Daveportivo's Cultural Evaluation Facility

Well I have to say I'm surprised right from the off, I seriously did not expect Shakira to be the executive producer on this or any album, especially when she didn't write or compose a single track on She Wolf. Now don't worry Shakira hasn't gone of the rails she's producer in name only, the bulk of the production is shouldered by The Neptunes & John Hill. Now I've always had a soft spot for Shakira, she's always had a whacky off the wall element to her music and her public appearances. I think something gets lost in translation but her daffy Columbian charm makes her feel like a real sex obsessed free spirit and an atypical popstar. However her albums have never really lived up to the promise of her singles or insanity of her character, but in the late 2000s pop stars can't get by on horrible albums. Following the lead of Girls Aloud, Justin Timberlake and of course Lily Allen if a pop star wants to be taken seriously they have to deliver over twelve tracks. So Shakira makes her return to world stage with videos and dance routines raunchier than ever and with an even more ridiculous sound but can the substance of her album match her almighty publicity blitz?

She Wolf the single is probably the logical place to start, and as I'm sure you all know it's an absolute monster of a tune riding on a huge bass laden Noel's house party beat and some of the silliest lyrics this side of a Weird Al Yankovic record, complete with comedy Oowooooooohs. It's stupid and spasmodic but the beat pulsates and pounds relentlessly and demands that you dance, and the daffy charm of her vocals slays your pre-conceptions and disarms any critically safeguards you may have in place. Oh yeah and we get She Wolf not once but twice on this record; Loba the Spanish language version is also included, and it's a great decision, in Spanish it's doubly sexy if not quite as silly. It becomes instantly apparent that Shakira is at her best when she's being sexy, silly and flirtatious. The whackier the track the better. Men In This Town is a prime example riding of a tsunami of synths and keys it's starts out as a straight all be it silly pop rocker before the chorus gives way to a incredibly awesome bridge. Shakira puts on her best Columbian sexy gangsta voice (run through a vocoder) and proclaims "Fresh, I'm So Fresh, And I'm So Clean, Got The Looks, And Got The Skin, The Skin". It's should sound in your face and annoying but with her bemused Latin cadence it's irresistibly charming. This bridge also leads into the tracks real hidden chorus buried away at the ends as Shakira croons in her squeakiest tone "It's A Suicide Waiting". This song is beyond ridiculous, I don't know how she could possible sing it with a straight face but the fact that she does makes it mind blowing brilliant.

Mon Amour is another clear stand out it's lead by a rumbling drum line and driven by a power Kelly Clarkson/Arvil Lavinge style chorus but yet again it's the ludicrous vocals that steal the show. Take a sample verse:

Now lyrically that's silly enough but when Shakira wraps her voice around "horrible vacation" it becomes a real thrill. The whole song is played for tongue in cheek laughs as she rants at her ex-boy's new lover before proclaiming their on a one way trip to hell.

Elsewhere The Neptunes beef up Anoz Luz with a seriously heavy bass groove over Shakira's Latin flourishes, and while it's a little pedestrian it buzzes and hums like a mother fucker and is pretty irresistible. They have an equally powerful effect on the Pharrell Williams penned Did It Again, Shakira fires the vocals out at insane pace over a simple but hypnotic beat. The track is laden with Shakira trademarked groans and heys, it's silly pure pop but it's pretty darn effective and gives the album a great sense of flow and rhythm. Her latest collaboration with Wyclef Jean Spy is alot of fun, albeit dated 90s fun, but it couldn't possible live up to the mind blowing genius of Hips Don't Lie, but honestly what track possibly could? It's still a strong fun effort with Shakira's silliness again stealing the show. One of the real strengths of She Wolf is that even on a more pedestrian track they always manage to throw in a curve ball normally based around Shakira's ridiculous enunciation to turn the ordinary into the thrilling.

Now the album is not with out it's flaws, and there are plenty of clangers don't get me wrong. Gypsy is without doubt the worst offender. It sees Shakira pulling out a charming soft ballad, now soft and conventional doesn't remotely suit Shakira, she's a She Wolf dammit not a starry eyed balladeer. Now I'm sure this will go down well with the pop audience but it's so sweet it's positively sickly, cringe inducing bile. Long Time is perhaps even worse, the beat is slightly sexy but it bores to death with it's unrelenting monotony, it drones on and on and on. It's far too forced, the lyrics speak of her wanting to touch you and that she'll love you long time, it feels synthetic and false. Shakira will be sexy as hell on her own, when she's howling at the moon, dancing the tango or singing about hunting down ex-boyfriends, there's no need to put words in her mouth. Her vocals are so sexy because they're ridiculous and off the wall, she's goofy, unpredictable, a free spirit vocally, by caging the free spirit with hackneyed cliches you kill what made her so much fun in the first place. Save the plastic sex appeal for Kylie Minogue. After all isn't this record targeted at girls anyway? Do women really want to her Shakira boast about how she can last all night long?

She Wolf is at it's best when Shakira is allowed to be crazy sexy cool. She can turn even the silliest of premises into a zany sex romp, and seemingly the weaker the premise the better results. The album is packed full of morosely irresistible pop music. Recent years have reminded us that pop music can be great, it can be powerful, emotive, it can be a social commentary and it can be a cutting satire, but Shakira reminds us that in the midst of this pop renaissance it can still be silly unpretentious fun. And to be honest we wouldn't want Shakira any other way, what makes her own unique brand of stupidity so special is it's honesty; you get the real sense that what you see is what you get. This is Shakira, she's not a publicity whore, you don't see her doing ridiculous things to get on the cover on magazines, the paparazzi don't stalk her twenty four seven, she's just a fun girl from Columbia who likes to dance around and have a laugh, and in many ways that's quite refreshing. It seems the battle lines have been drawn, on one side we have Lily Allen serving as the Tracy Emin of pop music and on the other Simon Cowell and X Factor cast as the evil Darth Vader, yet in the middle there lies Shakira just goofing around howling at the moon oblivious of everything that's going on around her. She an anachronism, her music wouldn't make sense in any setting, it's not high art but it's not lowest common denominator stuff either. So while she's prone to filler and the odd clanger here and there, She Wolf shows us all that there still a place in this world for good old fashion brainless pop. It's not a classic, it doesn't reinvent the wheel but it's a damn good time. Now Miss Shakira next time you decide to put on your dancing shoes and come back around with another LP please remember, we want more crazy, more sexy, but please don't try to be cool (unless your being Ironic), and then you might just make a truly great record. Until then we'll happily settle for the goofy if inconsistent thrills of She Wolf.