Daveportivo's Cultural Evaluation Facility

In the four years since the Mercury Prize winning I Am A Bird Now it looks like Antony Hegarty has picked up a few new tricks. His voice is as fragile and beautiful as ever, the arrangments are still sparse and chilling, but Antony has come across the big pop chorus. While Hope Someone... had a haunting chorus that's sheer emotive power demands your attention, the soft coo of "oooh Aeon" is delighful and makes Aeon the most accessible track he's ever written. It's a bit blander than his useful fare, but it sounds gorgeous and if anyones earned the right to make festival sized anthems it's Antony Hegarty.

I have to admit I've always had a soft spot for Pink records, I'm not sure why exactly. She's certainly doesn't have the best songs in the world but I think there's something genuine about her. She doesn't look like your standard pop star, I'm sure the record label weren't too thrilled when they first saw her. When she preforms she has a earnest energy about her, she seems to be genuinely having fun, she's also very self depricating which is always disarms the critic when compared to say, hmmn...Mariah Carey.

It also helps that Pink has consistantly relased some of the best pop singles of recent years. Funhouse is somewhat inbetween, it's not an obvious number one but it is remarkably catchy. It's driven by a sleak creeping baseline, supplied by Tony Kanal former bass player in No Doubt and co writer of this track. This track has some great lines; "Pictures framing up the past, your taunting smirk behind the glass". I have to say this is my favorite Pink track off the new album, unashamedly a guilty pleasures. Great video too.

So it took a car advert to relaunch the careers of Siamian Mobile Disco but boy are we glad to have them back. Granted they weren't floundering, they were big on the london club seen but they weren't getting regular rotation on MTV hits and they probably weren't making that much money. So what of Audacity Of Huge well it's a confused single, it doesn't sound like Calvin Harris at least which is a relief, it's good to see a band stretching out and trying to sound new. However the computer squelching and the retro dance sound hardly screams club banger but it's a passable beat. The absolute show stealer are the vocals, it's the best lyrics I've heard from a straight dance act in a long time. There both witty and heartfelt at the same time, they list all the cool things they have whether it be friendship with "the sultan of Brunei" or whether it be sorbet, however it builds to the touching punchline "I've got it all, yes it's true, So why don't I get you". I certainly know the feeling, a killer track let down by a limp and retrospective beat.

Relapse was pretty pathetic and it's spawned two pretty forgettable singles, one with Eminem's take it or leave it silly voice and one with the faked angry voice. Beautiful certainly feels more real, which is a welcome improvement, but Em doesn't sound remotely inspired. Beautiful is ultimately a passable album track at best.

Pete Doherty will always have a loyal fan base who will devour his every release with relish, but for the rest of us his act is wearing thin. Broken Love Song will restore some faith, it replaces his rosy romanticism for epic tragedy, and as a far as big acoustic ballads go it's pretty good, but that's it, there's little evidence here of a prodigious talent let alone a musical genius. Well worth a download but don't get your hopes up, Pete's always inclined to dissapoint.

Wales has always had a hit a miss record when it comes to producing rock stars, for every Manic Street Preachers there's a Stereophonics, unforunately the Blackout are closer to the latter than the former. Every inch of Save Our Selves is indebted and re-hashed, however what the Blackout lack in creativity they make up for in catchy hooks and crafty melodies. That said I find the vocals particularly grating and wish they had been left in the past as a relic of the early two thousands, yet in certain sections this will go down a storm. This is the sound of a band happy with their sound, happy with the audience and pandering to it. Three albums in you have to ask the question; Is this all there really is to the Blackout?

Amelle never really looked right in Sugababes did she? Like she's was onloan from a modelling agency more than a member of the earthy British girl group. She looks far more natural singing the hook for R'n'B tracks like this one. A month ago I might have let Tinchy off, however after D.O.A. and Jay Z's state of the union address I simpy can't abide this track. As Jay Z said rappers are "T-Paining too much" and Tinchy is more guilty than most. The track is a solid single, but its simply too bland and forgettable for belief. Tinchy's honeymoon period is officially over, right..........now.

Bass Balls is a very hard song to dislike. It's as silly as the name would suggest, driven by a fuzzy bassline, kind of like Eagles of Death Metal on crack....or erh...should that be even more crack, and some nice subtly guitar work and hand claps. It's retro but it's groovy electro punk funk and taken at face value and nothing more, it's an enjoyable single, I've certainly heard worse.

Wow it's been a big week for singles, I've already reviewed eight!!! But I promised to broaden my horizons so I will continue to do so, lets see whats out in Europe this week.

So your formula for evil commercial pop success: Take one hot girl, add one novelty pop hit, cover it stripping it of all it's charm and then get Basshunter to be your producer. The result? Mind numbing cheese.

I sincerly hope this doesn't catch on anywhere, let alone here, as much as I love Dragostea Din Tei it really doesn't work when sung by anyone other than Ozone. "Hello, it's me, Picaso" was a deliciously tongue in cheek moment that could only make you smile, "Hello, it's me, Alina" sung devoid of all charm is just cyncial garbage. Garbage like this should be left in the 90s.

Now the last track I reviewed was technically a cover and I'm supposed to be experiencing new music so I head back to Europe and pull out another "gem". Stamp On The Ground makes me long for Scooter, and that's about all I have to say, and about all this track deserves.