Daveportivo's Cultural Evaluation Facility

Well this should be alot better than last years Beverly Brothers match. Scott tries a single leg takedown but Bo grabs onto the ropes. Scott spins into a key lock leg trip and bo complains about hair pulling. Its a okay start but its a five star classic compared to that Bushwhackers atrocity last year. Scott scores with a hip toss out of the corner and Bo again complains about hair pulling. Bo gets a hair drag takedown. Scott scores with a slightly sloppy tilt-a-whirl powerslam. The Beverly Brothers bail and complain about tight pulling. Bo gets in Rick's face so Scott tags him in. Rick shoves Blake off the apron and charges Bo into the corner. Bo introduces Rick to the turnbuckle before scoring with a powerslam. Rick dodges a closeline and counters a leapfrog into a nice powerslam. Scott in and he catches Bo in a bearhug and then turns it into a brutal overhead belly to belly suplex. Blake rus in and nails Scott with a closeline. Bo scores with a backbreaker and tags in Blake who scores with a second rope axe handle. Blake scores with a backbreaker for two. Bo holds down Scott and Blake scores with a diving headbutt. The ref is distracted and Blake chokes Scott with the tag rope. Double arm suplex gets two. Bo comes in with a snapmare and the crowd comes to life. Bo cinches in a boston crab, Scott is about to break it when Blake comes in and scores with an elbow drop. Scott blocks a suplex and scores with one of his own. The Beverlys stop Scott making the hot tag. Blake scores with a second rope knee drop. Scott counters a back body drop with a butterfly bomb. HOT TAG! Rick scores with a nice back body drop and a killer realese German suplex. Rick dodges a double closeline and gives each man a closeline. Scott comes in and goes for a ten punch but the Beverlys counter and go for a Doomsday Device but as the flying closeline comes in Scott ducks and scores with a victory roll for two. Scott then scores with the Frankenstiener and Bill Alfonso counts the three, Scott dumped him right on his head.

We go to a recap of the Rocker's break up, which occured just before last years Rumble leading to this years Match. We see the Epic scenes of Jannetty and Sherri going face first through mirrors.

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Sensational Sherri walks down to ringside but its unclear who she is siding with. Sherri won't join Shawn when he asks. Shawn shoves Jannetty but Marty floors him with one punch, they run around the ring but Marty scores with a matt slam. Marty gives Shawn a hard Irish whip and we get the HBK corner spot and Jannetty follows up with an inverted atomic drop and a running knee lift sends Shawn flying over the top rope. Marty slingshots Shawn back in and then closelines him out the ring the otherside and follows up with a suicide dive. Jannetty comes off top with a flying right hand and Michaels does a monster oversell. Jannetty tries it again and Shawn catches him with a jumping punc of is own. Shawn lifts Marty up and runs him shoulder first into the ringpost. He then whips Marty shoulder first into the ringpost and mocks the crowd. Shawn Micheals scores with a shoulder breaker. Shawn works over Jannetty's arm. Marty tries to escape but Shawn chases him and gives him an axe handle to the shoulder. Shawn gives Marty a body slam on the outside. Shawn gets an armwrench and then puts Marty in a hammerlock and runs Jannetty into the top turnbuckle. Shawn comes off the top rope with a flying axe handle onto the injured shoulder. Shawn sits on Marty's back with a armbar. Marty fights up but Shawn comes back with a single arm DDT for two. Shawn gets an arm wrench and jumps down on the arm. Marty tries a wild swing but Shawn just cockily dodges it. Shawn tries arm wrenches but Jannetty keeps landing rights. Shawn scores with a body slam and goes to the second turnbuckle but Marty catches him with a boot. Shawn runs into an elbow and then misses a blind charge and hits the steel ringpost shoulder first. Marty unloads with a series of big shots but Shawn manages to uses Marty's tights to pull him to the outside. Shawn then tries to suplex Marty in but Jannetty blocks and suplexes Michaels to the outside in a nice spot. Sherri bitch slaps Shawn Micheals on the outside and the crowd pops huge. Marty gives Shawn a back suplex off the apron and into the ring for a near fall. Marty then whips Shawn into the corner and its the Harley race bump to the outside. Marty throws Shawn into the steps. Shawn dodges a closeline but runs right into a powerslam. Marty goes up to but Shawn rolls out the way so Jannetty lands on his feet and scores with a DDT for a mega near fall. HBK misses a superkick and Jannetty scores with one for a mega nearfall. They do a pin counter sequence and then Jannetty catapults Shawn headfirst into the ringpost and a roll up gets a mega nearfall. The ref goes down and Marty holds Shawn back and Sherri accidently nails Jannetty with the shoe. Shawn gets in Sherri's face and waits for Marty to get to his feet before Shawn nails Jannetty with the Sweet Chin Music and Jannetty totally oversells it and that gets three. Sherri runs to the backstage area.

Sherri is hysterical backstage, Shawn runs back to get in her face and Marty comes from nowhere and brawls with Shawn.

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Bigalow jumps the Bossman and then scores with an avalanche in the corner. Bam Bam scores with a hard Irish whip. Bigalow scores with another Hard Irish whip and then knocks the Bossman to the outside. Bossman dodges a closeline and then scores with two of his own to takedown Bam Bam. Bossman scores with a series of fist from a mount. Bossman scores with a ten punch in the corner. Bossman gets his cartoony side headlock but Bigalow comes back with a backsuplex but misses the driving headbuck. Bossman scores with a running elbow and then a Bulldog. Bossman charges and gets back body dropped hard over the top rope, nice sell from Bossman. Bigalow kicks him in the back and generally works over the back era with axe handles. Bigalow does a Backwards Bearhug but Bossman breaks out and charges but this time Bigalow flapjacks Bossman into the top rope. Bam Bam goes back to the reverse bearhug. This bearhug is very long and very gay like watching two beached whales. Bigalow goes for a suplex but its blocked and Bossman scores with a suplex but his back buckles half way. Bigalow scores with a headbutt to the back. Bigalow scores with a shoulderblock, Bossman dodges a crossbody and socres with a back body drop. Bossman scores with the monster uppercut and the rope rider. He then slides to the outside for the Bossman uppercut. Bossman strolls into a boot and Bigalow follows up with a diving clolseline. Bigalow scores with the top rope headbutt for the win.

We go to footage of Razor Ramon attacking Owen Hart. We then go to a prerecorded interview with Razor saying he has gold around his neck, on his arms and tomorrow he'll have gold around his waist.

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Razor throws his tooth pick at the kid that Bret gave his glasses to. Bret tries to jump Razor but Razor kills him in slug fest. Razor scores with a hard Irish whip. Razor then misses a high knee in the corner and Bret starts kicking Razor's leg out from under him and working over the leg. Bret applies a figure four leglock but Razor scrambles and makes the ropes. Bret kicks the legs out again and begins working over Razor's knee some more. Bret uses a leg trip and then ramns Razor's leg into the ringpost. Bret then puts Razor's leg on the middle rope and unloads on Razor. Razor gets a knee to the gut and then whips Bret stomach first into the ringpost. Razor then gives Bret two backbreakers and then a thrid against the steel post on the outside. Back in and Razor is working over Bret's back. Razor scores with his patternted fallaway slam for two. Razor scores with a chest first hard Irish whip for two. Razor then applies the abdominal stretch. This is locked in for a while Razor works the ribs in the hold. BRet counters into one of his own but Razor counters with a hip toss and then Razor misses with a elbow drop. Razor scores with a shoulder block for two. Razor throws Bret face first into the mat. Razor lays in some bitch slaps, but Bret comes back with a crossbody for two. Bret goes for sunset flip but Razor sits down on it for two but Bret then hooks the arms for two. Razor now goes to a camel clutch that's obviously too exciting so he switches to a bearhug, Bret quickly fades and quickly recovers. Bret bites his way out. Razor charges and Bret back body drops Scott to the outside. Bret follows up with a suicide dive and then introcudes Razor to the ring steps. Back in, Bret tries a ten punch but keeps getting shoved off. Bret throws some bombs. It takes about ten to floor Razor. Bret scores with an inverted atomic drop and a closeline for two. Bret scores with the backbreaker. Then the second rope flying closeline for two. The bulldog and that gets two. Bret follows up with a side russian legsweep for two. Bret then goes for the sharpshooter but Razor scrambles to ropes Bret pulls him back in and tries to lock it in but Razor pulls Earl Hebner into Bret to break the attempt. Razor lays in some gut punches and puts Bret on top, Bret spins off top and scores with a back suplex and then goes to the second rope but is met with a boot. Razor calls for the Razor's Edge but Bret counters to a backslide for a near fall. Razor is up first and starts kicking Bret in the guts. Razor has Bret in a knucklelock and then tosses Bret hard into the corner. Razor slaps Bret around and puts Bret back in the knucklelock Bret counters very nicely into a pin for a nearfall and then Bret counters the kick out into the sharpshooter for the win.

We then get the unvailing of the Narcisist Lex Luger, Bobby Heenan can't pronounce his nickname properly. He's in front of a triple mirror and is eyeing himself up. Its mega gay.

Its really long, god what is it with Royal Rumble and gay segments. Lex says he's incredible, he's the most dominant force the WWE has ever seen, all other wrestlers will bow down before him because he is beyond perfection. Lex says everyone is impressed but the most impressive thing is when he steps in the ring, if Mr. Perfect has the guts to take the challenge. Bobby says this is the highlight of his career.

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We then get Ceaser and Cleopatera, well the show was going so well up until the end of that Hart match its all got very camp. Ceasar reads a lame proclaimation about Wrestlemania coming to Caesars place to the joy of no one.

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Entrant Number One is Ric Flair. Entrant Numble Two is Bob Backlund. Well that's a good an interesting first two. Ric combs his hair and does some stylin and profilin rather than shaking hands. Bob Backlund scores with a running shoulderblock, and another and then two running leg trips and he's all fired up. Flair scores with an eye poke and its knife edged chopping time, Bob comes back with a hard Irish whip and a back body drop, leading to the Bob Backlund stalling atomic drop and a Flair Flop. Entrant Number Three is Papa Shango. He goes to work on both men. Shango gets a series of headbutts of Bob before Flair tosses him like a bitch. Papa Shango is Eliminated. Flair then nearly tosses Bob and lays the boots in. Flair is more over as a face than Bob. Slug and chopfest, Bob gets a hard Irish whip and Flair begs off, Bob is wrestling a bit awkward. Entrant Number Four is Ted Dibiase. Ted scores with a back elbow and unloads on Backlund. They try rumbly stuff to toss Bob but of course fail. Flair and Ted score with a double back elbow but still can't toss Bob. Uninspiring stuff. Entrant Number Five is Brian Knobbs. Knobbs gets the double closeline and unloads on Ted and Flair. Knobbs then gives Flair and Ted a noggin knocker and tosses Flair but Ric does a really dramatic job of hooking his foot on the top rope, the crowd were into that big time. Knobbs introduces Ted to the rinpost as Bob scores with a ten punch on Flair. Entrant Number Six is Virgil. Ted goes straight to work on Virgil. Virgil scores with an invert atomic drop and then gets a jab and closeline combo. Knobbs and Virgil get a double back body drop on Ted. Knobbs charges Ted but gets lowbridged out. Brian Knobbs is Eliminated. Bob gets a weird wishbone splitter on Flair. Flair catches Bob on the second rope and unloads with some Brutal shots, Bob's selling is very weak. Entrant Number Seven is Jerry Lawler. Flair and Lawler just viciously unload on each other and Flair bails out under the bottom rope. Flair kicks the leg out of Virgil but Jerry saves Virgil from elimination. Its Rumble stuff all round. Entrant Number Eight is Max Moon. Moon scores with a dropkick but Jerry catches him with an eye poke on the way down. Moon gives Flair a hard Irish whip and a back body drop. Flair tosses Moon but he skins the cat and unloads on Flair. Moon introduces Jerry to the turnbuckle. Moon scores with the running leg lariat in the corner on Lawler he tries it again and Jerry dodges and Moon flies to the floor. Max Moon is Eliminated. Entrant Number Nine is Tenaru. He runs straight at Flair and they have a big stiff shot exchange. Ric slingshots Virgil back into the ring. Entrant Number Ten is Mr. Perfect. He and Flair charge right at each other and Perfect beats the crap out of Flair, monster knee lift that Flair sells huge. Flair gets an eye poke and tries to go up top but Perfect press slams him off top and Perfect follows up with a neck whip. Flair begs off and gets a knee, and then Perfect and Flair exchange super stiff chops in the corner. Perfect gets a ten punch in the corner. Entrant Number Eleven is Skinner. Well that kills teh momentum Flair and Perfect had built up dead. Flair misses a knife edged chop on Perfect and Perfect sloppily closelines him out and Ric is Mega pissed on the outside. Ric Flair is Eliminated. That was great stuff but the momentum has gone with Flair and Perfect is stuck brawling with Skinner, they botch a bulldog spot. Entrant Number Twelve is Koko B. Ware. Koko unloads with headbutts on eaveryone. Ted goes for a suplex but its broken up. Koko gets a ten punch on Jerry in the corner. Perfect tosses Skinner but he skins the cat and comes back in so Perfect just dropkicks him out. Skinner is Eliminated. Koko scores with a second rope axe handle on Ted. Entrant Number Thirteen is Samu. Tenaru scores with an enzenguri on Perfect and Jerry scores with a second rope axe handle. Ted scores with a knee lift on Virgil. Jerry scores with a DDT on Virgil. The crowd has gone flat the storyline heat needs to be picked up now Flair's gone. Entrant Number Fourteen is The Berserker. Jerry scores with some big blows on Perfect and goes to closeline him out but Perfect back body dropped him out. Ted then throws everything at Perfect to get him out about six knees and two men kick and Jerry pulls from the outside to get Perfect out. Jerry and Perfect brawl on the outside. Jerry Lawler and Mr. Perfect are Eliminated. That was some really good action. Entrant Number Fifteen is The Undertaker. He's the big entrant the crowd were waiting for. The Berserker and Backlund brawl to the outside where the Berserker nails him with two chair shots and a body slam. Taker tosses Samu. Samu is Eliminated. Tenaru scores with an enzenguri and charges Taker but is back body dropped to the outside. Tenaru is Eliminated. The Beserker misses a shoulder block and hits the top turnbuckle. Entrant Number Sixteen is Terry Taylor. Ted Dibiase immediately tosses Koko B. Ware and Terry Taylor, Undertaker then chokslams Undertaker and tosses Ted. Koko B. Ware, Terry Taylor & The Undertaker are Eliminated. Taker back body drops The Berserker out. The Berserker is Eliminated. Harvey Wippleman brings out the Gian Hernandez and he has a star down with the Undertaker and he chops Undertaker over the top rope. The Undertaker is Eliminated. Hernandez beats Taker back to the outside, Whipping Undertaker shoulderfirst over the ringsteps. Entrant Number Seventeen is Damian Demento. Damien won't get in the ring and leaves Taker and Hernandez to fight it out. Hernandez chokeslams the Undertaker and then works over his leg on the ringpost. Entrant Number Eighteen is IRS. IRS doesn't get in the ring either, a tonne of refs and agents come to try and get Hernandez to leave and he does eventually to a huge round of boos. Back in the rumble, Taker is trying to sit up and Demento and IRS stomp the tar out of Backlund. Taker is just lying dead in the corner. Entrant Number Nineteen is Tatanka. Paul Bearer comes out with the urn and that just about manages to help Taker struggle to the back. Well that was fun and it help us ignore the horrible lack of over wrestlers in the ring. Back in the Rumble its lame Rumble stuff all round. Entrant Number Twenty is Jeremy Saggs. He comes in and does nothing specail. IRS scores with an inverted atomic drop on Tatanka. IRS gives Saggs some shoulder blocks in the corner, Saggs come back with a jaw breaker. Saggs scores with a horrible closeline on IRS. This match has died a death and the crowd haven't recovered from the Taker angle. This entrant needs to be good. Entrant Number Twenty One is Typhoon. Typhoon scores with a series of avalanches of Demento. IT IS JOBBER CITY, IRS and Tatanka excluded but come on this is hardly star power. Its total arse action all round and the crowd are muttering and distracted. Typhoon scores with a choke lift on Demento, now that's a sentance I never want to write. Entrant Number Twenty Two is Fatu. Great Rikishi, its more jobbers. Fatu scores with a thrust kick on Typhoon. "I knew it would be good but nothing like this" Bobby Heenan have you lost your mad Damien Demento is wrestling Typhoon. Seriously I wish they'd give me something to write about. Thankfully legend Bob Backlund score swith a stump puller. Entrant Number Twenty Three is Earthquake. Earthquake and Typhoon hit each other with closelines and shoulderblocks, Typhoon gets a series of Avalanches. Earthquake dodges an Avalanche and Typhoon is gone. Typhoon is Elimanted. Man Yokozuna cannot get to the ring soon enough in my book. Entrant Number Twenty Four is Carlos Carlon. Gorrilla just called Carlos a youngster. The crowd don't care one little bit. Demento is nearly eliminated but comes back under the bottom rope. Carlso Colon back body drops Demento out of the ring, at last. Damien Demento is Eliminated. Bob Buckland fights off Earthquake to a splattering of cheers. Entrant Number Twenty Five is Tito Santana. Tito comes in and doesn't do much. Backlund and IRS toss Fatu. Fatu is Eliminated. Bob is doing a great job of selling how tired he is, wait he's not selling. This is seriously lame action all round. Entrant Number Twenty Six is Rick Martel. Martel and Santana as is customary go right after one another. Tito gives Rick ten head pounds. Earthquake then low brides IRS and he's gone. IRS is Eliminated. Entrant Number Twenty Seven is Yokozuna. YES! Finally kill the jobbers. Tatanka and Yoko exchange chops before Yoko tosses him Tatanka is eliminated. Yoko tosses Carlos but he lands on the apron and Yoko swats him off the apron. Carlos Colon is Eliminated. Yoko and Earthquake go face to face and the crowd go apeshit. Entrant Number Twenty Eight is Owen Hart. Earthquake hits Yoko with everything including the avalanche but it doesn't faze him. Yoko dodges another avalanche and he belly to bellys Earthquake over the top rope. Earthquake is Eliminated. El Matador is the next to try Yoko but Yoko hits him with a god awful shoulder block. Entrant Number Twenty Nine is The Repo Man. The crowd don't care. Yoko kills Repo with one headbutt. Its Rumble action all round. Four Men try to Everyone tries to toss Yoko and the crowd come to there feet but they can't do it and Yoko swats them all away. Saggs jumps on Yoko's back. Entrant Number Thirty is Randy Savage. Savage is back from retirement I think. He goes straight for Repo and kicks the crap out of him. Yoko tosses Tito. Tito Santana is Eliminated. Owen dropkicks Saggs out of the ring. Jeremy Saggs is Eliminated. Owen Hart skins the cat and then charges Yoko and takes a nasty bump to the outside. Randy then tosses Repo. Owen Hart and Repo Man are Eliminated.

Not much is happening? Still? Yep believe me. Buckland suplexes Martel onto the top rope and then slugs Martel off the top rope. Rick Martel is Eliminated. Bob scores with two dropkicks and then charges Yoko and is tossed, to a round of huge boos. Bob Backlund is Eliminated.Fuji comes to ringside waving the Japanese flag. Yoko just chokes Savage doing nothing particularly interesting. This goes on for a while. Savage kicks and slugs away at Yoko but can't move him. Savage scores with a jab combo and a closeline has him rocking on the ropes. Savage scores with bombs away off top but it only staggers him. Savage tries again and gets Yoko down to one knee, The crowd are going apeshit. Savage runs right into a thurst kick to suck the life out of the crowd. Yoko follows up with a side belly to belly and a legdrop. Yoko just takes his time pounding Savage. Yoko scores with a running arse thump in the corner, Yoko then goes for it a second time and Yoko goes down, Savage scores with the Picture Perfect Elbow drop and goes for the pin? What? Really? Yoko then power kicks out Sending Savage over the top rope. Randy Savage is Eliminated and Your Royal Rumble Winner is Yokozuna.

Well its just incredibly noticable the lack of major league talent or over superstars in the Rumble. The Steiners and Shawn could have done with being in the rumble to help it out. It started solidly with Flair, Backlund, Dibiase and Lawler providing some nice action and really picked up from there when Flair and Perfect went toe to toe, however when Flair went the momentum died, there were no fueds to play off and Perfect went soon after. Taker's elimination fest and the arrival of Hernandez was a pretty spectacular spectatle but once they left it was twenty minutes of pure jobber or low midcard talent and only really picked up in the closing few minutes with the Yoko Savage battle. Weak Rumble. (**3/4)

Overall Thoughts: A strong undercard but lame Rumble, the undercard somewhat makes up for the Rumble but not enough. This is after all the Rumble and if the one hour plus attraction match isn't particularly good then neither is the show. It just exposed the lack of big name talent in the WWE at the time, even with Savage on the card it lacked any real star power. Savage would go to commentary, Flair would leave the next night, and Hogan wasn't around, nor was Warrior. It just didn't feel special even if it set the Wrestlemania title shot tradition.