Daveportivo's Cultural Evaluation Facility

In 2008 Wiley decided to give up Eskibeats and instead opt for a more mainstream synth driven dance crunch. Of course as is the case with most grime artist within a year his commercial breakthrough would be completely overshadowed by Dizzee Rascal. It was a simple formula take one irresistable beat and loop it, take one simple hook (no more than four lines) and repeat it, and by golly you'll have one of the biggest selling singles of the year. Hear It Here

Now if you've never seen Daft Punk live, never heard this track dropped in a club, or never heard it seamlessly mixed and remixed to perfection, then you may well be scratching your head. Yet even while this track certainly works best as part of a megamix, it still more than holds it's own as a stand alone single. After a slow and vocoded intro the track slowly builds before unleashing a grinding industrial bassline that can turn even the most pleasant of clubs into a filthy mosh pit, the track then builds to it's truly ludicrous finale. It's a fascinating track, and I'm never quite sure how to react when I hear it through my headphones in isolation, but it has a certain power, it holds your attention captive for four rather odd minutes. Hear It Here

There is no doubt about when it comes to the world's coolest DJs and best dance acts France reigns supreme, as we pass from the legendary Daft Punk to one of France's newer heroes Vitalic. La Rock 01 is his second entry on the list and this time it's a full fledged anthem, reminiscent of a car flying threw the gears this track is a sheer adrenaline rush. It beats the crap out of you, it's pounds dance floors remorselessly holding nothing back, this track is a whirl wind. God the idea of mixing this track into Prime Time Of Your Life popped into my head, if anyone is up to the task please have a go and link me to the results. Hear It Here

Back in 2004 everyone was desperate for a taste of M.I.A's debut LP, and the anticipation reached fever pitch when we got our hands on her second single Sunshowers. With a ridiculous first verse that referenced Mangos, Ringo Starr and the PLO. MTV actually threatened to ban the video for that one reference alone, but this track was uncensorable, it was too damn good, whether it was the divine sample, M.I.A's carefree verse or the killer drum arrangement Sunshowers was the highlight of M.I.A's early work and the show stealer of her Glastonbury set. She would go onto to release tracks that were all round better singles but M.I.A would never release a better song than this. Now lets dance and despair at the state of the world simultaneously! Hear It Here

Some beats are just sexy, and the beat from Cassie's Me & U, to put it bluntly, was sexy as fuck. Now there is a problem with this track, and it's a common one, when it drops in a club everyone cheers and then about twenty seconds in everyone realize the beat is sick but the track is whack. Luckily this beat was so good, you just shrug your shoulders and do your best to ignore the tired R'n'B vocals. Or if your particularly lucky and your local club has a talented DJ he'll mix some else vocals over the top of the track, Lil'Wayne works particularly well with this beat. Hear It Here

"Who The Fuck You Think You Fuckin', I'm The Fucking BOSS" the opening line for this track sets the tone for the entire piece, this is one big ridiculous boast after another, but no-one is brasher or more in your face than Rick Ross. Every inch of this track is buzzing is with one liners, you can effortless quote every line making it the perfect club jam, and after all who doesn't whipping it real hard? And yes this is my ringtone (if that doesn't lose me 30 viewers a day nothing will). Hear It Here

You have no Ideal just how much I wanted to put this track number one, or at least a surprise number two, but I simply couldn't. But let us all sit and marvel at the best written and executed parody track of all time. Picking a favourite line is near impossible but I think I'll have to settle for "Fuck Land, I'm On A Boat Motherfucker, Fuck Tree's I Climb Bouys Motherfucker". Hear It Here

Earlier on we discussed tracks with sexy beats who didn't have the lyrics to match, well just a few tracks later we arrive at Try Again. A classic single from Aaliyah with a beat so sexy, so sick it was absolutely irresistible and had dance floors world wide begging for mercy. However unlike Cassie Aaliyah was no plastic diva and she brought a great vocal and lyrical performance. Try Again was loaded with snappy singalong punch to match it's electro-squelch. Hear It Here

The later 2000s have been disastrous for Mr. Manson his credibility and relevance have disappeared at an alarming rate, and perhaps more worrying his once formidable live show has suffered the same fate. Luckily, he did manage this one bright spark, the gorgeous Heart Shaped Glasses was sleak and sexy, riding an unstated guitar line and a raft of shimmering effects. It got alot of mileage out of a simple arrangement and a smoulderingly dark vocal performance, unfortunately it didn't trigger a renaissance but it least showed that Manson was still capable of earning his keep. Hear It Here.