Daveportivo's Cultural Evaluation Facility

Christ thanks to the terrible name (TNA) and the ridiculous poster, it now does actually look like I'm reviewing porn, geez, they really have to change the name of this garbage.

Wow this was an absolute clunker, not utterly horrible and not their own personal worst either but it just didn't flow, I think everyone and their mother misses Gail Kim by now. Oh so you opening your show you want to get the crowd all warmed up what do you do, screw over the babyface in a high convoluted manner of course. Yawn. (*)

Christ two people I really don't want to see on my TV screen at all, but worst of all wrestling each other. Matt Morgan is just beyond horrible in every way, wrestling skills, look, charisma, he's dated and he's horrible. Daniels is completely bland, has moderate skills and flashy spots, he was suposed to carry the match no suprise he couldn't. Utterly forgetable. (1/2*)

God that was painful to type let alone to reminis bout. This was your geek show, pathetic loser match, which has no place on TV in 2009, it's purely there to amuse the goofs who actually turned up to watch this live. Oh this match even had a goofy gimmicked taser. It looks like the end of Doctor Stevie hopefully Daffney can go to the knockouts division and get away from this garbage. Offensive and dated. (*1/4)

Well this was another match that didn't really serve any purpose it's just an excuse to get Team 3D out there to do their routine to entertain the thousand or so people in attendence. I don't have a problem with this, were it not one of a several matches designed to placate individuals that have nothing to do with making money or putting on a good show. That said Team 3D should be on PPV preferably opening the show and warming up the crowd. Formulaic and Forgetable. (*1/2)

Yes this was a match and it is undoubtably the worst match of the year. Seriously nothing has a chance to top this. Jenna has no business being in a ring, and while I have to admit her ring entrance and lap dance pin were probably the most entertaining thing on this show (god that's depressing) this was still beyond horrible. They botched everything imaginable, a total disgrace to the industry, you have to wonder isn't the point of having surrogates (Kong and Bolt) that they wrestle on your behalf not sit around doing nothing. And yes the post match, made no sense either. Worst Match Of The Year (Neg. -***3/4)

Nothing says hugely important PPV match like wrestling for a made up title. Yes this is the belt that Booker created for himself, yes he just made it and walked in with it, and then randomly started defending. See if I where in TNA I'd create the TNA Ultimate God Of The Universe belt and never defend it, seeing as apparently that's how the rules work in TNA. Anyway AJ did his best creating movement but it was a Nash match what do you expect. Lumbering. (*3/4)

Well this match made Kevin Nash look like Evan Borne, this was slow formulaic bag of tricks stuff with Booker still refusing to put any effort in, at least Scotty tries and he can be damn entertaining, this however was not the less said the better. Zzzzzzzzz. (*)

So Kurt Angle is crippled due to injury and can barely move, Mick Foley is a used up out of shape peice of shit and actually manages to look worse than Kurt Angle who is working through a legit injury. Sadly with two guys in absolutely no shape to wrestle they had easily the best match of the show, how sad is that. Oddly Kurt promised the fans this wouldn't be a great match he would mawl Mick Foley, so what did he do, yes you've guess it wrestle his regular match at half speed. All In All A Triumph Over Adversity. (**1/4)