Daveportivo's Cultural Evaluation Facility

Okay so I reviewed this track and month back but I'll give it a brief once over one more time. It's built on a gorgeous fuzz baseline, the guitars are set to evil brooding sea shanty, and Alex Turner is talking about sweets as aphrodesiacs. It's a groovy and brilliant. It will turn many fans off, but this is a big step forward, the Monkeys are now legitimate songsmiths. It doesn't compare to the albums three highlights (Cornerstone, Secret Door, Jewller's Hand) but it's along way from the blander tracks (Dangerous Animals) it's a good single and a solid go between.

Dinosaur Pile Up are one of those bands you hear, and from the very first chord you know they have nothing new to offer. Everything they do is positively retrospective in one way or another. However that said they have a great live reputation and they are very good at what they do, making fun rock songs. So it should be no suprise to hear this is a fun little rock single, just don't expect them to reinvent the wheel.

Okay so this is probably the silliest song U2 have ever written, and yes that is quite the statement to make, but I have to admit, I absolutely adore it. I always finde U2 are at their best when their being ridiculous. While Bono is just throwing out lines, some are pretentious duds "How can you stand next to the truth and not see it" yawn, but occasionally he hits on a really telling truthful line "Every beauty needs to go out with idiot" and best of all "The right to be ridiculous is something I hold dear". I rarely agree with Bono, but for once he's hit the nail firmly on the head, I'll defend his right to be ridiculous till my dying day.

Well Bob Dylan had stumbled upon a remarkable purple patch deep into his career with the beautiful trio of Love & Theft, Time Out Of Mind & Modern Times but are it seems things have dried up again with his latest effort. Jolene feels like a track that was left on the cutting room floor when they were making Modern Times. Pleasent enough, but nothing more.

So when we heard those early Hot Chip produced EPs we all got very excited about Little Boots but the album was about as exciting as a Nicholas Cage film. Remedy has incredibly slick production, and the hook is passable, but there's too much sheen and too little soul. It's not groovy enough to dance to, and Little Boots isn't enough of a diva to grab you balls. It's perfectly passable pop but I think I'll stick with Lily Allen.

It was only two years ago that the Used were absolutely everywhere but the hype has come and gone and their return has garnered little enthusiasm. Blood On My Hands builds on a slick opening riff and some big crunchy guitars, it's a big improvement on their previous work, lyrically it feels incredibly dated, and McCracken whine is as devisive as ever. Blood On My Hands is ultimately a great improvement but it's still along way from justifying why exactly we should care about The Used.

Okay when a band has earned the nickname Enter Shitkari it's always a turn off. Especially when its a rock band, moronic primitive man will always mock pop and call it shit, as if holding a guitar is the equivalent to a degree from Imperial, but when a rock band gets the universal treatment you know somethings up. I have to be honest I've never cared for Enter Shikari but I could understand why the kids would eat it up, with there whiny hooks and moshably riffs. However No Sleep Tonight is a bland boring abortion, I'm not sure if this is their attempt at a signature ballad, but whatever it is, it's awful. I would call this track pedestrian, but to be honest that seems far too kind.

Oh dear, there's nothing I like less than a Kasabian review. Everything about this track feels indebted, and dull. If this band gets any less creative they'll be Oasis.

Okay so I just had to listen to a Kasabian track so I needed cheering up. Nothing says cheering up like some good old fashion christian rock and roll brought to us by the warming and loving Disney Corperation. Well if you actually believe Disney are warm and loving then your going to adore this track, if not, it's smultzy and lame. Go download Fly On The Wall by Miley Cryus the only Disney pop creation you'll ever need.

Okay now it's time for me to broaden my horizons and this weeks review of and unfamilar artist is:

Wake Up is a complete clusterfuck, there is way too much going on, but it's performed with an earnest tongue in cheek charm that diffuses my critical faculties and I actually quite like it. Feels like an low-fi alternative to Mika. I don't think many would listen to this with any regularity but Wake Up is a lovelable one off, and it'll make you smile if it pops up on shuffle.

The Day I Died - Just Jack: Yawn.

Fire Burning - Sean Kingston: Waaaooooooo-wank.

Obssesed - Mariah Carey: The Cancerous tumur on Pop's reinvention.

Miracle - Tommy Sparks: Slightly sub parish.

Your Wish Is My Command - Bashy: Tongue in cheek fun.

Birthday Sex - Jeremih: R'n'Bollocks.