Daveportivo's Cultural Evaluation Facility

Joe Cole has always been my favorite player, I've never seen another player like him in my life. When he first broke onto the scene with West Ham all those years back he wowed us with the greatest array of flicks and tricks imaginable and won player on the month in his first month in the Premier League. His best perfomance came against Arsenal, he lined up in central midfield against the legendary Patrick Viera and he made him look pedestrain, he left Veira on his arse at least six times, it was one of the most amazingly dominant performances I've ever seen. His movement was incredible and his first step and sudden burst of acceleration had Arsenal scrambling, they never managed to get a grip of the ball, couldn't control the midfield and couldn't beat West Ham. Joey was easily the man of the match and in all my years of watching West Ham I never saw him turn in a bad performance or give less than 100%. He's since gone on to bigger and better things, expanded his game, switched positions and become England's only continental style footballer. He's become a fixture in the England and is always given a standing ovation when he returns to the Boleyn Ground.

I only got to see David Beckham in the flesh once it was in a 5-3 defeat to Manchester United, and he was simply ridiculous. Man Utd went behind three times and each time Beckham came to the rescue. First he lobbed David James from outside the box on the right wing, it's one of the most spectacular goals I've ever seen. Beckham judged the weight of the ball perfecly, it was completely unsavable. He didn't stop there he went on to get two more assists and put in some of the most devasting crosses imaginable. His work rate was extremely good, Vladmir Labant was causing Gary Neville all kinds of problems and Beckham had to work doubly hard to help his partner out. Sometimes you wonder if a player is overated, but having seen Beckham turn in a performance of this magnitude I've never questioned his abilities since.

Now Rigobert song is widely considered one of the worst signings Harry Redknapp made for West Ham, and I wouldn't disagree with anyone who wished to make that case, and yet, the one time I saw Rigobert in the flesh he won the Man of the Match award and put in the greatest centre back performance I've ever seen. It was mind boggling, this was not the bumbling Song I'd seen on tv, famed for being the youngest player ever sent off in the world cup, considered a laughing stock at Liverpool, no, this was the captain of Cameroon, the player who gives it his all and is considered a national hero back home. He won every header and constantly charged up field deep into the oppositions half, creating chances and even had a series of piledriving shots well saved.

Yes that's right Tim Flowers, and not while he was an England keeper at Blackburn but in the twilight of his career at Leicester. On a rainy tuesday evening Leicester city travelled to East London and I was lucky enough to be sitting right behind the goal for one of the best goal keeping performance I've seen in the flesh, and it tops alot of performances I've seen on TV (except Petr Cech against Ghana). Leciester would run out 1-0 winners and I can garentee you they had approximately one shot in the entire game, for the other eight nine minutes Tim Flower's goal was battered from every angle imaginable, Lampard, Berkovic, Cole, Di Canio, Sinclair, none could get past Flowers. Most remarkably of all, he seemed to hold everything, no matter how hard it was struck or how close to the corner. The Leicester fans chanted "Englands Number One" after kick off and all the West Ham fans joined in. (that is the actual picture from the post game).

Yossi Benayoun finally earned respect from the Liverpool fans last season, who had been foolishly bashing him, by being easily there best player down the stretch. Seeing Yossi play is very similar to watching the young Joe Cole. The ball seems glued to his feet and while he's not particularly fast he has an incredible first step and great burst of accerleration. Yossi really stepped it up for West Ham against Fulham a few seasons back. West Ham were struggling stuck in the relegation zone and needing a result. The team was listless and fell behind and Yossi took it upon his shoulders to wake the resigned crowd up and single handedly turned the game. He was untouchable throughout the ninety minutes, and scored two of the best goals (perhaps the two best goals) I've ever seen in the stadium. The first saw him round two defenders and delicately lob the goal keeper, the second saw Benayoun pick up the ball in midfeild play a series of one twos running half the lenght of the field and rounding the keeper for a sublime second. While the game would end a 3-3 draw, this was the first sign that there was fight left in West Ham, and proof that we could get results with or without Carlos Tevez.

Before we go lets look at my in person dream team: