Daveportivo's Cultural Evaluation Facility

Josh Homme is a funny fuckers isn't he? You wouldn't mess with him and you damn sure wouldn't want to spend a second inside his head. Homme and by extention the Queens of the Stonage are a flithy band, pure flith. Perhaps that's why they make such dirty sexy music, Rated R marked the shift in the Queens career from conventional rockers to dirty sleezey masters of the groove. In terms of songwritting Josh has two modes Sex and Drugs, and often both at the same time. I remember while seeing them at Hyde Park blowing through a visercal set Josh would say "This is a song about sex", "That song was about sex" and finally to a huge cheer "this songs called turning the screw and you better believe that's about fucking". Ultimately its an accurate critique of this band and it's album, its all about trippy brooding arrangements with a pulsating thrusting groove from a pounding rhythem section just listen to the long play out of I Think I Just Lost My Headache and there's no mistaking what's on this bands mind. Despite the popularity of hit makers Songs For The Deaf and Era Vulgaris this was the Queens at their best, its the only album that really hangs together with thoughful arrangements, it is like one long slow peadofilic screw errh......that's a good thing I think....well it feels good anyway....wait.....see this is the secret to this album its so wrong but it feels right. It also contains their best tracks. Has there even been a more powerful mission statement than Feel Good Hit Of The Summer with its simple chant "Nicotine, Valium, Vicodin, Marijuana, Extacsy and Alchohol...C....C...C....Cocaine". This album also contains the Queens two best singles Monster In Your Parasol and the superb Lost Art Of Keeping A Secret this album made them stars and remains their finest hour and their only truely great album.

Rap was desperately in need of a saviour at the begining of the decade, sure they had Jay Z and he was great but he never really had anything interesting to say, they had Outkast but they were always too big, too crazy, too rock, too R'n'B too different to be the centre piece of the industry. As for 50 Cent and Game well they were always too pop, they were funny no doubt but their flow was never credible. Nas would never be the comercial superstar so when Kanye strode onto the stage fully formed with the College Dropout he seemed too good to be true, amazing production, amazing swagger, incredible flow and best of all he had something to say but could he follow it up? Of course he could Kanye was destined for world domination. Late Registration settled all the questions Gold Digger owned the charts, it was simple, direct and had a huge hook but it also had scathing lyrics targeting consumerism. Then there was the Touch The Sky my favorite rap anthem of recent times its so joyous and unshameadly fun, it's the kind of fun record rap had been beggining for, it wasn't offensive, or brash, or crass, it was just uplifting awesomeness. Then came the serious shit Kanye slaughtered hood life and the drug trade in the brave album opener Heard 'Em Say and of course Kanye's best song, okay correction tied best song (Jesus Walks and Through The Wire take some bearting), the jaw dropping Diamonds From Sierra Leone Kanye is at his rage filled best slamming the blood for diamonds culture, but like all the best artists he has the Lily Allen style introspection, he doesn't wash his hands he admits to feeding the industry that he is decrying. However being a Kanye track its not just about the lyrics, the beat is superb and of course the Sherlie Bassie sample is a master stroke. Ultimately Kanye is the Roger Federer of the rap game, he's a superb all rounder, he doesn't over rely on anyone element its all about balance and his arrangements are as strong as his rhyme's. In Late Registration he crafted one of the most complete and accomplished rap records of all time.

Ah could there have been a better band for 2008 than

MGMT? I don't think so, their hopeful joyous psychadelic harmonies were just perfect for the year when hope returned to the world. I don't mean to get all soppy and sentimental, but in the year that Barack Obama restored the world's faith in politics and the American dream seemingly overnight washing away the Bush legacy there couldn't have been a more perfect synchoronization than the rise of Obama and the rise of MGMT. MGMT were just what the record industry needed, they brough so much imagination, innocence and naivity to the table. After the brutal realism of the Streets, the Arctics and Lily Allen it was time to escape into fantasy. MGMT brought gorgeous sweeping arrangements beautiful harmonies and simple concepts and ideals that everyone could cling to. Whether it was the wonderous Weekend Wars or the lovely hymnal can't of The Youth ("The Youth Are Starting To Change") it was uplifting, it was hopefully, it was joyous and then they brought it all together in one big "sexy party" in Electric Feel. However Kids remains the stand out track not because of its inresistable in your face riff but because of the strenght of its lyrics in the heart of the climate change debate could there be a better sentiment than "Control Yourself, Take Only What You Need From It". It sums everything up so succinctly, but the song is more than that, its the tale of the carefree adventures of childhood, it was the rallying cry of carefree hippism for a knew generation, relax, have fun and takecare of each other. Their imagery is staggering "Memories Fade / Like Looking Through A Fog Mirror" clever stuff indeed. The influences on this album are perhaps a little too obvious but that's hardly a weakness, this album was never about critiques and seriousness this is a celebration of love, life and they way things should be, and it couldn't be a bigger success. I feel its best to leave with the final word to MGMT and there unstoppable anti-consumerism greed culture anthem The Handshake (If only we'd heeded their warning) "Black Tears, Black Smile, Black Credit Cards And Shoes / You Can Call All The People You Want / It's You Whose Being Used". So who cares if the world is fucked up it's Time To Pretend.

It's again poetic justice that Oracular Spectatular

and Magic came back to back, because just as MGMT perfectly summed up the new optimism of Obama (as did Springsteen's Working On A Dream), Magic was the return of an American songwriting legend just when America needed it most. They'd had the disasters of September 11th, the Bush administration, Hurricane Katrina, Iraq, Afghanistan and the general wank that filled the American rock charts. Well Springsteen came out with fire in his belly and rage, with a state of the union adress, huge honest songwriting, the Boss was back, he was hungry and urgent. Radio Nowhere was the shot in the dark as big a single as he'd ever released in his career setting the music industry and the world to rights, with his screams of "Is There Anyone Alive Out There". Bruce came out in support of Kerry and then Obama and suddenly twenty years on he was the voice of a new generation. However this wasn't just an album of posturing this was a great urgent work, the E Street Band were back and his sound was beefed up You'll Be Coming Down was big vital with the vocals climbing atop a wall of noise. If anything the production on this album is frustratingly polished but it doesn't stop the raw soul and the power of tracks like Last To Die from shining. Livin In The Future best sums up Springsteens new found agnst and it's also that track that deshackles the E Street band and lets the sax really tear it up, because after all its those huge Sax solos that make Springsteen records so great in the first place. Springsteen isn't always in an urgent mood there's the delicate and sublime Girls In Their Summer Clothes its not all smiles but it strikes the balence between uplifting music and complex sentiment and it would have been perfect for the Glastonbury sun had he played it. Magic the title track is a hang over from The Rising but its a stripped down and one of the few tracks were the cracks in Bruce's voice aren't disguised and its incredibly touching and could there be a poignant warning than "Trust None Of What You Hear / Less Of What You See". So the Boss is back and staggeringly bigger than ever, his influence is spreading wildly once again, and he's headlining Glastonbury. Magic may not be the greatest album of the decade but rarely has an album seem more vital and more welcome.

American's are deuches when it comes to music aren't they? Don't get me wrong we have it over here too, if a band gets big, or threatens to get big you get people suddenly pretending to hate them for no apparent reason but in America its almost a way of life. There has always been the ongoing war between Metallica fans and metal fans and even new Metallica fans, but then of course in 2001 the deuche bag debate went necluar when the three coolest rock and roll bands on planet all came from New York. The Strokes, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Interpol all came at the same time and all added a different key ingredient to the ressurection of rock/indie music worldwide. However American's seemingly missed out, The Strokes were never welcomed as heroes, Karen O isn't recognised as the coolest woman walking the face of the earth and well Interpol never really got their just deserts as heart breaking songwriters. Had the US been paying attention to Turn On The Bright Lights in 2002 they'd have been blown away. With its pure gritty emotion pull. Interpol will always be compared to Joy Division its inevitable, and its an impossibly high standard to live up to. However the guitar work is jagged and Bank's vocals are very reminiscant of Curtis but to simply call them clones in a White Lies vain would be far too simplistic reading. The aggresive punk spirit of Joy Division is lacking from Interpol and in its place is a haunting rythmic arrangements. The key to this album is consistancy, each song is a potent as the last, and the songwritting never lets up, Bank's is dripping with heart wrenching lines. "She Puts The Weight Into My Little Heart, And She Gets In My Room And She Takes It Apart", "Friends Don't Waste Wine, When There's Words To Sell / I Think Love Is In The Kitchen With A Culinary Eye, Think he's Making Something Special And I'm Smart Enough To Try". It's clever stuff and it doesn't relent, and while they may appear one dimensional, you soon discover that Banks has a wit to match his depressed croon, theirs a pinch of Morrissey to match his Curtis. It's a potant combination, brutal, bleak and brilliant. One of the most influencial albums in the indie revolution.

It's too late now, yes, it's too late now, because you've not been "PAYIN' ATTENTION!!! PAYIN' ATTENTION!!! PAYIN ATTENTION!!! You've not been paying attention". Sorry I just couldn't resist, how could I honestly, sometimes an album just explodes into life with such urgency and such unstoppable feriocity you can't resist. Well I hope you've been paying attention to this list, and I hope you've been paying attention to Radiohead because 2+2=5 is not only one of the greatest album openers ever it's their best live track, when Thom really gets to have some fun. It's not all fury, there's that creepy build up "January has April Showers, And Two and Two Always Equals Five" absolute genius. You'd have been excused for thinking when you heard this back in 2003 "thank chirst, the old Radiohead I know and love are back", well you'd have been half right, Hail To The Thief feels like a transitional record, Radiohead returning from the edge with Kid A before finding their natural roles on In Rainbows. And it's for that very reason that this album is so thrilling, you never quite know what your going to get. There's the opening trashs of 2+2=5, then its back to the computer fartery blip zipper apocalyptic mobile phone meltdown of Sit Down, Stand Up then its back to a traditional haunting ballad in the Nude model in the form of Sail To The Moon. This was an odd album for Radiohead, rushed their second fastest in recording time, and it was made up of new songs and songs from the Kid A sessions. Hail To The Thief is in a tricky position its neither their most creative, nor their most popular, nor their most huanting, it's a real mix, but it is their best produced, the songs are constantly slick and intriguing, while you might not be sure what's lurking round the corner whether its the spiraling hook of Go To Sleep or the electronic meltdown of Myxomatosis you can garentee it will sound gorgeous. All in all Hail To The Thief is an album that contains some of Radiohead's best and most beautiful work, take one listen to The Gloaming if you need your memory refreshed, it's a rare chance to see a band in transition, before they settled on an indentity but simultaniously proving that ultimately they can do whatever the fuck they want, because it will be brilliant, if that brash conclusion upsets you, well, There There.

We've already talked about how Blur won the Brit Pop war, and how Damon Albarn became one of the greatest cultural forces in the world. I mean seriously can you imagine Noel Gallagher with a musical or starting a supergroup with former Clash members or having the creativity to start a band of cartoon characters and redefine what it is to be a band? No of course not, but Liam does have a clothing line, I'm sure Tom Ford is preparing to commit suicide a the

sheer thought of such an unholy abortion. Blur similarRadiohead, and its another cosy coincedience that Hail To The Thief and Think Tank came back to back, ended up being sick of what made them so famous in the first place Creep was Radiohead's Iron Lung and Country House became the embodiment of Blur's self loathing, Damon hated the arrogant character he'd created and Graham, well he just hated being in the band so their response was 13 brave, emotional and anything but accesible straight up pop. So it came time for 2003's Think Tank and Blur like Radiohead were in transition, they'd had a creative high point allienated half the fan base and lost a guitarist in the process. They'd also released a stunning half way house single the subversive Music Is My Radar so when Think Tank rolled around a broken, confused, deflated failure was expected, thing is Blur don't do failure. They crafted one of the most complete and creative albums of their career, bringing in William Orbit and Norman Cook for production duties they sounded different, bolder and brasher than their peers. The thing is with Blur as much as they try to be different and abbrasive they just can't help but write beautiful pop songs Think Tank spawned the tremdous ballads Out Of Time, Good Song and Sweet Song. Then there's the Norman Cook productions the silly bounce along fun of Crazy Beat, arguably Blur's worst single but now it seems like a walk down memory lane and the infinitely better Gene by Gene. The infulences and infulences are wide ranging, but Arabia takes centre stage on the gorgeous On The Way To The Club, Caravan and Moroccan People's Revolutionary Bowls Club. Looking back now with Blur reformed we can reflect, while people will always chose to remember Parklife and Country House it's their two final works 13 and Think Tank that are the epitome to Blur's unrelenting brilliance. So think back Oasis vs. Blur, it's not even a contest ever since Oasis's one perfect moment Definitely Maybe Blur have been shitting on them from a hundred feet.

"So Yes I Guess I'm Asking You / To Back A Horse That's Good For Glue / And Nothing More" affectively in 2008 this is what Elbow were asking the world to do. After three albums of consistantly strong materiel, really good stuff, Elbow had never quite managed to make it big, they had a passionate fan base, but they weren't poppy enough to be huge, nor critically acclaimed enough to be a British Arcade Fire. Always fours never fives. Well The Seldom Seen Kid changed all that, while it may not be OK Computer it is a classic in its own right, and fully deserved the Mecury Music Prize. While I have to admit Elbow have never really been one of my favorite bands, whenever I have listened to their albums I've always been impressed with the scope of their song writting and the subtly of their arrangements. The Seldom Seen Kid brought it all together in a way which Leaders Of The Free World never really threaten to do, this was an album that when people saw the great reviews they would immediately fall for. The key to Elbow has always been Guy Carver, when this man is dispensing his honest I love yous, and stories of heart break, he's incredibly believable, there is a great depth of honesty in his voice. Like Springsteen before him, its the cracks in his voice that rather than weakening the record add depth, fragility and beauty to the work. The Seldom Seen Kid as see's Guy's most potent lyrical performance, his consistancy is remarkable, he drops brilliant cuplets and concepts at will. The undoubted highlight is An Audience With The Pope, a simple tale that everyone can relate to, when you fall for a girl so bad, that all you can think about is her, your life, your well being, your family all become secondary to her, you wait by the phone, your whole day depends on her, I'm sure you know the feeling and Carvey nails it better than any before him with pure straight forward clarity "Where Could She Be? Was That A Minute Or An Hour...Where Could She Be? The World Is Turning At Her Pace....I Have An Audience With The Pope / I'm Saving The World At Eight / But If She Said She Needs Me / Then Everybody's going to have to wait". It's simple straight forward, these are themes that everyone can relate to. On top of all that The Seldom Seen Kid is also home to Elbow's two biggest and best singles to date the majestic On A Day Like This and the bar room romper stomper Grounds For Divorce. Proof that persistance and consistancy will be rewarded.

Bjork is a funny little lady isn't she, considering how arty and excentric her work can be, I'm always suprised by how charming and ordinary she comes accross in interviews, she's a little quirky but she mostly comes accross as a nice lady. I shouldn't really be suprised becaused after all these days artistic, weird and excentric actually means non mainstream, music that is designed for the pop charts, hell Bach would be considered a weirdo if he were around today. Bjork is always suprising and just when you think you've got her figured out she throws you a curve ball, and there was no bigger curve ball than Medulla. In case your not familar with her work and this superb album this is Bjork's a capella album. I should point out right off the bat its not just her singing. Bjork masterfully crafts her melodies and her saprona over the top and betwixt beat boxing and choiral arrangements. Of course occasional there's are gong or a snyth but other than running her voice through a computer or two this is pretty much all generated from the human vocal chords. The results are staggering. There's the haunting Vokuro sung entirely in Icelandic and the results are ellequent and exquisite. Then there's the machine gun blasts of Where Is The Line which sounds a bit pedestrian until the thundering beat box baseline kicks in and choir swirls around Bjork's straight forward vocal. The longer the album goes the less and less Bjork seems to be the star and the divine arrangements begin to steal the show. There's the crazy Ancestors and crazy is the word, the arrangement is baffling and almost scary, assualting you from every dirrection you almost fell like theirs a speaker in your head. Wailing, snorting, humming and cooing, it's like you have a horror movie monster in one ear and the damsel in distress in the other. It's uncomfortable creepy but like nothing you've ever heard before or since. So you've been freaked the fuck out by Ancestors and then your hit by the beautifully barmy Triumph Of A Heart, it's Bjork going from her most inaccesible to her most accesible, it's a unparrelled music journey. Oceania and Who Is It round of the album in uplifting fashion especially the latter. Medulla truly is a landmark album, so creative, so different, so beautiful, and so poignant, Bjork tackles racism and post 9/11 America head on, this is a special work that feels like it came down from out of space, utterly timeless.

There were few more anticipated debut records than M.I.A's Arular after some shell shocking Diplo produced mixtapes and promos the world was set to be M.I.A's in 2005. Now its one thing being ready and waiting for the next big thing, but nothing could prepare us for Arular. When this record dropped, everything else in the music industry became obsolete. Arular wasn't the best record of the year, it isn't even M.I.A's best record but Arular was a world wide awakening. The music world up until this point was black and white, rockers thrashed on guitars and sung about girlfriends, rappers rapped about bitches, hos and drugs, and pop was well pop, but M.I.A was undefinable she was new. Arular was glorious technicolour. It's was dirty, sexy, cocky, powerful, it's was literally everything, seemingly at once. I'll save the rest of my M.I.A speech till a little later on, but in 2005 M.I.A was different, not in the way Bjork was different, M.I.A was the twenty first century superstar, but not like Lily Allen either, M.I.A made crazy beautiful music and spoke for her whole generation, but not just for music critics in New York and Camden, and she wasn't just the voice of twenty somethings in England or the US. M.I.A was the voice of Dehli, Melbourne, Cape Town, Brooklyn, Brixton, Paris, every bloody where, this record was global. However, unfortunately this album wasn't perfect, it was the warning shot, M.I.A was criticised and rightly so for not having anything to say, M.I.A brought us drums from African, beats from Oceania, synths from Paris and swagger from London town, but she didn't bring us the stories or the struggles of those cities, that was to come. With her debut M.I.A painted the town every colour of the rainbow and more, I think she even created several new glow in the dark colours that the world had never seen before. This was a party record full of club bangers, Pull Up The People, Fire Fire, 10$, Galang and Bucky Dun Gun were monsters, that would be sampled and remix to buggery. So what if M.I.A was rapping about fucking blokes, being awesome in bed, and generally being shallow, she was bloody brilliant, and a few years later she was going to get awfully deep. So welcome to the outerspacial world nightclub, the decades GREATEST artist had just induced herself to the world.