Daveportivo's Cultural Evaluation Facility

I haven't mentioned this yet but this show does have the absolute gayest theme music in the history of television. Seriously, for possibly the sport with the most credibility in the wrold it has the goofiest song ever, has to be heard to be believed.

Bisping tells the show by telling his boys to get used to the feeling of of winning. Meanwhile the US team is pissed off, it does really seem like they thought they'd walk all over the show. In the car the US guys try to say they are going to act magnaimus in defeat but Cameron and Damarquez say fuck it and say they gonna be cocky gits. Cameron is going on about humping 70 girls and not knowing their names, what a deuche bag. Cameron talks about humping a married man's wide so one of the over guy goes and punches him in the arm. Dent is unhappy and goes to hang out with team UK.

We then go to the next fight announcement and its gonna be Andre Winner vs. Santino Defranco. Hmmn...this will be interesting I fancy Andre in this one because Santino looks like crap in his fight although he managed to take a hell of a beating. Andre looked impressive but was fighting a guy who just couldn't hang.

Bisping says Winner is extremely fast and explosive. We see clips of Andre practising wrestling with Bisping and he manages to take him down. Santino Defranco talks about trying out for Season Two and finding out he had two brain anurisms. Santino says he was told he was down as a fighter but after some time with nuerolagist he was told he could fight again. Dan Henderson is teaching Defranco how to stop Andre winning in the clinch.

Andre Winner vs. Santino Defranco

Prediction: I like Santino's confidence but I think Andre will have too much for him. (my record 0-1)

Round One: Both men feel each other out with some stray shots. Santino goes for a takedown but Dre avoids it and escapes and then gets a leg block. Santino throws some high kicks but Andre lands a jab. Andre avoids another takedown and Andre starts being more adventurous with the jabs. Dre keeps his hands very low. Santino gets a leg kick, Santino dodges the jabs with ease but can't avoid a body shot. Dre avoids a takedown but very nearly gets caught in a triangle but manages to escape. Santino is much better on the ground but Andre exlodes an beats the living shit out of Santino who just gets in the fetal position again until the referee stops.

There was a lot of dancing around in that fight and it was looking very interest for a while but whenever Santino gets hit on the ground he just crawls up in the fetal position, he's got to do more if he hopes to go further. Not convinced that Andre has a wide enough skill set to go very far.

Bisping is very happy and Dan tells his team that they need to listen to instruction and follow the game plan. Santino can't believe how stupid he was getting over anxious.

Back at the house Dent is struggling with socailizing. Dent says to there faces that he'd rather hang out with team UK an he lays into Dollar's stupid hat. Henderson is training his guys and picking out future fights Pierce is too nervous to fight Faulkner cause he's short and stocky and one of the other US guys calls him a fag. Cameron and Miller then get in a scrap and Miller calls him a cock sucker. Damarquez then gets in an argument with Dent, Cameron then rips on Dent, god Damarques and Cameron are total twats. Dan Henderson gives them pep talk and tells them to bust the UK guys balls if there pissed.

The UK guys are doing flips on the trampoline and playing soccer, one guy to his credit actually hits a pele. Its pretty funny seeing them goof around. Man this show is making the UK look great, even if we get our arse handed to us overall.

It's fight announcement and its Damarquez Johnson vs. Dean Amasinger. Dan said he picked this fight because he wanted a garenteed win. Bisping is pretty happy but he admits the he thinks Damarquez is the best fighter on the US's team.

Bisping has watched some of Damarquez's fights and it turns out that he's awesome at triangles, Dean is bloody terrible on the ground and got caught in three triangle chokes in his first match up. Dean is absolutely ripped to fuck. We then see the humble side of Damarquez as he talks about having fun and he prays in the corner of the ring. Okay this is weird we see Andre shaving off Dean's back hair for the fight.

Before the fight Mike Bisping hasn't shown up for his guys fight apparently this is the first time in Ultimate Fighter history. Dean is dissapointed and thinks if he'd been one of Bisping's regular guys he'd never of missed the fight.

Dean Amasinger vs. Damarques Johnson

My Prediction: Dean has spunk but he's going to get knocked the fuck out or tapped out, Damarquez just looks to be good in every aspect. (My record 1-1)

Round One: Dean gets a good leg kcik but when he tries another Johnson gets a good takedown but both men scramble to their feet. Dean gets a takedown but Johnson goes for the Camera but Dean escapes and gets a mount and walks right into a triangle, he battles and hits a powerbomb but Damarques holds on and locks the hold in even tighter and Dean has to tap out.

That was fun while it lasted, Dean looked more competitive than I thought he would but you just can't be so susceptible to triangles as he is.

Dan Henderson says Bisping didn't turn up because he knew he'd lose. Dean is really upset and cries he thinks he let the side down. He said he got to cocky when he felt how weak his opponent was and presumed he could power out of any hold he had.

Overall Thoughts: Interesting episode, its fun to see the UK guys acting so chilled and having fun while the US team gets torn apart by arrogant deuche bags. It was also interesting to see how important this is to the guys and Dean's reaction was really suprising. The fights weren't so hot this weak, the second went along with expectation but the first was dissapointing as it looked like it would be a good fight but Santino just seemed to give up again. The tease for next week of why Bisping didn't turn up to a fight and how his team will react to his return is very intriguing, as is selling the young-old divide in the US team and how that plays out. Solid episode nothing to right home about, looking forward to the two fights in the next episode. Fine TV but nothing more this week. (6/10)