Daveportivo's Cultural Evaluation Facility

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Erik Stevens vs. Sterling James Keenan

Stevens grabs a side headlock but Keenan reverses into a headlock of his own. Stevens then flatterns SJK with a shoulder tackle before countering a leap frog with a nice samoan drop for a near fall. Stevens lays in a series of stiff chops, SJK uses the ref to distrack Stevens and then hits a nice variation of a back breaker before laying in some boots.
SJK continues to work over Erik Stevens with little imagination before hiting a back suplex for a count of two. Keenan maintains control countering a closeline very nicely into an STO for a two count. Sterling James Keenan then locks in the Japanese strangle hold. Great like this match really needed a rest hold.
Stevens tries to break the hold by powering into the corner before flipping Keenan accross the ring. Stevens hits a series of closelines before scoring with an overhead belly to belly suplex and hitting the Choo Choo and a diving shoulder tackle off the second rope for a nearfall. Stevens says its over but SJK responds with an implant DDT for a two count. The crowd is just stone dead throughout. SJK floats over Stevens before running into a nice pop up powerslam for a near fall. Stevens goes for the Doctor Bomb but SJK cuts him off with an eye poke, SJK misses a blind charge and Stevens kills him with a german suplex, a brutal closeline and a Doctor Bomb gets the 1-2-3. “SLAP THE PORPUS FOLKS!!!”.
What? Well regardless of what Hodgewood is talking about the match was limp and stone dead for the first half really going through the motions before it picked up and Stevens managed to show case his power move set. Solid but unspectacular. (*1/4)

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Bryan Danielson is backstage with Durden and Dragon says he’s no stranger to Main Events he’s main evented accross the world, he main evented ROH first ever show, so he’s not nervous, but Austin Aries should be. He says he has the stiff kicks and the sickest submissions. He says he’s gonna show that he’s the best wrestler in the world, and show why people say he hits harder than anyone in the world. He says he has respect for Aries and he thinks Aries Respects him but tonight isn’t about respect its about proving whose the best in the world.
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Cheech and Cloudy cut a confident and charismatic promo but what they say is just terrible, the surfer, stoner gimmick is terrible, they best job fast. Dark City Fight Club are next up, there promo isn’t pretty but it gets their point accross, their black, their brutal, their Boss.
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The DCFC through Cheech to the outside before hitting a back breaker and leg drop combination on Cloudy. Chavis hits a spinning face buster before getting in the crowds face. John Davis tags in and they score with a brutal double military press for a near fall. Davis then slugs Ceech off the apron sending Ceech crashing into the barracade. Chavis tags back in but runs into a pair of boots allow Cloudy to score with a flying headscissors. Cheech tags in and droptoe holds DCFC into one another. Up in Smoke hit a combination 6-1-9 and dropkick on Chavis but this offence is short lived as DCFC hit the Powerbomb Neckbreaker combination for the 1-2-3. “SLAP THE PORPUS!!!!”
Well that was more of a traditional squash match, DCFC weren’t hugely impressive. (1/2*)

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Austin Aries is backstage and says he doesn’t care about the fans and he makes fun of Kyle Durdens dress sense. Aries talks in the third person, Aries says he has respect for Danielson so he’s wearing his lucky arm band. Austin says he is “the” star in ROH and he’s gonna prove it. His campy gimmick is really funny, not sure it’ll draw any money though.
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Chris Hero is up next to cut a promo and he’s with Sweeney, Hero gets over Young Knock Out Kid Gimmick. Hero has a new look its very campy. The tank top and pants make him really look like a jobber. Necro Butcher cuts a pretty funny promo, he’s says we might even see him at the Oscars.
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Necro Butcher vs. Chris Hero

“Let’s go Necro” chant to start the match, good to see some life in the crowd. Hero gets a kick to the gut to start the match before slapping on a side head lock. Necro won’t go down from a shoulder block or from a Yakuza kick. A big boot doesn’t work either, Necro then floors Hero with a huge right and then unloads. Necro gets the running big foot. Necro goes for the Tiger Driver but Larry Sweeney distracts Necro allowing Hero to hit the roaring elbow for a near fall.
Butcher is thrown to the outside where Sweeney and Del Ray lay in the boots on Necro. Hero expose the concrete floor and hits a senton back splash. Sweeney puts his hand on a fan at ringside. Hero rolls Necro back in but Necro is too close to the ropes for a pinfall. Hero tells Necro to get up. Del Ray gets in the face of the crowd at ringside.Necro does some horrible sells as Hero slugs him down and a cocky pin gets a two count. Hero locks on a cavat but Necro begins to fight back but Hero catches him with a mega sloppy elbow strike. Necro comes back and scores with a back body drop and a terrible Flair flurry in the corner. Necro follows up with a running bulldog for a two count. Hero responds with a big elbow strike and a running elbow strike in the corner. Hero comes off the second rope with a nice Block Buster for a two count. Necro comes back with a big slug but runs straight into a diving Yakuza kick.
Necro Butcher bumps to the outside and throws a chair at Chris Hero. Necro then hits the chair assisted body slam. The crowd finally come to life as Necro rolls Hero back into the ring. Sweeney distracts Necro butcher and runs him around the ring. Hero puts on the loaded elbow pad and then promptly counters the Tiger Driver with the Roaring elbow for the win.
As J.R. would say that was bowling shoe ugly. (*1/4)

Necro walks to the back as the crowd chant “Where’s his Oscar”.

Danielson’s entrance just isn’t the same with out his theme music. Danielson plays to the crowd to start the match up, Aries just looks camp and cocky in the corner until the crowd chants “Your gonna get your Fucking Head Kicked In” and Austin tease walking away.
They lock up and wrestle to a clean break in the ropes. Danielson gets a standing switch but Aries counters with a waist lock takedown and then gives Dragon another clean break. They go to a test of strenght and Aries grabs a side headlock before scoring with a shoulder tackle and playing to the crowd. Aries unleashes a pair of quick arm drags before cinching in an arm bar. Dragon rolls and bridges to counter before scoring with a dropkick to break the hold. Danielson grabs an arm wrench before Aries flips and kips into a firemans carry but Danielson gets a headscissors, Danielson counters the headstand and bridges up into a back slide, Aries rolls out and tries a kick of death but Danielson dodges and we have a stand off. Solid tense start.
Aries is really playing the super villian well. Danielson gets a drop toe hold and goes after the arm, Aries struggles to the ropes to avoid the Woah Woah Woah surfboard. Danielson slides but can’t get a hold of Aries. Aries lays in a hard elbow strike and then side steps Danielson. Dragon gets a sunset flip from the apron but Aries rolls straight through and hits a nice dropkick. Aries follows up with a double stomp to the face of Danielson. Aries hits a shoulder tackle but runs into an arm wrench, Danielson then slaps on a brilliant cross arm breaker which Aries sells excellently and scrambles to the ropes.
While the referee was talking to Danielson Aries catches Dragon with a brutal cheap shot. Aries hits a back elbow and a nice elbow drop for a two count. Aries then lays a knee in to the back of Danielson, and Aries goes to the NERVE PINCH!!! Why is this in Aries otherwise awesome arsenal? Danielson fights up quickly and unloads but Aries counters a kick with the knee breaker and back suplex combo sending Danielson over the top rope hard. Aries immediately follows up with the heat seeking missile and plays to the crowd. Great action.
Aries rolls Danielson back into the ring and gets a two count before applying the arm bar and fish hook of doom. Aries misses a campy blind charge but he regains his composure and hits a back rake. Dragon avoids the running dropkick and Danielson unloads with a flurry of European uppercuts and then a nice kitchen sink. Danielson hits a hard spinal tap for two and then its an over the shoulder arm breaker. Dragon flips over Aries and hits the diving Lariat and then the Butterfly suplex and crossarm breaker combo but Aries scrambles to the ropes. Danielson reminds the ref that he has until five. Dragon puts Aries on the top rope but Aries fights Danielson off and rakes his yes on the top rope.
Dragon catches Aries playing to the crowd and shoves Aries off the apron. Aries dodges a dive but Danielson fakes it and hits a brutal running Knee strike off the apron. Danielson hits the Torpedo dropkick and kips up before scoring with the Shinning Knee Wizard of death. Dragon locks in Cattle Mutiliation but Aries floats on top for a near fall.
Slugfest, Danielson hits a roaring elbow and then a high knee lariat, but when he goes for a Dragon suplex Aries lands on his feet and hits the kick of death and both men are down. Both men answer the count at nine and Aries hits the running corner dropkick for a near fall. Dragon blocks a brain buster with a knee strike, Aries tries again with the same result so Aries suprise Danielson with a front suplex and the Last Chancery. Aries throws some Knees but Dragon counters into the triangle choke, Aries tries to roll to the ropes but he can’t get anywhere and is forced to tap out.
Good action as you’d expect from these two, they didn’t go full throtle but still showed off some good action. The finish was absolutely excellent Danielson’s counter was really realistic and seemed like it came straight out of MMA. These two do the little things so well. Austin Aries the camp super villian is fast becoming my favorite act, he’s even using old school heel moves (eye rake, back rake, nevre pinch and rope eye rake) its fun stuff. Good TV Main Event. (***1/4)

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