 let alone 2010. The production does manage a few thrills with the soaring sci-fi squeals that punctuate the track intermittently, but the beat is hardly relevant. This track is about one man, and one man alone. There are no guest spots, no helpers, Luda isn't on hand to single handedly carry the track, Rihanna isn't supplying an irresistible melody, this is back to basics T.I. He's just spitting rhymes uninterrupted for nearly four minutes. There is genuine ferocity to his voice as he forces each syllable out from behind his southern snarl. Much like Lil'Wayne he allows his own unique cadence create a melody of it's own. T.I. is focused and furious, he wants everyone to know he's back, promising that he will never let us down again. He's even saved up a few choice one liners with; "Strike A Match, Catch A Fire, T.I Add Gas; What's A Molotov Cocktail That Never Break Glass?" being the clear stand out. While T.I. still can't quite reach the pantheon of the elite, "I'm Back" marks a welcome return to form. T.I. is at his best when he's enraged, allowing his passion overflow. "I'm Back" may not be as catchy as "What You Know" but it's just as vital and a welcome relief to all those who cringed and rolled their eyes through "Whatever You Like".

Again another review for 411mania, I actually reviewed this album last week, sorry for the lag.



Feel free to comment on the site, most of the feedback has been positive.

1986: When you talk about great years in metal and heavy rock history 1986 is about as good as it gets with two of the greatest albums in music history (let alone metal) being released. Metallica released the contemporary consensus choice for the greatest metal album of all time in Master Of Puppets and Slayer gave the world the bloodiest and most brutal beat down it could ever have hoped for with Reign In Blood. Of course I promised that I wouldn't retread ground I've already trod so those two classics while deserving of mention won't be entering my metal time line (if you want to read my thoughts on those album's look at their entry in the Greatest Album's of the Eighties list).


So behind two genre defining releases it seemed that everything else in 1986 was doomed to be completely overshadowed. Well oddly enough Kerrang magazine overlooked both Master Of Puppets and Reign In Blood in favour of the then overrated and now underrated Eat 'Em And Smile by David Lee Roth. Elsewhere the biggest commercial release in hard rock came from Bon Jovi with their career high point (I know that sounds like a contradiction in terms) Slippery When Wet. Yet my choice for the 1986 entry comes from another legend of the bay area thrash scene, after all 1986 was year of Thrash, the year that Hair Metal was forced to play second fiddle to something harder and more brutal.

Peace Sells...But Who's Buying? - Megadeth
(Combat 1986, Dave Mustaine)

You almost feel bad for Megadeth and Dave Mustaine, sure they've had success, but they've deserved so much more. Mustaine is a riff machine, an iconic front man and a hell of a song writer but he blew his chance with Metallica after the lightening bolt opening statement Kill 'Em All, and in the year when his own project Megadeth truly hit form with Peace Sells...But Who's Buying not only did Metallica return with arguably the greatest heavy metal album of all time but fellow Thrashers Slayer leap frogged them in the pecking order with Reign In Blood. You have to wonder where Megadeth would rank in the metal pantheon had this album been released just a year earlier or even a year later, in hindsight 1987 could have been the year of Anthrax and Megadeth following the year of Slayer and Metallica, but this was not to be.

While Peace Sells... may be the weakest of the classic Thrash albums it can't help but feel like the most urgent. While Reign In Blood beat the shit out of you and Master Of Puppets made your jaw drop, Peace Sells... got you all riled up. It feels like a punk classic, full of rage and political disgust. The tone is set by the album title and the iconic art work which sees the United Nations building destroyed by a nuclear holocaust. The album features similar themes of destruction with hell absorbing the earth, while this may all seem occult, it's all framed around ideas of political frustration and a sense of disgust for the way human beings were treating one another. When set against the back ground of the Greed Is Good culture of the UK, the Reganomics of the US and the wider context of the Cold War; Peace Sells... feels even more vital and actually feels like a historical artefact. Musically Megadeth are on fire with some seriously frantic fretwork that can't help but wow on the relentless "Good Morning/Black Friday" and album closer "My Last Words". Peace Sells... only real weakness is it's lack of clear hooks, while Mustaine raves like the hellish offspring of Axl Rose and James Hetfield (ironically two acts he inspired) he can't seem manage to write the kind of big choruses synonymous with those two hard rock legends. Which is a shame as when Mustaine does stumble across a half way decent hook the results are nothing short of genius, as seen on "Wake The Dead" and of course "Peace Sells". However this is a minor quibble on one of the defining thrash albums, and after all who needs catchy hooks when you've got this many face melting solos. By the time your done with Peace Sells... your fingers will be begging for mercy after fifty five minutes of non-stop air guitar action.

The Metal Timeline:

1970: Paranoid - Black Sabbath
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1972: Machine Head - Deep Purple
???
???
1982: The Number Of The Beast - Iron Maiden
???
???
1986: Peace Sells...But Who's Buying - Megadeth
???
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1998: System Of A Down - System Of A Down
???
???
2004: Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge - My Chemical Romance
???
???

1970: Ah the earliest beginnings. The first entry chronologically in the Timeline. While there was some heavy music being made in the sixties by pioneers like Led Zeppelin, make no mistake, it was the 1970s when Heavy Metal truly came into existence with three landmark releases from three undeniably legendary acts.


However it's worth pointing out there was more to 1970 than just Zeppelin and Sabbath, the birth of a new decade also saw the birth of three of heavy music's great superstars Aerosmith, Judas Priest and Queen. While those bands were just forming, over in America they were proving that metal wasn't purely a British phenomena as Guess Who released their well remembered American Woman LP and Alice Cooper continued to find himself on Easy Action. Yet despite these notable releases this year belonged to three albums; Led Zeppelin's III, Black Sabbath's self titled debut and of course the album I have chosen to represent 1970 in the time line:

Paranoid - Black Sabbath
(Vertigo 1970, Rodger Bain)

While there is certainly some debate as to whether Paranoid or Black Sabbath's self titled debut album was the true landmark in metal history, there is no doubting that when it comes to heavy metal and changing the shape of music history Black Sabbath and Paranoid are as big and important as it gets. Coming just seven months after their game changing debut Paranoid truly turned the world on it's head. Not just because it was bigger, better and more focused than their iconic debut but because Paranoid was a commercial triumph. This was the moment when the dark gloomy bleak and terrifying world of metal music invaded the mainstream. Sure Zeppelin were heavy, but they were dark, they weren't oppressive, they didn't feel like an other worldly cult; whereas Black Sabbath of course did. "Paranoid" the albums lead staggeringly reached number four in the UK singles chart (forty years on and metallers can only dream of that sort of achievement) and even more miraculously they just about made the US single chart with absolutely no exposure and no radio play. This was unthinkable, it was nearly inexplicable, but it happened, finally metal had arrived.

To think of Paranoid as just a commercial statement of intent sells this album tragically short, it was so much more than that. It was a hit laden monster; on top of "Paranoid", Sabbath gave us a riff second only to "Smoke On The Water" in it's recognizability in the form of the monstrous "Iron Man", and of course then their was "War Pigs". A track so OTT, and so preposterous it should never have worked, it's guitar work is rudimentary, it's theatrics are ludicrious and Ozzy's lyrics are frankly ridiculous, but no one cared because it rocked hard, it sounded gorgeous and it was just too much fun. Sometimes the best way to tackle a board theme is with bludgeoning simplicity and that's what "War Pigs" achieved. Aside from the obvious hits Paranoid was an album that sounded delicious, "Planet Caravan" was the perfect cultish groove-athon to tee up the imposing "Iron Man". "Electric Funeral" simply sounded monstrous, with it's apocalyptic riffing and Ozzy playing the role of the demented preacher warning us all of the world's impending doom. "Hand Of Doom" took the quiet-loud blues rawk dynamic and stretched it the nth while combining it with a creepy down tuned bassline that set the template for forty years of metal expansion. The whole experience is wrapped up perfectly by "Faires Wear Boots" a six minute odyssey that sums up everything that made Sabbath special, it was big, it was overblown, it was ludicrous; but it was loud, groovy and satisfying as hell. It's all these crazy elements and all these obvious weaknesses that should create an unlistenable mess but instead came together to make one of the most thrilling and satisfying albums of all time. Is it the greatest metal album of all time? Who knows, but it'd damn good, and hellishly loud and sometimes that's all you need.

The Metal Time Line:

1970. Paranoid - Black Sabbath
???
1972. Machine Head - Deep Purple
???
???
1982. The Number Of The Beast - Iron Maiden
???
???
1998. System Of A Down - System Of A Down
???
???
2004. Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge - My Chemical Romance
???
???

2004: By the mid 2000s Metal and heavier music in general was still trying to find itself. Nu-Metal had come and was nearly gone, but the question of what was to come next still loomed large, and the answers were hardly forth coming. The next wave of metal was either too hard, too genre specific or too damn retrospective to launch a new metal revolution. In fact it seemed that the next big things in metal were coming from less traditional sources.


2004 saw Slipknot cast of their Nu-Metal past with the ambitious statement of intent Vol III: The Subliminal Verse, Mastodon set their stall out with the brutal and brilliant Leviathon (two albums I've discussed previously). Elsewhere Dave Grohl reaffirmed his hard rock credentials with Probot and Velvet Revolver did there best to destroy the legacy of Guns and Roses with the turgid and the criminally overrated (at the time) Contraband. However when it came to heavier music the real noise was being made by the post-hardcore acts with Lostprophets achieving commercial dominance with Start Something, and this years entry spear heading the genre which would dominate the headlines and magazine front pages for the next three years.

So you guessed it right? Well if you didn't there's a fair chance you won't be happy:

Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge - My Chemical Romance
(Reprise 2004, Howard Benson)

I'm sure a vast majority of over grown teenagers are outraged by my selection of Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge but if you really can't see past genres you need to grow up and open your mind. That said Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge is one of the weakest albums on the countdown, and not one of my favourites, I prefer the sublimely ridiculous Black Parade with it's OTT theatrics and sheer ballsiness. Yet when telling the story of the 21st century heavy rock scene it's impossible to ignore this album, as it encapsulated emo's moment in the sun. This was the moment when the emotional charged post-hardcore sound struck a chord with a million agnsty teens. The scene leaders would soon evolve and expand their sound, but this was as relevant as pure screaming hardcore music would ever get. In 2004 you either loved MCR and emo or you hated it, and lets not pretend, whatever side of the fence you were on (and I was a hater back then) it was a hell of a lot of fun. It sparked endless debates, it drove people wild, and it galvanised a generations of fans who had very little to be passionate about. Metal in the 21st Century has sorely lacked heroes and in MCR and Gerard Way hard rock was given the biggest Hero and biggest Villain it could have possibly hoped for.

Musically Three Cheers For Revenge was an absolute riot, a non stop assualt of screaming, thrashing and menical laughter. The album was deeply flawed, it was so painfully one dimensional it hurt, but back then MCR weren't worried about that they just wanted to rock as hard as they could, as loud as they could, and as fast as they could, with as much emotion as they could possibly muster. While Three Cheers... desperately needed to change gears, and show off the dramatic flair and theatrical frivolity that made The Black Parade so indispensable, it more than got the job done. "Give Them Hell, Kid" and "Thank You For The Venom" were unstoppable hardcore riots, "You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison" showed MCR's potential with it's over the top story telling and it's unabashed pomposity, and of course"I'm Not Okay (I Promise)" was the anthem that the scene needed and the world demanded. Whether you ridiculed it or scream it at the top of your lungs, you couldn't avoid it. With "Helena" MCR showed they had true stadium potential and while "Ghost Of You" highlighted their weakness and core sloppiness. Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge could be loved and hated in equal measure, but more importantly it was visceral and thrilling when the rest of the hard rock world was anything but.

The Metal Time Line (so far):

???
???
1972: Machine Head - Deep Purple
???
???
1982: The Number Of The Beast - Iron Maiden
???
???
1998: System Of A Down - System Of A Down
???
???
2004: Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge - My Chemical Romance
???
???

1972: The early seventies were a great time for metal, hell it's when the whole genre truly came into existence and all those trademarks that would make heavy metal music so beloved were first conceived. 70 and 71 were mind blowing years for Metal fans but 1972 was just as thrilling. The releases might not be quite so famous but they were equally important and influencial.


Most importantly 1972 saw the arrival of the third album of what is regarded by metal and heavy rock history as the holy trinity. With that statement I've given the game away, but I want to spread the love around. 1972 saw the debut of Blue Oyster Cult with their self titled debut, upping the technical anti and giving the world an enduring anthem in "Cities A Flame With Rock And Roll". Sabbath returned with Vol. IV and brought one hell of a ballad with them in the form of "Changes". Alice Cooper continued to invent all the hallmarks of the Shock Rock genre with the iconic School's Out, while Hawkwind and Thin Lizzy offered up a pair of passable offerings.

But all of this great rock music played second fiddle to one album:

Machine Head - Deep Purple
(EMI 1972, Deep Purple)

Among die hards debate still rages as to which is the greatest of Deep Purple's classic albums but for the casual fan and the metal genre at large there is no doubt. Machine Head is an album that changed music. Listening to it now it's impossible not to hear it's influence not only on Maiden and the bands of the eighties but on today's big riffing hard rockers. Ian Gillan's vocals are just as iconic, if not quite as distinct, as Ozzy and Plant before him. The riffage on this album is just off the scales, and the use of keys and organ to complement the guitar, while dated, helps Deep Purple sound utterly distinct even after years of cheap knock offs. Across this album there are riffs that crunch, that soar, that chug and that drive like a mother fucker. Oh and there's some song called "Smoke On The Water", if you've learnt to play guitar, you've played that riff, but behind the legendary riff, lies a stellar vocal performance and a hook laden chorus that I fear too few of today's aspiring metallers have actually heard.

Now when you think duel guitar solo's there's a fair chance you think Maiden but the true originators were Deep Purple. When it comes to metal classics, one track is shamefully under represented and that is the sheer mind blowing genius of "Highway Star". It almost astounds me that this track was made in 1972 it still sounds so fresh. The guitars are more visceral than they have any right to be (this is pre punk remember, not quite pre Iggy though), the track chugs and it nearly develops into a Maiden-eske gallop, Ian Gillan is exploding with energy, and the solos are just gorgeous. Across the rest of the album we get the big ballsy crunching blues riffs cranked up to the max and combined with some classic metal vocals that almost verge on the operatic. Listening to Machine Head now you can feel and hear the inspiration for a million different sub genres and deviations. It may not be metal's greatest listen but it's the type of album that make you want to pick up a guitar and start laying down some thick grooves. Perhaps more than Sabbath and Zeppelin, Deep Purple sound like an all star music collective. You can hear the blues, the classic rock and roll, the surf-arama, a touch of rock-a-billy and some big pop hooks that The Beatles would have been proud of, and most remarkably of all you can hear it on a single track like the wonderfully epic "Pictures Of Home", my person favourite Deep Purple track. So next time someone's raving about Ozzy & Iomni or Page & Plant make sure they don't forget Gillan & Blackmore.

The Metal Time Line (so far):

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???
1972: Machine Head - Deep Purple
???
???
1982: The Number Of The Beast - Iron Maiden
???
???
1998: System Of A Down - System Of A Down
???
???

1982: The eighties would be a make or break decade for metal as a genre. Free from the dominance of original pioneers: Black Sabbath, Deep Purple and Led Zeppelin, the genre had managed to survive the summer of punk thanks to likes of Judas Priest but as another new decade dawned it was time for Metal to evolve or fade away.


1982 saw the emergence of one of the most important movements in heavy rock history, the New Wave In British Metal. While the resurgence had started in the late seventies with key releases from Motorhead and Iron Maiden, 1982 was the year the scene truly exploded and found the album that a new legion of fans could triumphantly cling to as a work just as important (if not quite as good) as IV or Paranoid. I'm sure 99% of you have already figured out which LP I'm about to review (and no it's not Borrowed Time by Diamond Head) but it's still interesting to look back and see how the music media consider of the time viewed the band.

Interestingly the album that I'm about to review came seventh in Kerrang's album of the year losing out to Tom Petty, Rush, Kiss, Robert Plant, Van Halen and ultimately Blackout by the Scorpions. If that's not the definition of musical conservatism I don't know what is. But at least Kerrang recognised the album's quality, Rolling Stone the US stalwart of the old school panned the album, flat out calling it bad music.

So I'm sure you've all guessed it, one of the most obviously inclusion imaginable:

The Number Of The Beast - Iron Maiden
(EMI 1982, Matt Birch)

So yes one of the most predictable entries has been revealed, but honestly was there any alternate? Can this album really be denied? Looking back I feel quite ashamed that it didn't make my top fifty albums of the eighties, but then had I done the top 100 I'd have likely listed the three Maiden classics back to back. Anyway, it seems hard to imagine now, but back in 1982 this album was the subject of derision not adulation. The US straight out rejected the album, feeling it was satanic and cultish, which of course was about the best publicity any metal band could ever hope for. The Number Of The Beast was also an incredibly important album for Maiden themselves, not only because it's arguably their best, but because it saw a major shift in the bands direction. Most notably the arrival of Bruce Dickenson one of the greatest front men of all time, with an incredible range and a near unparalleled flair for the dramatic. More importantly it marked a fundamental shift in Maiden's song writing. The British New Wave core sound saw metal bands swap the early blues influence of Zeppelin for the punk influences that came to prominence in the late 70s. 1982 saw Maiden change tack, they kept the relentless punk spirit in their guitar work but opened their song writing up to sprawling operatic epics more suited to Dickenson's range, and it was this philosophical change that would change the face of metal forever. Prog and Opera were in, and they'd stay in till this very day.

It's not surprising that the albums two weakest tracks "Gangland" and "22 Arcadia Avenue" focus on rough and tough tales of street fighting gangs, that just seem at odds with Dickenson's personality. The latter of the two track still manages to thrill despite not quite feeling right. The rest of the album is the work of genius. With galloping guitars, and widescreen epics with tempo and mood changes galore. Dickenson retells the sci fi epics like "the Prisoner" or delves into psychological torment with the the legendary "Hallowed Be Thy Name". After "Invaders" sets the pace the album never lets up, only getting steadily more epic with the great wall of china style riffage of "Children Of The Dammed", the blood and guts gallop through the US's genocidal history that is "Run To The Hills" and of course the albums title track which contains, in my opinion, the greatest blood curdling cry in metal history. However if there is any one track that sums up why Maiden are so revered and most importantly so much fun, it's "Hallowed Be Thy Name" it has everything that makes Madien great and it just feels just as essential on the fiftieth listen as it did on the first. Number Of The Beast is beyond influential, everyone from Metallica to Dream Theatre have at some point been touched by this album, music wouldn't be the same without it.

The Metal Time Line:

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1982: The Number Of The Beast - Iron Maiden
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1998: System Of A Down - System Of A Down
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1998: It was a funny year for metal, after the earlier years of the decade had seen land mark releases from the now legendary Grunge artists: Nirvana, Pearl Jam and Soundgarden. Followed by the emergence of Tool and a band called Rage Against The Machine were just starting to edge their way towards world domination. But when 1998 came around, it felt like the calm before the storm. Nu-Metal was lurking just around the corner ready to propel metal onto Radio One once more, but in 1998 quite frankly not much was happening.


When it came to the end of year lists three albums dominated the countdowns. Marilyn Manson refocused himself with the Bowie tribute Mechanical Animals and garnered much of the public attention, Max Cavelera rose from the ashes of Sepultura to create Soulfly's self titled debut, and believe it or not the concensus choice for album of the year all the way from the softer mags to "the defender of faith" Metal Hammer was Monster Magnet's Powertrip.Obviously hindsight is twenty-twenty but the years truly ground breaking album was tragically over looked. Kerrang magazine respectably named this break out LP as the third best of the year, while Metal Hammer overlooked this LP all together, despite finding space for Metallica's cover collection Garage Inc.

So have you guessed it yet? 1998's entrant in the metal time line is:


System Of A Down - System Of A Down
(American Recordings 1998, Rick Rubin)

So while music writers may have preoccupied themselves with retrospection and the heavy rock establishment waves and waves of young metal fans were being blown away by System Of A Down and their self titled debut. What makes System Of A Down a triumph is a central paradox at the album's core. When you listen to this record it feels like a big label debut, full of bluster and bombast. It has the sharp sense of purpose associated with Rick Rubin's production wizardry, yet at the time it feels totally chaotic, even schzofrenic. The result was a heavy weight debut that felt both major league in scope and independent in spirit. Much of the credit for System Of A Down's success lies with the band themselves; while the individual elements of the music may not be new, System managed to arrive fully formed with a signature sound that was so defiantly distinct.

All the trademarks were in place, the mad cap sychofrenia of Serj's vocals, the amusing interplay with Darol, the two note riffs and of course those pummelling bombastic guitar beat downs. Perhaps the biggest factor in this album success was their Armenian heritage, System sounded different and out there without actually being out there. With their references to war, genocide and the authoritarianism of Eastern Europe, they sounded like a band with genuine passion and something to say, even when they had nothing more than a juvenile joke on their minds. Of course System's greatest assets, and what ultimately makes their debut and instant classic is the sheer enjoyment it brings you. This is a fun album, and I mean it's really fun, it makes you want to mosh along to their pummelling grooves and even in it's bleakest moments it makes you smile. Of course it helps that it's stacked from first track to last with hits, fan favourites and live anthems. Whether it be live set staple "Suite-Pee", the frantic fury of "War?" (which would become a sprawling live epic), the monster riffage of "Know", or of course the utter all round genius of stand out single "Sugar", this self titled debut was destined to thrust SOAD to the front of the metal scene. All the elements that would make System one of metals elite were present in their rawest form, they would be smoothed over, expanded and turned into a world conquering formula on 2001's Toxicity, but you can never quite match the visceral thrill of hearing the young hungry System for the first time.

The Time Line:

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1998: System of A Down - System Of A Down
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Hello there everyone. I've rather neglected the blogosphere lately, as I've been having to pound out a couple of articles a week on 411mania.com, but I did promise more content and here it comes.


I've decided to focus my blog more around lists, features and singles reviews, due to my commitments elsewhere. Now fear not before the month is out I shall post my Joanna Newsom review, and I will conclude my top 1,000 singles of the 2000s countdown. But because that list is so time consuming, I don't want it to get in the way of some serious work I have coming up.

So with all that in mind, I launch:

Daveportivo's Metal Timeline:

In this new feature I'll be creating a time line of metal from 1970-2010. Where after a brief introduction I pick one album as a representative of that year in Metal History. I will of course add to this list once it's finished, perhaps adding multiple albums to list.

Now the point of this time line is to give a flavour of the development of metal and look at some of the landmark releases. Now as I'm sure you know, Heavy Rock isn't my genre of choice so this is as much an education for me as it is for you, and there are a couple of albums that I've genuinely never heard before. I intend to give my genuine appraisal of the piece, as a piece of music, rather than as a revered historical landmark.

Furthermore this list will be constituted of albums that I haven't already talked about on this blog at length. So no: Master Of Puppets, Ride The Lightening, And Justice For All, Kill 'Em All, Vulgar Display Of Power, Reign In Blood, Chaos A.D., Nevermind, In Utero, Back In Black, Van Halen II, and some other notable albums will be left off. (If you'd like to hear about these albums just look back through my listings)

One final note the time line will play out, out of order. So enjoy guessing what will come where and filling in the gaps. So LETS GO!

These are the rules, I will now start the article, in a different post.

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About this blog


This is your one stop shop of pop culture reviews I most specialize in Music, Politics & Film. I occasionally delve into TV reviews. I've got a Politics MA and a War Studies BA, I'm taking a year out before starting a Phd so when it comes to History and Politics I'm pretty well versed but I tend to keep this blog fun rather than serious.

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