Daveportivo's Cultural Evaluation Facility

Britney returned in 2007 to a public smear campaign and she didn't help herself with a horrid performance at the VMAs, but behind the meltdowns and the gossip people almost failed to notice that she had created this generations greatest camp anthem, a perennial G-A-Y night centre piece in the form of Gimmie More.

Back in 2001 it was remarkably refreshing to see Luda take his foot of the pedal and create one of the summer's best laid back jams. Okay so the puns were horrible but this track simply refused to disappoint, it's too well pitched and too well paced.

Okay so it's a cover of one of the tracks in my eighties list, but seriously you can never hear Beat It too many times? No, honestly you can't. Even the king of the out of tune vocal Patrick Stump couldn't bury this masterpiece, hearing the guitars turned up to eleven just transported this cover to another dimension.

This is about as pure a pop record as you can possibly get, a one hit wonder from Australia that built it's success on the back of a slot of the Fifa 09 soundtrack. The hooks are remorseless and endless, the pulsating beats just refuse to desist and it's simple choppy formula made it perfect remix fodder.

In 2002 Nu-Metal was still refusing to die, A had the good graces not to rap but the horrid turntable effects and mind numbing lyrics make it the a-typical early 2000s hard rock staple. Thankfully Nothing was backed a rip snorting chorus that dominates the popular memory of this track. Now all hail the riffage!

Usher has to be my least favourite "urban" act of all time, but Love In This Club is undeniable; a grinding slow jam built on a dense wave of triumphant synths, it was the only bright spot of the unfathomably hideous Here I Stand.

Riding on one of their so simplistic it hurts "dada da da da" guitar lines and with a booming irresistibly sassy hook this track was destined to dominate the air waves. Brand New Eyes was one of the years biggest let downs but at least it's lead of single was a sure fire festival slayer.

Whenever, Wherever simply could not fail, it was impossible, especially with Shakira fronting this rumbling irony laden slice of Latin pop. Now the Latin craze may have died in the nineties but Shakira would go onto to prove she was more than just a gimmick and her debut single still sounds vibrant and a great tongue in cheek sense of humour, we should have known this lady was here to stay.

Papa Roach are about as lame a band as could ever exist, yet they are impossible to hate, they just have a sense of unpretentious fun that makes them somehow palatable. Last Resort wasn't particularly fun lyrical but it was a barnstorming single, each and every line setting a new standard in infectiousness.

"A funny thing A King who gets himself assinated" I'm not exactly sure why but I've always loved that line, like most Chilli's tracks it's lyrically scatterbrained and jumps around thematically but that's the one nugget I took away from this track. Fortune Faded was thrown out there to promote a greatest hits record and of course it was a smash hit, that's how hot the Chillis were in 2003.

The Audio Bully really were horrible, all posturing and bluster, but they did leave behind a couple of classic singles. Shot You Down was there biggest selling, and as much as they tried the Bullys simply could not undermine the brilliance of Nancy Sinatra's resurrected classic. I might give the Bullys credit had they plucked the sample out of their own memory banks but unfortunately they had clearly just been to see the excellent Kill Bill.

I have to say I really did not expect Linkin Park to have the remarkable longevity they've displayed. Sure the returns have declined dramatically but ever since the days of Crawling, their first cross over hit, they've never looked back and have taken their grating rock across the globe never looking back.

Royal Flush was the first slice of Big Boi's highly anticipated solo LP, of course, ironically it was Andre 3000 who would steal the show with his mammoth verse that powers the track to it's conclusion. ..Flush follows the Might O formula seeing Outkast's skills on the mic carrying the track rather than a goofy hook. This is a slick understate beat followed by bar after bar of sick rhymes.

Oh those pulsating synths and those suggestive lyrics, oh Allison you are a tease, well the OTT sexuality was all rather flabby and flaccid over 12 tracks but in small dose like the lead single from their second album it was sublime. Style over substance? Of course, but it was such style.

So Bubba Sparxxx was far too gimmicky to really last, but with an insane Timbaland beat and a surprisingly tight swagger Bubba Sparxxx actually managed to make a splash with his debut. He may not have had much more to offer but for a brief moment he was a superstar, thanks largely to Ugly.

Take the best MCs from Wu Tang, take a Four Tops sample and combine it with an insanely cool animated video and you have one of the greatest rap singles of the decade. Raekwon is a beast on the mic and this is another old school slice of rap, the beat never drops, the rhymes never cease, it's a remorse assualt on your senses and it's exhilarating as all hell.

A beautifully tentative ballad that perfectly encapsulate the nerves and tension of forcing yourself to admit that your in love with someone. Lykke Li's vocal is so sweet and fragile it's just perfect, Little Bit is an emaculately judged work, unfortunately debut album Youth Novels simply couldn't quite meet the lofty expectation raised by this superb single.

Honestly of all the one hit wonder gimmicky artist to make a comeback I don't think anyone was backing Shaggy. He took us all by surprise, not only did he successfully re-conquer the charts he actually managed to over shadow Mr. Boombastic and create a new defining hit. So fair play to Shaggy, he may not make the world's greatest music but he has proved to have the longevity that so few popstars are afforded.

Trance is possible the lamest and dated genre in music today, well it's not reached Acid House proportions but it's close. Back in 2000 it hadn't quite died but it had made the transition into pop music and it allowed Sonique to create one of the decades most memorably hits with it's divinely pitched chorus, it all seems so long ago now, but this was the first huge hit of the 2000s.

Ronnie James Dio motherfuckers!!! Sorry I couldn't resist, Holy Diver is the second cover of the this sub section and it's a metal tyrannosaurus, Howard Jones throws himself head first into the track and powers out the vocals will all the gusto and pomp that the track deserves, this track shouldn't have worked in 2006, but god you try and deny it.

Nick Cannon on his improv show Wild And Out told Jim Jones that now he may be Ballin' but after this single his careers gonna be fallin'. Of course he was right, Jim Jones didn't have the talent to last but he did have this one killer single, it's undeniable, and its the epitome of fun hip-hop, a killer hook and a track that anybody and everybody can dance to.

Wow this was a really tough choice Kamphopo or Rain Dance in the end, as good as M.I.A's verse was, you just can't deny the feel good brilliance of Kamphopo. It needs no superstar MC, it just needs the Warm Heart Of Africa. It's a beautiful piece of music and I can't wait to review the album later this week. If you listen to this track and don't smile and don't want to dance, then there is something seriously wrong with you.

From the sublime to the ridiculous, but to try and deny Ridin' would be foolish, this song had hit written all over it, it only took fifteen second and the world was hooked. Remixes and Parodies would follow but nothing could top the original, it may seem like a novelty now, but club bangers didn't come bigger in '06.

Now I have to say it feels like a crime that such a gorgeous peice of music should place so low on my list, but there really was no other choice, other than quality of music, it didn't fulfill any of the other requirements for a high placing single. It's a shame as Miss You is undoubtably the finest compostion to make the list thus far, a sublime slice of down tempo electronica.