Daveportivo's Cultural Evaluation Facility

Due to the popular request of one Gareth Rhys Thomas we're going to revist the best matches and greatest moments of one of the greatest tech......oh wait sorry....one of the most hateable double murdering, son killing, testosterone jacked, psychopaths of all time. Anyway, we're going to look back at why we liked him so much in the first place, why he became the one of the most high profile names in wrestling and lets face it, one of the most loved stars in wrestling. So lets count down the top five. Again this is rated on not just wrestling quality alone but a whole host of factors, importance, memorability, influence and of course in ring awesomeness.

Honourable Mentions: Chris Benoit & Kurt Angle vs. Edge & Rey Mysterio (see top five Angle), Chris Benoit vs. Great Sasuke, Chris Benoit vs. Brock Lesnar (SD!), Eddie vs. Benoit (Vengence).


5. Chris Benoit vs. Bret Hart
(Owen Hart Tribute Match - Nitro 1999)

As some of you may know I'm not a big Bret Hart fan. Furthermore I'm not really a big fan of this match, however this top five is rated on much more than just quality, its a whole host of factors as well of my personal preference. This match makes the cut because it was a truly classy moment, two hugely popular wrestlers, wrestling a tribute to the beloved Owen and you kind of feel that this was how Owen would like to have been celebrated. We got to hear how great his pranks were on RAW and on Nitro we got a classic wrestling match, the match and the tributes on RAW are great companion peices. This was a respectful, good long match on Nitro and the best bit of this match other than the "Owen" chant was that WCW had the class to let Bret do it his way.

Anyway enough praise now its time to bitch! How fucking methodical is Bret Hart! It's hard to criticise a guy when he's honouring her brother but Owen was a great action packed fast paced wrestler so Bret puts the car in first gear for 15 minutes!!! Seriously, anyway I won't rag on this match too much as it's pretty damn good overall and great by TV standards. For Benoit fans presuming they still exist this match is great proof of just how much better Chris Benoit was as a wrestler than Bret, he sells better, his timing is better, his facial expressions are better, his intensity is better, everything he does is better. If you want to see the difference between a good wrestler and a great wrestler watch this match. My favorite part of the match was the excellent finish where Bret countered into a Sharp Shooter in an quasi-MMA fashion. A classy moment in a shitty promotion which is apart of a wider shitty industry. (***1/2)



4. Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle
(WWE World Title Match - Royal Rumble 2003)

Yep you may be thinking haven't I seen this match before and you'd be correct. This match featured in Kurt Angle's list too so I'll try and keep it short. Although both men have had many great feuds, when you say Kurt Angle the next name that comes to mind is Chris Benoit and vice versa, well until a couple of years ago anyway. Now when you say Chris Benoit murder, Nancy, Daniel, HGH and Eddie Guerrero come to mind. However I like so many others most fondly remember both Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit when they were feuding with each other, they were similar in so many ways, but most obviously that they were both insanely great wrestlers. Now as I've said before the first half of this match was methodical but good and the second half really kicked into overdrive and became and instant classic. Like most Benoit-Angle matches this one is remembered through rose tinted glasses as a five star classic, it's not that good but it is damn good, and it was their best match, their best remembered match, and the night that two of the best wrestlers took a quietish skepitical crowd and had them standing up white hot screaming their hearts out. Despite the flaws an all time classic. (****1/4)


3. The Royal Rumble 2004

This was a really great royal rumble which built around a simple but incredible effective story, who can eliminate the giant? The Big Show could not be eliminated by six men, he took finisher after finisher but eliminated RVD, John Cena, Chris Jericho and Kurt Angle after they threw everything they had at him, frog splashes, Lionsaults, Wall's of Jericho, Ankle locks, Crossfaces but no one could get him out. Show tapped three times but no one could get him over the top rope until finally Big Show was left against Number One Entrant Chris Benoit the 60 minute man who had surpased Ric Flair's 64 minute record. Benoit countered a military press with a guillotine and used leverage to eliminate Big Show in the end. This was an epic rumble, Benoit was there the whole time carrying the match with hard hitting offence and incredible selling. This Rumble had some mediocre spots but hit that perfect balance between exciting action and the interplay of feuds and storylines. The suprise entrance of Mick Foley and his brawl around the ring with Randy Orton was awesome, as was the tease of the Undertaker's return with the bell tolling distracting Kane for his elimination, ontop of that their was the run in of Brock Lesnar to eliminate Goldberg. We also got a mini Benoit-Angle match which is always awesome, some great action with JBL and a fun moment with Cena and Nunzio. Actually this match also contains the world's most devastating Spear Goldberg fucking kills Nunzio you'll never seen anything like it, he runs right threw him. At the time this was Benoit's greatest moment, his career pinnacle and the first step toward accomplishing his dream that would be fullfilled two months later. (****1/2)



2. Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho
(WWE Intercontinental Title Ladder Match - Royal Rumble 2001)

This is my third favorite ladder match of all time. Most people rate this as one of Benoit's top three matches but it will now be forever buried in ladder match history for obvious reasons. Regardless this was an utterly superb match, fuck Bret Hart Chris Benoit was the real excellence in execution, this was one of those matches were each move, spot and sequence was performed flawlessly with brilliant intensity and impact. This was a good all out ladder match it couldn't match the perfect pacing of HBK-Razor or the intelligence and unpredictablity of HBK-Jericho but it had pretty much everything else. Top class wrestling, great drama and those unforgettable spots that become ingrained in your mind, he's done it a few times now but who could forget the first time Jericho applied the Walls of Jericho atop the ladder, or when Benoit did a Swandive Headbutt off the top of the ladder and while not so iconic you'll rarely see a more brutal or impressive spot that Jericho countering Benoit's suicide dive with a steel chair shot. This was a great match and it will take one hell of a ladder match to knock this out of my top three. (****1/2)



1. Chris Benoit vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Triple H
(WWE World Heavyweight Title - Wrestlemania XX)

I'm only three lists in and I'm already repeating matches. Yep as seen in my top ten HBK matches but this time I'll give it a special spin, the Benoit spin. Unfortunately Chris Benoit is the wrestler of the decade, yep the most important and biggest wrestler of the 2000-10 era is Chris Benoit but it has absolutely fuck all to do with wrestling however back track to 2004 and Chris Benoit was the wrestler of the year, he was finally getting his time in the limelight and at his age it was undoubtably his last chance to ever be world champion. Benoit won the royal rumble and then put on this superb triple threat match, were it not for the unfortunate circumstances this would be the undisputed greatest main event in wrestlemania history. Benoit went on to put on an equally awesome match up in his hometown of Edmonton but this was the moment. The moment with the ticker tape, the moment where he stood in the centre of the ring and embraced Eddie Guerrero and the moment when every genuine wrestling fan who had to sit through Sid Vicious, Lex Luger, Kane and every other bullshit world champion, this was the moment when we sat up and said "FUCK YEAH!!!".

This was the show that proved if you work hard in life and be the best at what you do you will get your just desserts, its oh so sweet that the night when Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit won the world title was the same night Bill Goldberg got booed out of the building. The match was everything it could possibly be, it was entralling, dramatic, exciting, bloody, brutal, back and forth and had that tremdous happy ending that only wrestling can produce, the true culmination of a twenty year journey. Unfortunately this has all been ruined and I feel like a complete and utter cunt for spending two paragraphs bigging up a murdering arsehole, who ruined his legacy and unfortunately didn't save wrestling in the process, well yet anyway. (*****)

Okay once again I'm free for requests, it's Ric Flair next but then I'm open for suggestions yet again. I'm thinking of doing some abstract list Greatest Wrestlers, best promos, best tag team, worst Feuds etc....