Daveportivo's Cultural Evaluation Facility

Them Crooked Vultures' self titled debut is a paradox; it's manifestation of my worst fears for the project and yet it easily surpasses expectation. I've always been dubious of the supergroup phenomena, I was never particularly taken with either Audioslave or The Racountuers, arguably the decades two most famous and consistently active super groups. Both groups served to dilute the various talents of the ensemble casts, it truly was a case of subtraction by addition. Of course the obvious question on everyone's mind is; are these groups really that super in the first place? Were Brendan Benson and the Greenhornes really superstars on the level of Jack White? Well in the case of Them Crooked Vultures there was no question, no debate. These are three bonafide cultural icons. Dave Grohl has dominated FM radio over the last two decades having graduated from Nirvana, John Paul Jones may have done little of note since Zeppelin but that association alone puts him in the pantheon of the rock gods, and Josh Holme is one of the most outspoken and recognisable figures in 21st century rock music. How could these guys possible produce anything less than brilliance?

Well unfortunately despite their fame and their great legacies Josh Holme and Dave Grohl both seem to be having a whale of playing in Led Zeppelin rock and roll fun camp. There is a real slap dash feel to this album, it feels like a jam session, it feels like two giggling school boys getting to sit along side their child hood hero while he lays down some pretty sick basslines. The worst example of this fanboyism is Elephants where Holme and try to fit as much Zeppelin sized riffage into a single track as humanly possible. Elephants is groovy and impressive technically, but it's lost, it meanders, directionless and aimless. Them Crooked Vultures never feels cohesive, we have bits and bobs, a splicing together of different elements but never a chemistry. Dave Grohl thunders on the pads in his trademark style, Josh Holme offers up his best hypnotic vocals interspersed with the odd Robert Plant impression while simultaneously trying to offer up as many solos and as many giant riffs as humanly possible. However it never amasses to more than the some of it's parts, nothing feels serious, credible or vital. The only member of the band truly pulling his weight is John Paul Jones, he may not have the quick fingers of Holme but he has unholy mastery of the bass groove, and every track on this album has a seductive bass driven vibe. As a result this is an album that sounds slick there are no tracks to point out as real let downs or obvious clangers, yet equally there are no clear highlights either.

Them Crooked Vultures is the type of album you can stick on and you can immediately nod your head to. It's easy to emerge yourself in the grooves of a track like Dead End Friends, but there's little replay value. Track after track blends into another comfortably enough, yet there is no story, no character, you don't feel like this is a harmonious artist effort more a drawn out jam session that goes on for far too long. Them Crooked Vultures clocks in at over sixty minutes, which is effectively double album length and it really begins to drag. There is a consistent standard on display that never threatens to disappoint but it simply can't muster long term thrills, tracks like Reptiles and the Doors' pastiche Warsaw or The First Breath... are more than competently executed yet aside from the odd solo or a booming bass groove struggle to stand out amongst the other fifty minutes of endless grooving. This album really would have been well served with a diligent producer. This isn't a White Album scenario where the albums excesses are what make it so special in first place, this is simply a case of too much of something that wasn't that great in the first place. Had this album been cut down, trimmed and shaped into a tight package it might have had the potential to be truly special. Gunman is a perfect example, it starts with a truck load of momentum built on an oscillating riff and sees Holme pulling out his best Bowie impression but at over five minutes the track is lost to monotony and repetition.

Ultimately the real flaw that undermines Them Crooked Vultures is a lack of urgency, from the word go, you get the sense that you are listening to three old, comfortable, happy made men, there is simple no energy, no desire. This is three rockers whose legendary status is already more than cemented relaxing and having a good time. At first this loose rough around the edges fun is infectious, and will quickly bring a smile to your face, but around the twenty five minute mark you realize Them Crooked Vultures is going nowhere fast. This is music at your expense for their amusement, it's good music, but it's not special and it's not all that interesting. The sheer consistency of the grooves stops Them Crooked Vultures from feeling self indulgent, but it's walking a very thin line. They position themselves perfectly between pomposity and laziness and the end result is a semi-satisfying mediocrity. Them Crooked Vultures in the end is oddly forgettable, not visceral or thrilling enough to be a classic and not hideous or bloated enough to become a laughing stock. It's just kind of there, it's certainly enjoyable and their are enough riffs and grooves to tide you over until 2012 but it couldn't capture the essence of IV or Rated R. Oddly enough, despite being indebted to the sounds of QOTSA and Zeppelin, they've ended up with a Foo Fighters' album, fun, enjoyable, occasional satisfying but largely forgettable. Still that's better than your average super group these days.

Rated R - Queens Of The Stonage, Blues For The Red Sun - Kyuss