Daveportivo's Cultural Evaluation Facility

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Okay I've not seen the TV building up to this but I've been reliably informed this is the worst most illogical TV builds ups to a PPV in along time. The Openening video package is quite good but pretty silly as per usual.

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Lauren sees Sting entering the arena but he's silent an not answering questions, he dressed as Steve Borden if you were wondering. Flithee and Grand Master Caz then open the show with a rap and the crowd are some what bemused. I thought they were just gonna do one verse but no they run through the whole track, I'd of thought they'd of runs some highlights over the top of this. The crowd slowly get into it with the chant along at the end.

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Creed gets a shoulderblock and a headlock takedown, Petey gets an arm wringer but Creed kips up, Petey misses a springboard cross body. Creed scores with a walk up elbow, Petey counters a TKO with an arm drag and Creed counters a Destroyer with leg takedown. Creed scores with a guerrilla press gut buster and follows up with a front flip plancha. Petey comes back with a apron leg drop. Petey gets a slingshot gut buster. The crowd are massively in favour of Petey. Creed unloads with a punch combo and when he does the splits Petey nails him with a dropkick and does the Steiner press ups. Big "Petey" chant. Creed slides to the apron but Petey kicks his legs out and scores with the plancharanna and play to the crowd. "Let's Go Petey", Creed comes back with a nice roll up. Petey drop kicks Creed onto the ropes and scores with a dropkick against the ropes. It's posing time. Petey gets an eye rake and Creed swings wildly. Petey scores with a hard Irish whip and Petey runs straight into a brutal superkick. Slugfest, Petey scores with a corner closeline but runs into a closeline and a back elbow. Creed is pressed onto the apron and he comes back with a springboard bulldog and this time Creed scores with the dancing combo. Petey gets the Headscissors to the Side Russian Legsweep. Creed rolls through the Destroyer but gets caught with a jaw breaker, Creed explodes with a closeline. Petey tries a slingshot but Creed counters to his finsher but Petey counters with a crucifix for two. Creed blocks a Destroyer and then flips over Petey. Creed misses a closeline but scores with a brutal enzenguri, Creed tries the Guerrilla gut buster but Petey counters it into a sharp shooter, Petey grabs the arm but he still makes the ropes, to huge boos. "Let's Go Petey" chant. Petey bitch slaps Creed and Creed says bring it on. Creed no sells the chops and Petey scores with a running lariat. Creed gets the realese German, a leaping palm strike and a high knee. Creed then nails the CreedDT and the guillotine leg drop but Petey kicks out! Kahn gets on the ring apron and tries to slap Creed so he gives her the TKO. Creed counters the Destroyer into the reverse Tombstone for two! Bashir comes down the ramp and nails Creed in the back with a chair and Petey scores with the Destroyer for the win to a massive pop.

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Shiek Abdul Bashir then cuts an anti-American promo, how passe, it would be cool if they made him a baby face.

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We are then with Joe who says he's more focussed than he'd ever been before. He's tired of the hoctus pocus. Joe said Stings biggest issue is with him. Topless Kev is backstage, looking ripped, Kev says he has his back and will keep Sting away from ringside. Kev walks off and Joe says its about Booker, he says this "wannabe indy" worker is gonna stomp his arse, and by God Joe is pro wrestling.

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ODB has a swig to start the match up. ODB then does all her dancing stuff while Love looks sickened. Sky tags in and she says ODB smells and sprays her with perfume and then mocks ODB. ODB scores with the monster low blow and a closeline. ODB then picks up the perfume and sprays her crotch. Kim tags in and unloads with a diving closeline and a second rope sunset flip for two. Kim then scores witha rope walk arm drag. Love in and Kim kills her with a japanese arm drag. Wilde tags in and love stomps the crap out of Wilde, Wilde cartwheels into an arm drag and a dropkick. Kong tags in and Wilde unloads with some kicks to the legs but runs into a body check. Kim in but she tries a cross body and gets caught and tossed. ODB comes in and wins a slugfest, the shoulder block doesn't work and ODB runs into a closeline. Kim and Wilde come in but Kong runs through the tamdem closeline and kills them with a double closeline. A high low from Kim and Wilde does the trick. Kong charges and the faces low bridge her to the outside. ODB tries to charge Kong but is tripped by Sead at ringside. Tracy Brooks then throws Sead out. Kong isn't happy and gets distracted. ODB gets the beer mist on Kong but Kong responds with a butterfly press in the corner. Velvet Sky comes in with the octopus stretch and bites the arm. We get some brilliant camera work of Sky's arse. ODB breaks the hold and we get the hot tag. Kim gets a running closeline on Love, they trade counters and Love ends up sending Kim off the apron and into the guard rail. Love scores with an elbow drop for two. Love then chokes Gail with Gail's Pony tail, that was cool. Love pounds down from a mount and then chokes Gail. Tracy pulls Love off Kim. Love scores with a hard Irish whip and gets a foot choke. The crowd pop huge everytime Sky bends over. Wilde tags in as Love and Brooks argue. Wilde gets a dropkick and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Kong tries a powerbomb but Kim runs in with an enzenguri, ODB spears Sky. Love scores with a lovely Yakuza kick on Wilde that was awesome. Wilde counters a wheel barrow move to a roll up for the win.

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Lauren is with Devon and Ray, in the rafters looking for Sting, Lauren finds out Ray is scared of Heights and Devon is scared of heights as they ask Sting for help, but he's not there.

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LAX go right after Beer Money on the outside, Hernandez whips Storm into the steel guard rail and Homicide introduces Roode to the steps. Storm comes back and whips Hernandez into the rail. Homicide scores with a flying back elbow, LAX then get the corner closeline and the shoulder charge, then it a closeline and the catpult closeline senton backbreaker combo. Hernandez then scores with the mega stalling suplex as Homicide works the crowd into a frenzy. Homicide scores with a butterfly suplex for two. Homicide noggin knocks both heels off the apron. Homicide tries a dive but is pulled out and is double closelined. Hernandez then scores with a flying press to the outside as Hernandez lands on his feet and rips his shirt the crowd go nuts. Homicide gets the overhead belly to belly suplex. Jackie spits beer into Homicide's eyes allowing Roode to score with a Lariat. Its a corner closeline combo from Beer Money followed by a neck snaper from Roode and a knee drop from Storm. Roode scores with a tilt a whirl back breaker for two. He tries it again and Homicide lands on top for two. Roode comes back with a big boot for two. Beer Money then hit the double suplex and its the pose and time to shout "Beer Money!" that triggers a huge "LAX" chant. Roode gets a droptoe hold and clubs down Homicide. Storm puts Homicide on the top rope and scores with a DDT on the hanging Homicide. "Beer/LAX" chant. Homicide dodges a closeline but runs into a high knee. Beer Money give Homicide a wishbone splitter, Roode applies a chinlock and the crowd come to life. Homicide fights out and runs right into a back elbow. Roode scores with the three Amigos and mocks Eddie and blows snot. Roode goes up top and misses the frog splash. Hernandez gets the slingshot shoulder block and unloads with closelines and back body drops. Hernandez whips the heels into each other and gives them a Stinger Splash and a cracker jack for Roode and a spine buster gets two on Storm. Roode tries a sunset flip but Hernandez powers him up. Storm scores with an Enzenguri and Roode scores with the block buster for two. Hernandez comes back with a double closeline. Homicide scores with a double torpedo dropkick, Homicide gets a snap suplex and a big splash for two. Roode blocks the 187 and scores with the double A spinebuster. Hernandez gets a reverse torture rack bomb on Storm. Homicide gives Roode a 187. Hernandez then after a bitch slap gives Homicide a Border Toss to the outside onto beer Money, THAT WAS AWESOME! Storm low bridges Hernandez and the girls brawl at ringside, Homicide goes for the Cop Killer but Roode comes in and kills Homicide with the beer bottle to the eye for the win.

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Nash is backstage with Sting he says these guys don't understand they don't know, Sting says they know, Kev says there must be another way to go about it, Sting says there is no other way to go about it.

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Well thank you Vince Russo, Dutch Mantell, Jeff Jarrett or whoever the fuck came up with this shit. Take two of your best wrestlers, chain them together to ruin their high flying, then make two men strip each other because yeah men want to cheer on two dudes ripping each other's clothes off. God it's degrading when they make the women do it why bring this to the men.

The crowd chant for Lethal at the start. A guy at ringside has a "fire russo" T-shirt. Jay doesn't put on his half of the chain instead tying it to the top rope and he unloads on Dutt as the ref tries to free the chain. Lethal keeps pounding down on Dutt. When Lethal finally decides to put the chain on Dutt decides to low blow Lethal with the chain. Dutt rips off some of Lethal's tux. The crowd chant for Lethal some more. Dutt tries a fist drop with the chain but Lethal unloads and scores with a bionic elbow and starts ripping Sonjays tux. Lethal gets a flying back elbow. Lethal tosses Dutt and follows up with a plancha. Lethal whips Dutt into the guard rail and then into the ringstep. Dutt's tux has ripped in a cool way. Dutt tries to walk away through the crowd and Lethal pulls the chain and sends Dutt into the guard rail hard. Lethal ties Dutt to the ringpost and rips away at the Guru's clothes. Small "Fire Russo" chant. Dutt scores with a stiff kick and plays to the crowd. Jay misses a charge but floors Dutt on the apron anyway. Jay then hands Dutt on the apron. Val comes up on the apron and tells Jay to stop. Val walks off to the back. While Jay is distracted by Val Dutt pulls the chain and sends Jay into the ringpost. Dutt puts Jay in the tree of Woe and removes the shirt and jacket, leaving the pants and cumberband. Lethal plays to the crowd. Dutt mocks Lethal's family. "Fire Russo" chant not particularly big but loud enough. Lethal fires back and we get a clumpsy collision. "Boring" chant, Dutt gets a back breaker and tries a slingshot move put Lethal pulls the chain and Dutt flies down hard. Lethal uses the chain sending Lethal hard into the corner. Dutt escapes half way through the Lethal combination and Jay scores with the wheel barrow bomb. We get an awkward moment and then Dutt scores with the Calcutta Cutter. BIG "Fire Russo" chant, my sentiments exactly. Dutt misses the Hindu press and Jay gets the rolling Fisherman's suplex for two. Dutt keeps hanging onto the chain so Jay can't go up top. Jay scores with the Lethal Combination and the Picture Perfect Elbow Drop for the win.

Booker T and Sharmell are backstage, Borash asks them about Sting but Booker is more interested in complaining about the crappy lockeroom. Book says he knows what Sting's agenda, they think alike, Booker think Sting has issues. Issues like Samoa Joe, Booker says Sting doesn't respect Joe. Booker calls Joe a backyard a wannabe indy worker, they must have fucked up the order of the pre recordered interviews. Booker then has a glass a champagne.

The video package for the Cage & Rhino-Dudleys match was pretty good except for one comment "four hardcore legends", seriously? Christian Cage a hardcore legend? Sorry ask New Jack if he thinks TLC matches a hardcore, not that I'd ever wanna watch a New Jack match but you get my point.

Team 3D try to jump Cage and Rhino and they soon descend into a four way brawl. Cage lays in some lame brawling on Bubba. Rhino gets a shoulderblock on Devon. Rhino blocks a hiptoss and nails Devon with a sloppy closeline. Ray misses a blind charge, Cage can't closeline Ray over and runs into a big back body drop. Ray hits Cage with a sloppy cage shot. Its all gone very 1998 on us as they brawl through the crowd. Rhino gives Devon a beer shower, that reprobate. This was revolutionary in 1996 when Sullivan-Benoit did it but it just sucks now. TNA are exposing the poor attendence. Rhino takes a crap bump down the stairs and Cage takes a dive into the crowd but you can't see how high or what he jumped into. The retards in the audience are loving, although I'm kind of hoping they do this garbage in london in January. Ray and Christian slowly make their way to ringside. Ray plays to the crowd then slugs Cage over the guard rail. Ray then gets an axe handle off the guard rail to big cheers. Rhino throws Devon into some street signs. Christian gets a sign from a fan that says "Christian use my sign" on and he does. Ray does a goofy sell. "ECW" chant. Cage and Rhino give Ray and double back drop and Devon a double suplex. Ray then kills Cage and Rhino with the street sign and plays to the crowd. Ray throws the steps into the ring and Devon runs down Rhino. Ray throws Cage on the steps and goes to the second rope. Cage catches him and bulldogs him off the second rope onto the steps. Cage nails Devon with the Detour sign. Cage misses Ray and hits the steps with a detour sign. Ray then gives Cage a Bubba Bomb off the steps in a nice spot. Ray hits Cage with a sign. Rhino hits Ray with a closeline and Devon closelines down Rhino. Devon charges Cage but he puts up a stop sign, haha, Devon turns and gets GORE!!! for a near fall. Cage hits a flying cross body on Ray for two but Ray then counters a Unprettier into an electric chair drop. Rhino then rams Devon into Ray's crotch ten times and gets a roll up for two. Devon and Rhino go to a collision spot. Cage goes for a Frankenstiener but Bubba counters with a sit out superbomb for a near fall. Ray hits Rhino with a sign. Devon gets the tables as Ray beats the crap out of Rhino with a sign. Rhino comes back with a double closeline. Rhino the nails both of Team 3D with the ladder. Cage climbs to the top of the ladder and scores with the frog splash on Ray, Rhino then GORES!!!! Ray but the table doesn't break to a round of big boos for the win.

After the match Johnny Devine runs out and clobbers Cage and Rhino but Abyss music hits and he fights off the heels and scores with a black hole slam on Devine.

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Lauren talks with AJ who thinks he's cool with Sting and he says as far as Kurt goes its personal, they wanna beat the shit out of each other. AJ says Kurt man be the better wrestler but AJ is the better man. AJ garentees he will win.

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Kurt bails when AJ tries to attack and AJ rips on Kurt. Kurt gets back into the ring and bails again. A Third time Kurt bails to big boos. Kurt spits on AJ so AJ chases him around the ring and of course he pounds AJ when he comes back in. Kurt scores with a european upercut and a snap suplex for two, Kurt locks in a chinlock? "Let's Go AJ/Let's Go Angle" chant. AJ fights up and unloads on Kurt, stomping the crap out of Kurt. Kurt gets an eye rake on AJ and an uppercut but runs straight into a nice dropkick. AJ then closelines Kurt hard to the outside. AJ then follows up with a brutal front flip Tope for a near fall. The speed on that dive was awesome. AJ throws Kurt into the guard rail and gives Kurt a big kick. AJ gets the scoop slam and the AJ knee drop. Kurt begs off and then tosses AJ through the middle ropes. Kurt then introduces AJ to the guard rail and scores with a european uppercut. Kurt tries a whip into the guard rail but AJ jumps over the guard rail and tries a springboard off the guard rail but Kurt catches him and gives him a brutal double leg suplex into the guard rail for two. That was awesome, Kurt then introduces AJ to the steel steps. Aj begins to fire back knocking Kurt's plaster off his head. Kurt tries a suplex on the ramp but AJ counters with a snap suplex on the ramp for two. AJ slugs away at Kurt on the edge of the stage but Kurt dodges a right and scores with a realese German suplex onto the concrete floor, Kurt then scores with a cannon ball off the stage onto AJ! Kurt shouts "Whose too old" fucking hell that was cool. Kurt takes AJ in a headlock to ringside and introduces AJ to the announce table. Kurt scores with a stiff kick to the ribs of AJ. Kurt scores with a back breaker for two and Kurt slaps on the chinlock. AJ fights to the corner and explodes with an enzenguri. AJ gets a leap frog and Kurt runs into the turnbuckle, AJ gets a big knife edge chop but AJ runs right into a cocky overhead release German suplex. Kurt scores with a body slam fortwo and Kurt returns to the chinlock? Come on Kurt your better than that, you've shown it through most of this match. The chinlock goes on for quite a while. AJ fights out and unloads on Kurt with a flurry of strikes. Kurt dodges a closeline and they go to the cross body collision spot. AJ unloads with a flurry of closelines, Kurt blocks a leapfrog and puts AJ on the Apron but AJ scores with the springboard shoulder block. AJ buts Kurt in the torture rack and then spins Kurt into a blue thunder bomb for a near fall! AJ calls for the Clash but Kurt counters to the Ankle Lock, AJ kicks him off and Kurt runs into a hard spinebuster. AJ goes to the Top rope but Kurt pops up AJ shoves him off and AJ goes for a Dragonranna but Kurt counters to a Powerbomb pin for two but Kurt then tries a Styles Clash but Styles counters to a Ankle Lock and the heel hook and Kurt taps. The ref gets to a count of nine hopping.

AJ tries the springboard backflip DDT but Kurt steps back and scores with a absolutely brutal low blow, Kurt then scores with the rolling German suplexes four of them with a back flip release on the last one for a near fall! Kurt takes the straps down and AJ slips out of the Angle Slam and AJ scores with the Pele and both men are down. AJ crawls over for a near fall. Kurt slugs AJ on the top rope but AJ knocks Kurt off with back elbows but Kur pops up with a release German suplex for a three count and a count of 7.

Kurt then scores with an Angle Slam for a Three count and a count of 8. Angle tries an Angle Slam but AJ counters to the Styles Clash for a three count and then a count of 9.8.

AJ puts Kurt on the top rope and goes for a superplex but Kurt tries to suplex AJ out of the ring but AJ counters with a top Super DDT for the pin and the win! Holy Shit!

AJ then comes back to the ring as the EMTs are loading Kurt onto a stretch and tosses him on his head again. AJ walks off and the lights go off and Sting appears and gives AJ a Scorpion Death Drop on th e ramp way. Kevin Nash comes out and asks Sting what the hell was that. The EMTs then help AJ away from the ring.

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Mixed reaction for both men but they are leaning towards Joe. Joe tackles Book before he can use a hockey stick. Joe runs into a back elbow and Book unloads. Joe stops Book using a weapon with a headbutt. Joe gets a running back elbow and an enzenguri but the Camera's totally miss it. Joe snapmares Booker and then kicks a trash can into Booker and then scores with the senton backsplash crushing the trash can onto Book. Joe then smashes Book with a Kendo stick to a mixed reaction. Joe unloads with a flurry. Book returns fire with back elbow in the corner and he smashes Joe with the remainder of the Trash can. Book misses with the Hockey stick and Joe kills Book with an enzenguri. Joe gets two trash can lids and gives Book a noggin knocker and just unloads on Book with the lids for two. Joe misses with a chair and Book scores with a spinning heel kick sending the chair into Joe's face. Book slugs Joe with the chair and Book is bleeding. Book does some ground and pound and then leg drops a trash can lid onto Joe's head. Book then chokes Joe with an axe Handle. Book tries to escape but Joe catches him and gives him an ace crusher off the top rope. Joe then introduces Book to the steel cage. Joe begins to climb the cage but Book gives Joe a back suplex off the top rope. Booker then locks a guillotine choke but Joe makes the ropes. Booker throws Joe the trash can lid and Book gives Joe a Harlem Side Kick sending the lid into Joe's face for two. Booker tries to climb the cage and both men battle on the top rope. Joe then gives Book an enzenguri on the top rope, Book gets crotched on the way down. Joe gets two closelines and the snap powerslam for two. Joe then scores with the powerbomb to STF to Crossface and Book makes the ropes. Some dick head starts a Chris Benoit chant. Joe gets a chair and lays two of them in the middle of the ring. Joe gives Book the Enzenguri on the top rope and goes for the Muscle Buster but Book counters to the Book End on the two chairs for a two count. Booker then Spinaroonies up and scores with the Scissor kick as the lights go out. The lights come back on and Joe nails Book with a guitar for the win.

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