Daveportivo's Cultural Evaluation Facility

When Overload hit the stores in September of the year 2000 I don't think anyone expected the Sugababes to embark on a decade of chart domination. Overload showed signs of the potential in the group, the production was beyond slick, and they sounded light years ahead of their pop contemporaries. With a funk meets dub step beat, some haunting faint vocals and a guitar solo thrown into the mix. The track still remains their career high point, it would be the most creative piece they'd ever realise, and remains one of Pops most daring arrangements of decade. Hear It Here

All The Small Things saw Blink launched into the new millennium at light speed. There fan base quadrupled over night on the back of this monstrous hit. In many ways this track would create the caste iron formula for all the punk pop that was to follow. What this track lacks in intelligence it makes up for with spades of humour and feel good energy. Listening back now it almost feels to formulaic to be such a big hit, but at it's heart are some sweet melodies and the occasional harmonies riding the back of some bounce along chords. Simple, successful, superb. Hear It Here

Few names bring a grimace to my face like that of Destiny's Child, while they would dive bomb creatively into one of the decades most grating acts, back in 2000 they were about as fresh as got. There sound would be mimicked and undergo a gender change operation in the form of Craig David in the UK, but Destiny's Child were the original chart conquerors. Say My Name is produced to perfection, and the harmonies are very subtly arranged to support the booming power of Beyonce's lead vocal. Hear It Here

In 2004 there was so much good will towards Graham Coxon, everyone wanted him to succeed, he was always the Elvis Costello/Buddy Holly type in Blur. Too low key and normal next to Damon's non stop posturing, Graham never really had the look to be a star or the OTT personality, but he was so likeable we wanted him to reach the top. Thus when Freakin' Out exploded in 2004 it felt like the triumph of an underdog, as the most insular member of Blur exploded becoming the indie scenes new angst laden guitar god. No track rocked harder in 2004 than Freakin' Out. Hear It Here

What's Your Fantasy was one of the year 2000s biggest and most influential debuts. What's Your Fantasy was one of the first shots fired by the Southern Hip Hop scene in a decade in which it would rise up to match the East-West dominance of the 90s. The sound would always be defined by it's hedonism rather than it's tough street struggles, it seemed that southern rappers were more interest in getting smashed and partying all night long than pushing drugs. While Ludacris lacked the lyrical punch of his contemporaries he was one of the first rappers to bring a sense of fun and foolishness back to hip hop that had been missing since the late eighies/early nineties. Hear It Here

In 2005 the punk rock spirit seemed to be desperately lacking in contemporary indie, well for a brief fleeting moment Be Your Own Pet stormed the scene and restored the D.I.Y ethic. Of course like all the best punk bands Be Your Own Pet crashed and burned almost instantaneously but they wouldn't have wanted it any other way. Damn Damn Leash was two minutes of blindly slamming chords, over the top of an addictive danceable bassline while Jearmina Pearl explode with all her charisma on the microphone. Damn Damn Leash was the shot in the arm indie desperately need. Hear It Here

It's never been cool to like Grandaddy in the UK and this is a tragedy as they've forged some of the most exciting and challenging indie music of the last twenty years. They seem to embody the post Pavement sound of US indie while also incorporating the laid back air of their native California. The Crystal Lake was a tremendous single, it manage a paradoxical appeal it's melodies were soft and addictive, but the subtle arrangement created a foreboding ominous air that fit the bleak lyrics and perfectly counter balanced it the sleepy vocal delivery. Hear It Here

(TVT 2006, Lil'John)

So six years on from Ludacris' What's Your Fantasy came a man called Lil'John and his trademark anthem Snap Yo Fingers. This track remains the definitive crunk track, it's beyond brain dead but it's too much fun to be denied, and still gets dropped into the mix three years lately. The production was minimal but sublime, as Lil'John conjured arguably the most memorable synth line of the decade on this mind boggling hit. Hear It Here

642. Girl - Beck

The 21st Century would be a strange place for music's great Albatross, Beck would see highs and lows but would maintain a surprising level of commercial success even as his relevance appeared to decline. The decade started on strong footing after the gorgeous folk of Sea Change, Beck brought the electronica back in a big way with the commercial break through Guero. Girl would be the albums cross over hit, a sun encrusted quasi-ballad, perfectly suited to the evening sun on festival fields the world over. As strange as it sounds Girl was proof that conventional pop suited Beck to a tee, who of though it? Hear It Here

While the latter half of the 2000s would see hip hop's most prominent and influential producer run out of steam and be overtaken by hip hops new breed; back in 2000 Dr. Dre was still the ruler of all he prevayed. The Next Episode with it's crafty sample of David Axelrod's The Edge would seemingly set the clock back to the early nineties and prove that Dre, Nate Dogg and Snoop still had a few tricks left up their sleeves. The Next Episode would be one of the last great 90s gangsta tracks and a final moment in the sun for Dr. Dre as a recording artist. Hear It Here

Obviously I wanted to reflect my own taste in music but also create a broad festival that would have a wide appeal. I've gone for the glastonbury model and tried to create two big stages with a high callibre of acts. I've themed each section of the line up, in and attempt to draw in different fanbases but also to create a coherent and plausible line up.

I do have to admit that I have bent the rules a little. I ran over budget by £300, 000 but still hit the round figure of £25 million, I also picked some holes in the rules, my Saturday line up is rather stacked with very big acts that would probably cost more than the rules suggest but of course the rules are based on where acts have appeared on previous festivals rather than their realistic monetary values.

Anyway, let's have a look at what I did pick and why. I tried to create a strong theme for each day on the main stream. Friday was the electronica day, Daft Punk where the obvious choice to headline being the biggest name in dance and one of the greatest live bands I've ever seen. The lower card slots were filled with my personal favourite acts, some might argue whether their main stage worthy but they certainly compliment the headliner. Saturday is purely hip hop, and using the rules to my advantage I created a dream line up, unfortunately I couldn't free up the extra two million to fit Eminem in below Jay Z. Sunday I was desperate to get Bowie and Radiohead back to back but it simply wasn't affordable, so I instead stacked up my favourite US rock acts. The Sunday mainstage is a bit spotty themeatically but it's held together by a combination of guitars and experimentation.

As for the second stage, I decided to offer a genuine alternative on each day. Friday being dedicated to metal and I found a slot for my favourite hard act Tool, and tried to compliment them with the Grooves of Down and the experimentation of Mastodon. Saturday was just a dream pop line up, with all the front runners in pop's twenty first century revival, the order can probably criticised but it's my festival and no one other than Lily was ever going to headline. As for Sunday I opted for the best of US alternative and indie, trying to mix some critical credibility with some genuinely popular acts.

As for the third stage I really mixed things up. Friday was my world and folk stage, with Africa's The Very Best Of and classic polish group Kroke heading the bill. Saturday I went for a mix of acts with some big name DJs and electronica acts building to a creative final with The Big Pink. Well as for Sunday that's a real mess we have Manu Chao, Lupe Fiasco followed by some Scandianvian flavour and a Hip Hop DJ.

My intent was to create a diverse and broad festival. It would be huge in scope, and would cater to specialized interests. Rather than basing it around camping, I envisioned a bigger scale version of Wireless Festival or Hard ROck Calling in Hyde Park, where it would be largely dominated by day tickets with a smaller number of campers, as the chances of finding someone who the festival appeals to every day is less likely. You could then talior the advertise to match, hence in MetalHammer or Kerrang it would show Tool & Mastodon at the top of the Bill, where as in Mix Mag Daft Punk would be front and centre and so on. It's worked well for Wireless over the years, this would just be a bigger budget varient.

Oh and I can't believe I couldn't find room for Pavement, Sonic Youth & The Knife :(

After the commercial breakthrough Toxicity it seemed that System were on the fast track to legendary status, they could seemingly do no wrong, even the boorish Steal This Album couldn't slow their momentum. However in 2005 they bit off more than they could chew with a double album that would leave to the band going on hiatus and a gross overexposure of their limited formula. Yet everything started well enough and B.Y.O.B had the world licking it lips at the prospect of a new System LP. With crunching guitars, elastic bass and the combination of political satire and a feel good vibe; System had created one of 2005's best loved rock tracks, shame it was all down hill from here. Hear It Here

I have to admit when he first arrived on the scene I never saw myself warming to Akon, his first singles were tortuous but as the years have past he's grown in stature and matured into one of R'n'B's greatest hit makers. Smack That was Akon's first real high quality single that merged innate catchiness with a genuine A grade beat and a surprisingly slick guest spot from Eminem who was fast becoming a radically better producer than rapper. Best of all there wasn't a cheap gimmick in sight, this was a genuine R'n'B classic. Hear It Here

(Virgin Records 2003, Daft Punk)

Discovery asserted Daft Punk's place as the greatest dance act of their generation and arguably of all time, it was stacked full of sick beats and killer singles. But despite their new found status as international kings of cool, Daft Punk found their inspiration from the least credible of sources, the sugary pop of the seventies, eighties with a touch of Japanese popular culture thrown into the mix. As a result their biggest hits sounded like rainbow coloured feel good anthems rather than ice cool electronica and the beautiful Something About Us would have felt more at home on Marvin Gaye's Midnight Love than on Kraftwerk's Autobahn. Something About Us still remains the ultimate proof that Daft Punk were human after all. Hear It Here

You know when a single is release as a DVD rather than a CD something is up, there was more to Eric Prydz call on me than just an irresistible hook, a hypnotic thudding bassline and some nifty cross fading. Yes I'm sure this songs success had more than a little to do with it's mouth watering but equally hilarious video. Yet behind all the leotards and sweat bands lied a sure fire two minute club banger. Hear It Here

I'm sure most people, myself included, scoffed when they heard Jared Leto was going to unleash his own emo outfit upon the world, no one expected it too be good, no one expected his tracks to sell, but of course they were and they did. Unsurprisingly Leto instantly secured legions of screaming girls but more surprisingly he won over the men at an alarm rate too, with his crunching wall of noise sound and a gift for the theatrical. While From Yesterday may not be one of the best executed tracks of the decade, it's sheer scope and ambition was ultimately overwhelming. Hear It Here

Subtly obviously isn't in Ludacris' dictionary, he'll never be accused of being a street poet, and he'll never rank among the great MCs but when it came to getting retarded nobody could do it better than Ludacris. Stand Up was the ultimate party anthem, it had an infectious chorus, it's own dance step, an OTT video and to Luda's credit some sharp one liners. Hear It Here

While Slumdog Millionaire sweeped a weak year at the Oscars (robbing Milk in my opinion) it also stormed the pop charts by introducing the western world to Jai Ho! a charming little track sublimely produced by A.R. Rahman and a track perfectly suited to remixes. Jai Ho! quickly became part of a feel good feeling that surrounded 2008 before the world wide recession deepen. Hear It Here

That's Not My Name marks the second and final entry from my least favourite act of the 21st Century in the top 1000. It's a short sharp intelligent pop record, it's also remarkably grating, and to be honest I have little else to say, plenty has been said about this track, and I'm sure in two years time when the backlash begins in earnest the Ting Tings will look back on the good times as a fond memory. Hear It Here

Grindin' has to be one of the most haunting Hip Hop tracks of all time, built around a sparse minimalist Neptunes beat that sounds mechanical and almost totally inhuman were it not for the handclaps. It adds to the tragic air of the track as Clipse walks us through the drug trade. This track was simply darker than the competition, it felt as though Clipse had single-handedly written the entire first season of the Wire within these four minutes. While Clipse throws in some great one liners, it's hard to get passed the bleak mentality and abrasiveness of the track. It's a record designed to intimidate as well as make you dance, it's a complex, contradictory, and one of the finest and most challenging hip hop tracks of all time. Hear It Here

From a daring piece of bleak minimalism to a brain dead party anthem, it hardly seems fair to list Clipse below Andrew WK but this is a singles list, and while the voices in your head tell you to resist this lad rock bollocks you'll have already lost control of your neck to perpetual head banging. Perhaps the cruellest jokes is that in 2001 people were billing Andrew WK as a hard rock saviour, well that was too much weight to bear and he crumbled in the face of critical backlash but he did at least have the courtesy to leave behind this anthem, which still manages to stay in rotation eight years later. Hear It Here

It seems fitting that on the day that U2 were announced as Glastonbury headliners they'd make their début appearance on the top 1000. Of course Elevation is three minutes of non stop jiberish and posturing, each line is more simplistic and eye rolling than the last, yet it's hard to deny just how catchy this track is. This was U2 entering the decade of auto-pilot, it would take them seven years to even attempt a meaningful departure but after the Pop disaster Elevation seemed like a welcome return to form. Hear It Here

In 2003 I'm not quite sure the good folk of Great Britain knew quite what to make of Girls Aloud, their first three singles had been remarkably good tracks, almost too good compared to the rest of the pop market, but they'd seen the rise and fall of Hearsay and the other horrid Pop Stars cast offs and wouldn't be fooled again, but there was something special about this band and their wily producers Xenomania. Jump saw the Girls Aloud taking the Pointer Sisters classic and with the help of some mind blowing electro-squelch courtesy of Xenomania this remake blew the original out of the water and launched this track straight to the top of the charts. You do have to wonder though, if they got Jump so right, how did they get I Think We're Alone Now so wrong? Hear It Here

Best Of You was hardly shakespeare, it didn't do anything particularly interesting in it's arrangement, yet it is one of this decades all time great anthems. It's the combination of a simple heartfelt sentiment and a powerful blokey roar that guaranteed this tracks success. It never really could fail, it was designed and masterfully crafted to conqueror festival fields worldwide creating those euphoric sing along moments that only a true headline act can conjure. Hear It Here

No one inspires hate quite like Mr. James Blunt, of course it doesn't help when your name rhymes with cunt, your just asking for it aren't you? Of course with said name you then write one of the most inescapably sappy love songs of the decade, inspiring over a hundred thousand people to sign an online petition attempting to ban you from writing or recording music. If a song inspires that much hate, you can just image how much love it's inspired in return, and while it maybe tragically uncool, it is one of this decades great heartbreaking ballads. Hear It Here

It was around 2005 when the Neptunes began to come of the boil as producers, and coincidentally this creative slide happened to coincide with Pharrell's solo LP. Pharrell alone couldn't reach the same standards as his N.E.R.D work. He did at least muster a few hits, and while Can I Have It Like That was luke warm lyrically Pharrell managed to create one of his most dominant beats to decade, and the track became a club monster on the back of it's healthy groove. Hear It Here

In 2005 Garbage returned for one last run on top, the world wasn't really sure what to expect of a band so fundamentally 90s, did they really belong in the 21st Century? Well they didn't really update their core sound, but they proved that great infectious song writing really never goes out of fashion. Garbage brought a big James Bond sized riff, and Shirley brought all her quiet loud rage and together they forged a surprise hit and they rode this baby all the way to a headline slot at Download Festival. Hear It Here

Yes, here we have the absolute most annoying track title of the decade, yes more grating than Hot in Herre, and I will be refering to this track as Thanks For The Memories. Now that that out the way we can concentrate on a brilliant singalong anthem, Fall Out Boy were beginning to move away from any pretension of being a punk band in 2007 and were fully embracing their pop superstar status. The result of this transition were staggering, as they continued to supply irresistible track after irresistible track. Hear It Here

So What confirmed Pink's status as one of pop's biggest superstars and completed a decade long journey from R'n'B outsider to one of the decades biggest selling artist. While in 2000 Pink seemed too quirky and daffy to be anything other than a novelty, by 2008 we'd discovered that Pink held all the trump cards. The 21st century would see the decline of the plastic diva and the rise of the fiesty personality driven pop star. Pink was truly ahead of the curve and next to the ever so bland and calculated Alexandra Burke it's not hard to see why Pink is such a phenomenon. So What was infectious, morose and illogical all at the same time, it had a gorgeous riff, and was a total self parody from the word go, on paper it sounded like a horrible idea, a total clusterfuck, in actuality, it was still a clusterfuck but an undeniably brilliant one. Hear It Here

By 2001 Marilyn Manson had become part of the furniture a pop culture icon, and he could pretty much do whatever the hell he wanted. So rather than continue the façade he revealed that beneath his gothic industiral posing lied an eighties pop fan dying to be set free. It didn't take a genius to figure out Mr. Manson had more than a passing interest in Depeche Mode but not many expected him to be a lover of Soft Cell, let alone to resurrect their classic and ride it all the way to the number one spot and renewed commercial relevance. Hear It Here

Boy oh boy does 2001 seem a long long time ago, the Strokes were just hopping off a plane and introducing themselves to the UK's underground, and the charts were dominated by cheese and soft rock; but while the world waited for a rock and roll revolution the 20 plus strong So Solid Crew were leading the UK's biggest emerging scene: garage. It would crash and burn quickly enough but 21 Seconds improbably took So Solid Crew to the number one spot. While garage today seems like a mere gimmick, it was actually was the first moment when the UK showed signs of developing a truly unique sound, breaking from and American hip hop culture, most importantly this track would lay the foundation for the dark aggressive and angular sound that would define Britain's grime scene, and eventually change the face of popular music. Hear It Here.