Daveportivo's Cultural Evaluation Facility

Music, Politics, Flim, Books and TV all shall be reviewed within.


Okay don't worry, I don't actually sit at my PC crying when I listen to these tracks, it's more of a catch all phrase for emotionally effecting tracks. I find music incredibly effecting, and much like all great art, the most powerful works are always created at the extremes of emotion. In this case we'll be delving into the world of sadness and dispear. So in the words of the mighty Vanilla Ice let's kick it...

10. Cornerstone - Arctic Monkeys

So the Arctic Monkeys have really evolved if you haven't noticed, they've gone from burning through there tracks like energizer bunnies on smack to drawn out crooning balladiers, and it has to be said maturity suits them well. This was a straight toss up between Cornerstone and Jeweller's Hand both part of a beautiful conclusion to Humbug. This is a gorgeous emotive love song, it speaks of regret, the ghost of a lost love who haunts new relationships. Turners lyricism is lush and beautiful and full of stunning lines;

"I Thought I Saw You In The Batlleship But It Was Only A Look Like,
But It Was Only A Vision Trick...
She Was Close,
Close Enough To Be Your Ghost"

"I Elongated My Lift Home,
I Let Him Go The Long Way Round,
I Smelt Your Sent On The Seatbelt,
And Kept My Shortcuts To Myself"

A just a little bit creepy but a thing of beauty nonetheless.



9. Trying Your Luck - The Strokes

Now this isn't a particularly sad song, but it is one of, if not my absolute favourite track of all time. I think it's the guitar line, Nick Valensi guitar is gently weeping like he's transformed into a sleazy NYC George Harrison. The riff feels desolate and sparse, it's a driving riff, and Julien's riff is just tragic. He's vocals are so apathic, towards love, towards life, it's a desolate and depressing picture he paints, and the big guitar suicide feels like it's straight from a movie scene. The torn and depressed lead in driving out on an empty road in the middle of nowhere, he slams on the breaks, spins, and then drives full speed back into the horizon. It's all absolutely gorgeous and tragic. It's contains some wonderful scathing vocals "At Least I'm On My Own Again, Instead Of Anywhere With You", ouch, but through all the apathetic desolation, Julian decides he's going to try his luck one more time, so there is a light at the end of the tunnell.



8. The River - Bruce Springsteen

Ah yes it's the saddest instrument of them all; the harmonica. Nothing quite says loneliness and sorrow like a good old puff on a harmonica. The River is a track I've talked about on a couple of occasions on this blog before, it's a tender bluesy ballad, telling the story of a young mans life going completely off the rails with an unplanned teenage pregnacy. It's poignant story, he had to give up on his dreams, and spend the rest of his life working to support his family, but at night he and "Mary" go down to the River and manage to emotionally escape it all, if only for a fleeting moment. The ultimate proof that The Boss is the ultimate American Story teller.




7. You Know I'm No Good - Amy Winehouse

It'd be impossible to do a tear jerkers list without a slice of lady Winehouse, Back To Black was such a soulful and powerful album. It's an intense experience. You Know I'm No Good is a highly introspective, it's about a cataclismic relationship, and as she'd said on My Tears Dry On My Own she "Fuck's Herself In The Head With Stupid Men". However, You Know I'm No Good takes her introspection a step further looking into her own neurossis and how love, and the human condition, forces her and us to make these diabolical illogical decision that cause us unnessecary pain, because of some unshakeable internal drive. "I Treated Myself, Like I Knew I Would, I Told You I Was Trouble, You Know That I'm No Good", simply put a perfect chorus, to a heartwrenching track.



6. Cheryl Tweedy - Lily Allen

This is my favourite Lily Allen song of all time easily and unfortunately it could only be released as a B-side and didn't get to take it's rightful place on Alright, Still. It's a wonderful piece of music, it's understated and earnest. It expresses a simple emotion of self disgust, not nessecarily depression or unhappiness but simply the desire to change everything, to look in the mirror and see someone else looking back. It's a great peice of introspection, it's full of perfectly targeted lyrically javellins;

"I Wish My Life Was A Little Less Seedy,
Why Am I Always So Greedy,
Wish I Looked Just Like Cheryl Tweedy"

"I Wish My Life Was Not So Boring,
Every Weekend Fall To The Flooring,
Don't Get Me Started On Monday Morning"

"Don't Wake Me Up Today,
Under My Duvet Is Where I Want To Stay"

"Oh I Wish I Didn't Smoke So Many Cigarrettes,
Another Programme About Antiques On The TV Set,
Wish I Had Blonde Hair,
I Wish I Had Green Eyes,
So Many Things About Myself That I Despise"

About as brutally honest as it gets, well it's all turned out well Lily's gorgeous (hotter than Cheryl Cole in my book anyway) and very successful, but it's a feeling that everyone at one time or another can relate to, I just wish she'd play it live once in awhile. Fuck it, I'll try and tweet her about it before the Brixton gig.



5. Shiver - Coldplay

Yes it's Coldplay, get over it already. Shiver was the song that for most of the world introduced us to Coldplay and surprise surprise it was a ethereal sweeping ballad. It's Chris Martin at his best, it felt like his answer to Creep, that state of complete and utter love and obssesion where you love someone completely even if they don't notice you at all. Its also the tale of a relationship where your completely commited and would do anything but the other person can only match your love with a cold apathy. It's another track that's stacked with emotionally loaded lines;

"So I Look In Your Direction But You Pay Me No Attention Do You",

"And It's You I See, But You Don't See Me"

"From The Moment I Wake To The Moment I Sleep,
I'll There By Your Side Just You Try And Stop Me,
I'll Be Waiting In A Line, Just To See If You Care"



4. Goddess On A Hi Way - Mercury Rev

This is a hard track to write about a lenght because everything just clicks together perfectly, the guitar, the bass, the vocal harmony, it's all tender and it all slots into place devinely. Goddess On A Hiway is a track that you just have to experience. It's actually a fateful triumphant track, it speaks of one of those perfect moments of love and lust that you know won't last forever, love after all is fleeting. And it builds to the devine conclusion "And I Know It Ain't Gonna Last, When I See Your Eyes Arrive, They Explode Like Two Bugs On Glass". It's a wonderful juaxtaposition between the sweet sweeping harmony, looking into these beautiful eyes and the maccabre image of bugs exploding on a car window. It's a dark wonderous masterpeice.



3. I Know It's Over - The Smiths

This was a tough choice it was either I Know It's Over or Never Had No One Ever but the latter was just to tragic, heart wrenching and ultimately depressing. It's too tragic, I don't often listen to it in full because it bludgens and it wrenches. I Know It's Over strikes the balence perfectly, it's beautiful and tragic, rather than hideously beautiful. I Know It's Over is a track embroilled in loneliness, it asks one simple question;

"If Your So Very Funny,
Then Why Are You On Your Own Tonight?
If Your So Very Clever,
Then Why Are You On Your Own Tonight?
If Your So Very Entertaining,
Then Why Are You On Your Own Tonight?
And If Your So Very Good Looking,
Why Do you Sleep Alone Tonight?
I Know,
Because Tonight Is Just Like Any Other Night,
That's Why Your On Your Own Tonight"

Morrissey is pulling absolutely no emotional punches and that's what makes this track so bloody powerful, this is raw, emotional, honest, this is as brave as any track I've ever heard.



2. Lucky - Radiohead

So yes I wrote about this song just two days ago in the Radiohead list, and it came up in the greatest singles and album list of the 90s but I just couldn't exclude it. It's such a work of art, it's so tragic, when those minor chords come in and Thom Yorke has these almostly maccabrely ironic lyrics. In his absolute saddest and most tragic croon he sings "I'm on A Roll, I'm On A Roll, I Feel My Luck Could Change, This Time". It's amazing how words so happy could be turned on there head and disfigured and brutalized. It all of course builds to that hurrendous chorus "It's Gonna Be, A Glorious Day, I Feel My Luck Could Change, Pull Me Out Of The Air Crash". It's a lyrical marvel, the way this track twists and shapes emotions and preconceptions it's beautiful, like the ultimate movie twist, and yes it's only number two.



1. Littlest Things - Lily Allen

This is another of my favourite tracks of all time, and ironically it's a track that Mark Ronson helped out on lyrically (so yes he can actually write lyrics), it's just a sweet gorgeous retrospective ballad of loves lost, and memories past. "Sometimes I Find Myself Sitting Back and Reminenscing, Especially When I Have To Watch Other People Kissing" I've definitely been there. I think I find this track particularly affecting not just becuase of memories of lost loves, but lost times in general, it always reminds me of memories that are forever banished to the past, that we can never return to, no matter how much we wish we could, particularly my time and university. Whatever memories it conjures for you, it's a beautiful tracks and one of Lily's finest. Here's a live version from this years V Festival hopefully I'm not on screen singing along like a Goomba in the audience (Oh shit, you can see me dancing in an over head shot in Not Fair).




And as Lily wins I get to include a silly picture, woo hoo!

Viva La Pandas!

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This is your one stop shop of pop culture reviews I most specialize in Music, Politics & Film. I occasionally delve into TV reviews. I've got a Politics MA and a War Studies BA, I'm taking a year out before starting a Phd so when it comes to History and Politics I'm pretty well versed but I tend to keep this blog fun rather than serious.

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