Daveportivo's Cultural Evaluation Facility

It seems things always come full circle, in 2001 spiky American punk was on the way out and come 2008 it was cool and relatively credible once again (hmmn...maybe that's pushing it) but regardless Kids In Glass Houses were conquering dancefloors and the pages of Kerrang and Rock Sound with snappy anthems with the pedigree of Give Me What I Want.

Combine Catsuits and a vaguely sexy albeit flaccid pop hook and you have yourself a number one hit. Another cast of from Popstars and one of the last of the pure pop acts (the type which had dominated the 1990s) it all seems rather regrettable now, but were it not for the success of Liberty X we may never have gotten Girls Aloud. I should say something positive I suppose...hmnn...well they were better than Hearsay at least.

Ah thank christ, at last a song I actually like, I was worried this sub section was going to be dominated by storytelling rather than songs I could really get into. They Say just plain rocks, after System split (or took a break) and Serj's uninspired solo album it was Scars And Broadway and They Say that proved that the system boys could make it on their own.

I have to say I was skeptical of the Saturdays at first, the first couple of videos were uninspiring to say the least but they've recovered with a series of heavy hitting pop songs that have spawned endless remixes and taking over radio play lists nationwide. They've filed the void left by the Sugababes and they've looked damn good doing it.

The Chillis had become stadium sized world straddling superstars in 2006, seemingly with nothing better to do they created a bloated double album called Stadium Arcadium, it was largely a disappointment. It exposed their sound rather than showcasing it. However they did manage to show off John Fruscainte as one of this decades great guitar heroes and he steals the show on Dani California with his killer ending solo.

I wonder if Rammstein realized they were making a monstrous hit when they were working on this little ditty, it was designed as entrance music for Boxing world champion Vitali Klichtschko and ended up being arguably their most famous track. With it's churning industrial beat and operatic vocals it pretty much sums up the sound that made this German speaking band into world wide superstars.

Deftones have to be the band I dislike most in the world, I've never understood their appeal or credibility, I know their not taken particularly seriously in the music press but they seem to have almost garnered a "legends" reputation. Minerva is one of their biggest and most successful anthems and was one of their last truly relevant tracks.

Where Have All The Rude Boys Gone? always felt like a love letter to the ska and punk music of the past, ironically it's was written by a band from Washington D.C. Regardless it's a slick little rocker with some delightfully pitched harmonies and a thoroughly English sound, it was a refreshing slice of old school indie in 2003.

I've never really been one for novelty dance records but when you take an old goofy gem like Leo Sayer's Thunder In My Heart and turn it into a dance floor destroyer in 2006 I can't help but applaud. Whenever I hear this song I can't help but think of good times and great memories.

Southern Hip Hop and Crunk is about as morose as it gets, but it sure can be alot of fun, and E40 is no exception sitting at home in your headphones Tell Me When Go is an awkward listen, but in a club or in the live arena its transformed into a pounding bass driven beast.

So you take a cover of a cover of a song translated into English, get a low rent neighbours actress to sing it and of course you have a mammoth number one. The mere prospect of a Kiss Kiss from Holly Valance had school boys queuing up to get their grubby little hands on this track. More importantly it had a hell of a beat and lent it self to a million remixes.

Welsh Five Piece Funeral For A Friend have managed to carve themselves a nice place in the hard rock hierarchy, by staying low key and keeping a workman like attitude to churning out singles they've rapidly rised up the ranks to scene leaders and have started making genuinely good music. Waterfront... is a prime example with it's killer guitar hooks that perfectly offset the whiny vocals.

Oh deary me, yes I have just included a Black Eyed Peas track on this list, but this is the right track to include. It's the only time they've ever seen remotely important and of course having Justin Timberlake on board always helps (I don't think that man can make bad pop songs). However we should have known from the B-side Something For That Ass that they were still the same bunch of morons we always knew they were. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJpyskHMwRs

It may have taken over sixty tracks but we finally have our first taste of Folk on the list, and this feels like a good old fashion throw back. You could just imagine The Band proudly singing this song right after The Weight. It's a lovely piece of storytelling with some superb detailed flourishes.

Awwwwww Yeah it's the year 2000 and goofy white boys rapping with turn tables is actually cool. I defy anyone not to have fond memories of this song, it's horrible but utterly brilliant and so Scandinavian it hurts.

The lead off single from the Era Vulgaris album felt like a disappointment at the time but it was soon revealed itself to be a mosh pit monster and a fine addition to the Queen's live arsenal, with it's crunching relentless riffery.

So back in 2000 while Timbaland was the exclusive property of Missy Elliot Nelly Furtado was anything but the image of cool and hardly considered a pin up. She was however craving out a niche as a folks pop star, it wouldn't last and we're all glad she made the transition to sexy cool but she did leave behind this one major anthem. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxiYBcJi8y4

In 2000 Rage seemingly bored of their own angst riden political funk metal decided to pinch a track from a true innovator and brought Afrika Bambataa back to the mainstream. It's remains one of their finest pop songs and a rare break from the monotony of the Rage formula; now dance sucker dance.

Oh yeah it's been over sixty tracks since Basshunter so you better believe it's time for some Eurodance, and there is no Eurodance song more cheesy, more shameless or more irresistable than Infernal's From Paris To Berlin. If you've never danced to this song your either; too young or you have no sense of humour.

Oh how the mighty have fallen, in the apolcalyptic pop landscape of the 2000 Craig David stood out as Britian's greatest young R'n'B star with sleek hits like Seven Days. He'd turn into a running joke by the mid 2000s and now as the decade reaches it's conclusion there's a mild nostalgic longing for Craig and he's managed to reclaim his legacy as one of the few bright spot in those dark days.

I have to say I met the reunion of the Verve with a yawn, and was even less thrilled with the forgettable Forth LP, but having them seen them live I remember why everyone loved them in the first place, and in the booming single Love Is Noise they gave us one last great singalong that easily sits along side Sonnet and Drugs Don't Work in a headline set list. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quEyuyEc2jY

So we close this subsection of the list with soft rock king David Gray, there was always something pleasant about Mr. Gray, you should hate him but he can't quite piss you off in the way Travis could. Instead he simply made some beautiful pop songs, and kind of faded away, how nice of him. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVkyrMn0POM