Daveportivo's Cultural Evaluation Facility

We then go to the openening video package its pretty good stuff, they put over their stars well and its pretty dramatic you can really see that WWE was gaining momentum. We start with the pyro and you can see one guy clearly shitting his pants when the fireworks go off. Mike Tyson is in his own luxury box.

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So Goldust gets to open the show two years running, well it can't be worst than last year. Oh how the mighty have fallen Vader is reduced to openening the show. Goldust unloads on Vader to start the match before running into a clubbing Vader strike, Vader then hits the Vader splash in the corner and Goldust has to bail to the otuside. Vader then squashes Goldust and Luna together at ringside. Vader throws Goldust into the steel steps as the crowd start a big "Vader" chant. Goldust picks up the steel steps but Jack Doan steps in between and won't let Vader uses them.

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They return to the ring and Vader hits a big back body drop. Luna grabs Vader's foot and Goldust hits a diving closeline. Goldust avoids Vader sitting on him and then scores with a basement closeline. Goldust then comes off the second rope with a bionic elbow to the gut of Vader. Goldust then takes Vader to the outside and throws him through the steel steps. Goldust distracts the referee and Luna chokes Vader with her high heel.

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They return to the ring and unloads with a series of punches to the gut and then unloads with a ten punch and bite that just pisses Vader off who explodes with a huge clubbing closeline turning Goldust inside out. Goldust gets an eye poke but can't slam Vader responds with a suplex and a big splash for a nearfall. Vader then kill Goldust with a short arm closeline. Vader then goes for the Vader bomb but Luna distracts the referee and Goldust low blows Vader.

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Goldust charges but Vader sweeps his legs, Goldust tries a sunset flip but this time Vader sits down right on top of Goldust. Vader pulls Goldust to the corner and plays to the crowd, Vader goes for the Vader bomb but Luna runs in and applies a sleeper to Vader. Vader doesn't care and hits an awesome Vader Bomb with Luna on his back for the 1-2-3.

Stone Cold arrives backstage but isn't interested in interviews, the Godwins want to know where Austin is.

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Tarantula clubs down Nova before being hit with an arm drag and a flying headscissors. Nova then sweeps the legs of Tarantula and dropkicks him out of the ring. Max Mini and Battalion tags in and scores with a series of arm drags before tagging out. El Torito hits a military press on Mosiac, he then scores with a farewell, Torito tries another but second time around its countered with an arm drag sending Torito to the outside. Tarantula tags in and scores with a flying closeline. Battalion tags in but he's dropkicked out by Nova, Nova then flips into a series of arm drags, about five in a row. Mosiac tags in a botches a dropkick he scores with a nice front flip ranna before hitting a flying headscissor. Tarantula kicks down Mini before killing him with a closeline. Max dodges a blind charge and scores with a dragon ranna and a back body drop.

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Mini chases Tarantula to the outside but when he return to the ring he's killed with a mafia kick and then a double kick from Battalion. Sunny tells Torito not to use closed fists. Max Mini runs through Sunny's legs and then Sunny helps him score with a series of dropkicks. Mosiac tags in and scores with another arm drag before hitting a cannon ball suicide dive, Torito hits a plancha, Mini hits an Asai corkscrew crossbody. Torito hits a dive and Nova hits an Asai moonsault in the ring Max Mini hits a dragon ranna and armdrag roll up for the win.

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The Nation of Domination are backstage looking for Austin they barge into Austin dressing room but are left with just a foam middle finger in the ring. We then see a shot of Shane and Vince sitting in a box with Mike Tyson.

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The Rock is backstage and he calls the Michael Cole an idiot he then has a few words for Bill Clinton. The Rock then cuts a fairly solid promo on Ken Shamrock.

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The chant "Rocky Sucks" right from the off. The Rock gets in the crowds face rather than locking up. Shamrock throws a wide kick but Rock dodges and they lock up. Shamrock dodges a cheap shot from the Rock before they lock up, Shamrock drives Rock to the corner and he unloads on Rocky. The Rock unloads, dodges a back elbow, dodges a closeline but runs straight into a straight kick to the gut from Shamrock. Ken then hits Rock with a big right and Rock bumps over the top rope. Slow start.

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The Rock scores with a couple of right hands and then a corner closeline, Rock tries it again but Shamrock explodes out of the corner with a pair of closelines. Shamrock goes for the Hurricanranna but Rock counters by dropping Shamrock throat first on the top rope. The Rock boots down Shamrock in the corner and chokes Ken with his boot. Ken fights out and unloads with slugs to the gut. Ken scores with a crossbody and then a fisherman's suplex for a two count but The Rock pops up and explodes with a closeline.

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The Rock throws Ken to the outside and introduces Shamrock to the steel ringsteps. The Rock returns to the ring and counters a closeline into the Laying The Smacketh Down DDT for a near fall. The Rock then slaps on a chinlock to the thrill of no one. Shamrock tries to fight out but fails and Rock slaps the chinlock right back on. Shamrock fights out, Rock tries the cruxifix DDT again but Shamrock counters with an release northern lights suplex and both men are down.

Shamrock floors Rock with a series of rights and The Rock begs off but its not happening. Shamrock hits a nice powerslam and then unloads from a mount. Rock slows Shamrock with a rake of the eyes but can't avoid a Hurricanranna. Shamrock knocks a nation member off the apron and the Rock hits Shamrock with a pair of knucks and tucks them in Ken's tights. Ken kicks out at the very last moment. The Rock goes for a right hand but is met by the side belly to belly for the 1-2-3. The Rock tells the referee he was hit with Knucks and the Referee checks Ken for knucks and finds them and reverses the decision.

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The Los Baricous are the next to try and find Steve Austin but find the D.O.A instead adn they have a wild brawl. We then get a really weird romantic style video package on the Legion of Doom.

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The Outlaws jump the LOD from behind, Animal catches Roaddog trying a leap frog and kills him with a powerbomb for a near fall. The Outlaws try to walk away but the LOD pull them back to the ring and unload. Hawk scores with a flying shoulder tackle on Jesse and follows it with a corner closeline, a big boot and fist drop. Animal tags in and they hit a double back elbow before Animal applies a chinlock? Hawk tags in and gives Roaddog a hangman's neckbreaker. Billy tags in but runs straight into a hip toss and a Lou Thez press. Hawk then spins Billy round by his hair before driving him into the mat. Animal tags in and scores with a back suplex but misses an elbow drop.

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Animal hits pair of powerslams on the Outlaws before applying a camel clutch to Billy Gunn. Hawk tags in and he locks an STF before tagging in Animal who boots Jesse off the apron. Jesse trips Animal and then Billy gives Animal a northern lariat sending him over the top rope. Jesse then Irish whips Animal into the steel ringsteps and then he lays the boots into Animal on the outside. Hawk comes into the ring and hits a double closeline on the Outlaws but misses a blind charge and goes flying shoulder first into the ringpost. Jesse gets a pair of handcuffs and hand cuffs Hawk to the ringpost.

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Animal back flips over a back suplex and scores with a double closeline on the Outlaws. Animal then flatterns Billy with a flying shoulder tackle. Billy recovers and gives Animal a body slam. Billy comes off the second rope with a flying cross body but Animal sloppily counters into a powerslam. Jesse comes in and kills Animal with a steel chair drawing a DQ. The Outlaws then beat the holy crap out of Animal with the chair before Hawk breaks the hand cuffs and lays out the Outlaws with a steel chair.

They then go to a highlight package on Stee Austin's feud with the entire WWE.

Entrant Number One is Cactus Jack. Entrant Number Two is Terry Funk. Funk comes to the ring with his chain saw and they fill the ring with weapons. Foley is just terrible here. They exchange wild chair shots. Funk begs off and then prepares for the big chair shot and takes it like a trooper. Foley then gives Funk the chair and Foley takes a pair of absolutely brutal chair shots before attempting to toss Foley. Sloppy but unique start.

Entrant Number Three is Tom Brandy. Foley and Funk double team Brandy and toss him like a bitch. Tom Brandy is Eliminated. Foley unloads with a jab flurry on Foley and goes for a piledrive on a chair but Foley counters with a back body drop and creates a chair table and suplexes Terry Funk through two chairs. Foley tries to Eliminate Funk but he hangs upside down with his feet around the top rope.

Entrant Number Four is The Rock. Funk hits a shoulderblock and both men fall down. The Rock unloads with stomps on both men. Foley gets the crash can and he massacres Rock with the crash can they then put Rock in the trash can and unload with lefts and rights. Foley then slugs Rock with a chair and he falls through the middle rope. Foley poses on the second rope and Funk low blows him.

Entrant Number Five is Mosh. Funk throws a chair at Mosh while he makes his way to the ring. Mosh then DDTs Funk who sells it like a mad man and falls through the middle ropes. Funk floors Mosh and goes for the Moonsault but totally over shoots it and crashes and burns.

Entrant Number Six is Phideous Godwin. Phideous and The Rock double team Mosh stomping him in the corner. Terry Funk lays in some big knife edge chops on the Rock to a chorus of Wooos. Foley goes fo a suplex but Mosh blocks. The Rock floors Godwin with a closeline.

Entrant Number Seven is Eight Ball. 8-Ball goes straight after the Rock with right hands. Foley charges Funk and Terry lowbridges Cactus who crashes and burns. Cactus Jack is Eliminated. The King says his sources say that someone has gotten to Steve Austin backstage. The Rock nearly tosses Funk who does a brilliant job of teasing elimination.

Entrant Number Eight is Bradshaw. Bradshaw goes to work on Mosh to little reaction. It has descended into generic brawling right now. Bradshaw hits osme huge clubbing blows.Funk plays to the crowd but the Rock kills him with a big right hand. Funk has Rock in a headscissors upside down in the ropes.

Entrant Number Nine is Owen Hart. But Jeff Jarrett and Jim Cornette attack Owen on his way to the ring killing him with a tennis racket shot and an assualt from Jarrett. The crowd are not happy about that. The Rock throws some Rock punches before Phideous kills him with a sloppy closeline.

Entrant Number Ten is Steve Blackman. Blackman unloads on Funk who again hangs on just by the skin of his teeth, Funk is absolutely superb in Rumbles. 8-Ball then gives Funk and piledriver. Bradshaw clubs away at Funk before hitting a powerbomb on Funk. 8-Ball hits a body slam on the Rock.

Entrant Number Eleven is D-lo Brown. Funk is again hangin on upside down but no one can get him out. The Rock gets a lightening flurry of stomps on Blackman while 8-Ball hits a closeline on D-lo. D-lo and the Rock work together until D-lo unloads on The Rock.

Entrant Number Twelve is Kurrgan. Kurrgan no sells everyones offence before choking Bradshaw. Kurrgan powers Mosh over the top rope with ease. Mosh is eliminated. Blackman hits a karate kick to the head of Kurrgan but he no sells it and gives Blackman a knee smash.

Entrant Number Thirteen is Marc Mero. Mero unloads on Blackman with some boxing jabs. Bradshaw tries a chop on Kurrgan but he no sells. Kurrgan then tosses Blackman. Steve Blackman is eliminated. Blackman and Funk have a fun exchange where they exchange jabs and Funk looks like a drunk old man. Mero body slams D-lo.

Entrant Number Fourteen is Ken Shamrock. Ken unloads with a series of kicks on Kurrgan and finally a spin kick takes Kurrgan down. Then all the people in the ring work together to eliminated Kurrgan. Kurrgan has been Eliminated. Mero unloads with more boxing shots on Shamrock. The Rock gets an elbow drop on Funk.

Entrant Number Fifteen is Thrasher. D-lo chokes the Rock and mocks Rocky while he does it. Bradshaw kills Trasher with a closeline. The crowd start a big "Sable" chant. Marc Mero dances around the ring until 8-ball unloads on him with a back club. D-lo gives Godwin a ten punch in the corner.

Entrant Number Sixteen is Mankind. The commentators are annoyed to see Foley again. Mick goes straight for Funk and unloads with a series of right hands and one huge punch sends Funk tumbling over the top rope, another brilliant effort from Funk. Terry Funk has been Eliminated. Mosh suplexes Bradshaw while Shamrock unloads on the Rock in the corner.

Entrant Number Seventeen is Goldust. Foley goes straight after Goldust and unloads in the corner. The ring is very crowded and its brawling all round. Mero plays to the crowd in the corner and gets distracted by Sable. Goldust closelines Mankind from behind and he falls over the top rope. Mankind has been eliminated.

Entrant Number Eighteen is Jeff Jarrett. Jeff struts to the ring. Owen Hart charges the ring and absolutely unloads on Jeff Jarrett. Owen gets Jeff in a mount and absolutely pounds the crap out of Jarrett. Owen gives Jeff a hard Irish whip and a spinning heel kick. The Rock has Ken in a sleeper. Jeff tries to toss Owen but Owen skins the cat and tosses Jeff Jarrett and he goes absolutely flying.

Entrant Number Nineteen is Honky Tonk Man. The Rock tosses Ken Shamrock. Ken Shamrock has been Eliminated. Hunter and Chyna come to ringside. Chyna swings a crutch but Owen catches the Crutch adn Hunter kills Owen with a crutch sending Owen over the top where they smash Owen with crutches. Owen Hart has been eliminated.

Entrant Number Twenty is Ahmed Johnson. Johnson very slowly makes his way to the ring and he unloads with a series of right hands. He looks so out of shape. We go to a replay of Shamrock's elimination and we see that it was a low blow that led to Ken's elimination.

Entrant Number Twenty One is Mark Henry. Henry goes straight after Ahmed Johnson and unloads with some big clubbing blows. The Rock and Bradshaw are really going at it in an intense slugfest. Its a very crowded Rumble right now. Henry throws powder in Ahmed's eyes and after a horrible sloppy toss is eliminated. Ahmed Johnson is Eliminated.

Entrant Number Twenty Two is ???? Phideous Godwin is tossed and brawls with Ahmed Johnson. Phideous Godwin is Eliminated. D-lo then goes straight for Mark Henry and unloads with a stump puller.

Entrant Number Twenty Three is Kama Mustafa. Kama introduces 8-ball to the top turnbuckle. Kama and D-lo unload on one another in the corner. 8-Ball holds Henry back and Marc Mero unloads. It is very very crowded right now.

Entrant Number Twenty Four is Stone Cold Steve Austin. The everyone in the ring faces the entrance and Austin comes from behind and tosses Marc Mero and then 8-Ball. Marc Mero and 8-Ball are Eliminated. Austin then low blows D-lo and chokes him with his jacket.

Entrant Number Twenty Five is Henry Godwin. Henry goes straight after Austin and unloads. Kama and D-lo high five before Kama kills D-lo with a right hand. It has really slowed down right now.Rock and Kama have a slugfest.

Entrant Number Twenty Six is Savio Vaga. Los Baricuous are with him and Savio accidently spin kicks one of then and Austin kicks the crap out of them and sends them flying Austin goes for a stunner on Vega but he rolls to aviod it. Austin punts Goldust in the balls and then stomps on his grain. Bradshaw hits a pump handle slam and then an elbow drop.

Entrant Number Twenty Seven is Farooq. The Rock tosses Austin through the middle rope. Farooq unloads on all of the members of the nation. The Rock and Austin brawl on the outside and the Rock Irish whips Austin into the steel steps and Rock lays in some boots. The Rock then drops Austin throat first on the guard rail.

Entrant Number twenty Eight is Dude Love. Dude dances and shoves Bradshaw over the top rope. Bradshaw has been eliminated. Austin throws Goldust into the steel steps and then gives Henry a jaw Jacker before closelinign Goldust on the outside. The Rock hits the People's Elbow on D-lo before Austin unloads on him and gives him a rope rider and the Rock falls under the bottom rope.

Entrant Number Twenty Nine is Chainz. Dude love barely hangs on while Goldust and Savio unload on Austin in the corner. Mick lays in the boots to Savio while Austin has him in a chinlock. Farooq is now beating the crap out of the Rock.

Entrant Number Thirty is Vader. Vader goes straight for Goldust and gives him the Vader strike. Vader then tosses Honky over the top rope. Honky Tonk Man has been Eliminated. Chainz stands on Austin's throat. Vader hits a Vader strike on the Rock. Austin back body drops Thrasher and then Kama. Kama and Thrasher have been Eliminated. Austin stomps a mud hole in Henry Godwin. Austin counters Savio's piledriver with a back bodydrop. Austin dodges a spin kick and he tosses Savio with ease, on the other side of the ring Goldust eliminates Vader, Dude low bridges Henry Godwin and Goldust gets tossed. Savio Vega, Goldust, Henry Godwin and Vader have been Eliminated. Farooq tosses Mark Henry and so is Chainz. Mark Henry and Chaiz have been eliminated.

Mick and Austin work together to whip the heels into each other. Dude gives the Rock Sweet shin Music and the double arm DDT, Mick locks the Mandible claw on Austin but Austin low blows Foley and Farooq closelines Foley over the top rope. Dude Love has been Eliminated. The Rock sits down and lets Farooq deal with Austin. The Rock sneaks up and tosses Farooq from behind Farooq has been eliminated. The Rock and Austin have an all mighty slugfest a preview of things to come, Rock side steps Rock and tosses him but Rock lands on the apron and sneak attacks Austin while he's celebrating, but Autin blocks and scores with the Stone Cold Stunner and tosses the Rock with ease. The Rock is Eliminated and Stone Cold Steve Austin is your Royal Rumble Winner.

We then get an interview with a very happy Mike Tyson who loves "Cold Stoned".

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Shawn dodges a wild slug from taker and unloads with a lightening flurry of jabs. Taker grabs Shawn by the throat and throws him into the corner but HBK unloads with another flurry of Jabs. HBK tries a ten punch but gets shove down hard twice. Shawn fights out of a comes off the second rope but in a brilliant spot HBK catches Michaels by the throat and powers HBK into the air. HBK slips out but runs straight into a military press after a botch HBK slips out and is then back body dropped back first onto the edge of the casket, we all know what that did.

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Taker follows HBK outisde and big boots HBK into the casket HBK scrambles and runs out of the casket. Taker introduces HBK to the ringpost and then gives Shawn a military press. HBK returns to the ring dodges a closeline floats over Taker but runs into a huge right hand. Taker then scores with a huge body slam but misses an elbow drop. HBK gets an arm wrench but Taker immediately reverse and gets a series of shoulder thrusts before hitting the arm wrench and rope walk of doom which HBK promptly oversells. Taker gets his big punch flurry in the corner which HBK sells superbly. Taker then gives HBK a hard Irish whip and Shawn does the HBK flip and crahsed to the outside.

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HBK gets Taker with a jaw jacker and then comes off top with a flying cross body but Taker counters into a powerslam. Taker rolls HBK into the caket, Taker slams the slid but HBK has one hand poking out. HBK throws powder into Taker's eyes but Taker slugs down Michaels with a huge right hand. Taker goes for a huge chokeslam but HBK gets an eye rake and then scores with a moonsault press, this is superb stuff. HBK then closelines Taker over the top rope and skins the cat but Taker pulls Shawn straight out.

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Taker introduces HBK to the guard rail and then the announce table, Shawn returns the favour by showing Taker knee first into the steel steps. HBK then lifts the steel steps and crashes them repeatedly onto Taker's back. HBK then gives the Undertaker a brutal piledriver onto the steel steps and the crowd are shocked and so am I. Triple H then clobbers Undertaker with his crutch and then chokes Taker with it. Triple H then pokes Taker in the ribs and clubs him over the back with the crutch. HBK then nails Taker in the back with a steel chair and tells the fans to suck it. HBK then plays to the crowd in the ring.

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Shawn drags Taker into the ring and scores with a flying reverse elbow and a leaping stomp to the face of Taker. HBK rolls Taker into casket but Taker hits a monster throat thrust from within the casket that sends HBK flying over the top rope. Taker then slugs down Triple H. HBK counters a back body drop with a swinging neck breaker and then he jumps on Taker's back and applies a sleeper and Taker begins to fade. The crowd come to life in and big way. Taker fights up and hits a huge back suplex and both men are down.

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Taker sits up and HBK hits the flying forearm and kips up, HBK then heads to the top rope for the Picture Perfect Elbow Drop and he scores with it. HBK goes to the corner to a chorus of Boos and tunes up the Band. HBk then absolutely kills Taker with Sweet Chin Music and that sucks the life out of the crowd. HBK stands over Taker in the casket and tells Taker to suck it, and TAKER GRABS HBK BY THE BALL AND THROWS HIM OvER THE TOP ROPE.

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Taker scores with a big back body drop, he throws Shawn to the corner for HBK flip and follows it with a big closeline and a big boot. HBK dodges Taker's flipping Lariat and Taker rolls into the Casket. HBK then hits a flying elbow drop off top into the casket and the lip closes. Then in a great visual Shawn tries to crawl away but Taker drags him back in the casket. Taker then slugs HBK and he falls out of the casket with another great bump. Taker then hits the biggest Chokeslam ever (well until the one at this years Mania). Taker then hits a leaping Tombstone into the casket!

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DX adn the Los Baricqous run out and beat the holy shit out of Taker in a nod to the Yokozuna casket match. The lights go out and Kane's music hits and the crowd goes absolutely mental. Kane walks passed chyna and he kills everyone in the ring with right hands. Leaving just Kane and Taker in the ring. DX pulls Shawn out of the casket. Kane makes his pose and the unloads on the Undertaker kicking the holy crap out of Taker, Kane then chokeslams Taker into the casket and HBK closes the lid.

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Post Match: Kane locks Taker in the casket and drags it up the ramp. Kane returns with an axe and smashes the fuck out of the casket. Kane breaks through and then pours Gasoline into and all over the casket and then set it on fire, Kane puts two fingers up to the Casket. Agents the break open the casket to reveal an empty casket. Taker's voice comes over the P.A saying that until are paths cross again I shall never rest in peace.

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