Daveportivo's Cultural Evaluation Facility

"Wahooo, Yeah-hooo" it seems that that one bellow from Akon combined with a super sugary verse or two from Gwen saved her abortion of a second album from complete and utter failure by the smallest of margins. Allowing Miss Stefani to retained her status as a pop superstar. Damn that hook, it's so bloody catchy but it's hardly What You Waiting For.

Audioslave to me were always one of the biggest dissapointments, I always figured putting Rage's bombast with Chris Cornell's song writing, and lets face it, the fact that he can actually sing (*coughs* Zack) would equal alot more than mediocrity but mediocre is what we got. Cochise was a big booming anthem, it lacked subtly and sophistication but it could never really fail as a head banging monster.

A second and final dose of Craig David on this countdown comes in the form of his debut hit, and I mean hit, back in 2000 the idea of a young R'n'B star from the UK shooting to the upper echelons of the Billboard chart in the US was laughable, but Craig changed that. Aside from the dated posturing Fill Me In is still a gorgeous understated slice of R'n'B.

So the great rule of hip hop is that Rappers should never produce, and producers should never rap (with the exception of Kanye West of course). Timberland, however, is no exception, he's a horrible rapper and he often buries potentially decent tracks, however even his best efforts couldn't stop this beast of a single from dominating the air ways in 2007.

So really no one was really excepting much of Julian's solo project, in fact most of us were surprised he could even be bothered to record it in the first place. Lucky he did because while it was far from a complete work it was nevertheless a revelation and surprisingly a hell of a good time! 11th Dimension with it's Let's Go Crazy in space feel was a groovy lightening bolt of a first single that demands you dance and prance like your life depended on it.

Oasis simply lacked the talent to grow old in a respectable fashion, instead we got bland regrettable album after bland regrettable album. Thankfully while they may have lost the Zeitgeist they never really lost their flare for the big singalong. The Importance Of Being Idle was the ultimate lazy summers afternoon sing song, it annoyed many but with it's killer hook and cool video it proved to be their last "super" hit.

Jenny Lewis of Rilo Kiley always felt like she should be a huge radio two level superstar but it just seems like she can never quite breakthrough. It's a shame because with beautifully pitched ballads as delicately yet powerful as Rise Up With Fists and a good sense of humour there really is no reason why she can't take that next step.

Fat Boy Slim was never really cut out for twenty first century, he always felt like a relic from the age of the superdj. Thankfully in early 2000 Norman Cook put away the gimmicks and created this gorgeous dark sweeping epic that remains the greatest song he ever penned (or should that be spun?).

So while the Strokes Indie revolution was beginning to take hold and change the musical landscape pop punk was having it's final moment in the sun and Sum 41 would be the last major Kerrang level pop punk superstars for quite some time. They certainly came out of the gate on fire with a streak of irresistible singles like Motivation with it's nerdy underdog charm.

Ah the novelty dance craze, I have to say of all the goofy dances this was my favourite when this track was blowing up in early 2006 in hip hop clubs I remember being the only white bloke who'd join in. It was a hell of alot of fun especially when they dropped it into the likes of Pow or Make It Rain creating an instant mosh pit. This was a fun but superficial time in hip hop, it never really worked in the mainstream clubs though, it was all rather too nice.

So when Lungs finally got released it was all rather disappointing but it couldn't dampen the brilliance of Florence's early singles. Rabbit Heart would become the centre piece of her earth shattering live show and it served as a welcome breathe of fresh air in the incredible stale indie scene of 2008.

It's odd that this was released in 2008 as it seemed like it was around for alot lot longer, in 2008 Indie had turned stale and it looked like Metal was due for a comeback and the Bullet boys duly stepped up with these surprisingly sweet and snappy harmonies. Heart Burst Into Fire is hardly the new metal revolution but it's a pretty good homage to the past and a good stop gap until the next great act reveals itself.

Finally Lady Sovereign got it right, we knew she had the talent but she always spent too long pandering to the Americans whoring her nationality for cheap laughs. Yet in the amidst of all the phoney Englishness it was a sample of that most English of bands The Cure that allowed her to create one truly great record. So Human is proof that everyone deserves a second chance and hopefully Sov can get it right from here on in.

Down could never quite live up to the hype, they've never quite fulfilled their potential but to be fair their not far short, and there doing alot better than Audioslave ever did, yet they can't quite make that album to tip themselves over the edge. Yet with groovy leviathans the size of On March The Saints they won't be running out of opportunities any time soon.

Buttons seemed like a natural evolution in the Dolls formula, it got stickier, sexier and erh...even more silly. As they demanded men stop saying what they do to them and just do it, hmmn...well I hope their super fans didn't take the message to seriously. Regardless it was another slice of unstoppable pop with the obligatory guest spot for Snoop.

God could Benjamin's voice be anymore annoying, seriously this simply can't be his natural singing voice can it? Well regardless in Red Flag he made a flag waving (ugh) anthem, it may grate like an unholy cheese grater but Billy Talent sure do make great pop songs.

Now Katy Perry is a pretty horrible act live (yes I've seen her) and her albums aren't much better but the lady does know how to wrap her lips around a hit single and Waking Up In Vegas is no exception. Surprisingly it's the only song in her entire catalogue that actually sounds better live, it becomes and epic sing along riding a crunchy guitar lick.

Oh My God its a simple sentiment but it's been turned into three separate hit singles this decade. Ida Maria's Oh My God is a wonderful work, simple and to the point, it's an internal neurotic rant laid out for all to hear on the airwaves. It's a great concept and while it wouldn't be her biggest single it was her most refreshing.

Ah now this was a real hang over from the nineties, one of the last "great" hits with the old (horrid) pop formula. However this spunky little one hit wonder managed to stand out from a dreadful crowd because it actually appeared to have something resembling character and personality over that gnawing obnoxious beat.

2006-7 seemed like the golden age of the monster hip hop collaboration it seemed that everything T.I, Rick Ross and the mind blowingly awesome Lil'Wayne touched turned to gold and Dj Khaled's We Takin' Over was one of the finest such works, it was a hip hop juggernaut. Naturally it was Wheezy's laid back flow that stole the show.

Back in 2005/6 Sway was the funniest and most promising young rapper to come out of the UK since Dizzee broke through. Sway shocked world at the Mobo's and even got a mercury nod, unfortunately he'd end up in the bland world of R'n'B but for a little while Sway was the coolest of the cool as he laid waste to Hype Boys with his forked tongue.

Thanks to a sublime video directed by the late Heath Ledger this dark broodin eerie and occasionally visceral sea shanty got the audience it richly deserved. King Rat felt like a descent into madness, like a crazy sea captain sailing manically to his doom . Quite simply it's one of Isaac Brock's most captivating and phenomenal performances and one of the greatest by any lead singer in recent memory.

I have to say Up feels like a relief after the dark aggressive pounding of King Rat, Up is a classic pop song, a simple looping beat, and a charming little hook. The Saturdays are still finding their place in the pop Hierarchy and it still remains unclear whether they have what it takes to stick around (they certainly have the looks) but whatever the future holds it was Up that orginally thrust them headlong into the limelight. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-Gn8lDWQ50

Lupe Fiasco is another one of those rappers who fell between the cracks, he was a little to quirky for mainstream success but a little too hip hop for indie circles, but luckily Lupe's talent made sure he wouldn't fade away. Kick Push is his most beautiful track, its wonderfully laid back and open ended, and defines his more open eyed approach to the rap game.

"Let's have some fun, This beat is Sick, I wanna take a ride on your Disco Stick" from those lines alone you now it could only be Lady Gaga. It may not be high IQ stuff but it does make for thrilling pop music, I always thought this was her weakest single until I saw her at V festival where she and this track blew me away, Gaga truly has something, I'm not sure what it is but she has "it". Whether it'll last, who knows? Put pops certainly a more colourful place with her in it, and she's a great place to round off the first 100 entrants our list. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fDwRRZ7eUo