Daveportivo's Cultural Evaluation Facility

This week its 3-4 to the UK. Last week Dana threw out Peirce for being complete and utter vagina, so he's being replaced so Dana talks with the various losers from the US team and asks them if they want it Miller and Lester both want to do it even with a broken nose and four missing teeth respectively.

Pierce says he's not scared to feet, Cameron, Santino, Damarquez and Lester all rip the shit out of him saying "fuck Pierce he's a pussy". Lester and Miller both really want the fight and are training hard. Dan Henderson comes into the jim and says Lester has been cleared to fight and Miller hasn't because of his broken nose. Dana says he's impressed with Lester for wanting to fight with no teeth and a busted up eye, Dana says that's what sepergaes regular people from fighters.

Damarquez begins to question Dan Henderson's coaching ability as Henderson wants to tame Frank Lester's style making him fight more conservatively and not go in and fight like a mad man. Dan Henderson ask Bisping to swap training times and get the afternoon session, Bisping gets in his face and says its total rubbish "you want me to bend over and take it in the arse" bwahhahaha Henderson says "Bisping was a little bitch about it". Bisping says he's going to talk it over. The UK team comes in and they say it's a "resounding no".

The two teams argue and Damarquez says they should go "Battle royal style", Bisping said he'd go head first for Damarquez if they did, it'd suit him fine, Damarquez says that would suit him fine. Dan jokes about giving him another game of tennis.

Bisping squirts water in Damarquez's face and has ago at him for racist coments, Cameron admits it was him and Bisping apologises to the US Team and then goes to apologise to Damarquez but he walks of oooooooh.....Dan says Bisping throws little hissy fits when things don't go his way. Damarquez says he'll happily fight Bisping in a parking lot.

We then go to the UK team training and it's 9:00 am, Bisping thinks its bullshit he's been forced to change times. Faulkner is still struggling with his mouth guard so they've got him a hypnotherapist??? She says she's going to reprogramme his sub conscious mind. She reads this ridiculously scripted promo in a lame monotone voice. Lester is equally struggling with mental problems he's having nightmares about being hit in the face.

Dave Faulkner (2-1) vs. Frank Lester (3-2)

My Prediction: Tough one to call I'd imagine it'd go 4-4 to make for a better series but I think Faulkner will have to much for him, he'll have to dodge the heavy hands of Lester. I'll go for Faulkner by submission

Round One: Faulkner gets a leg kick, and then an inside leg kick, Lester responds with a leg kick of his own. Bisping tells Lester to stop messing around. Dave gets another leg kick. Not much action in this one. Faulkner catches Lester coming in with a jab and takes Faulkner in the clinch into the cage. Faulkner goes for a takedown but Frank blocks and gets double underhooks and both men seperate. Lester throws some hands but Faulkner blocks and catches Lester with a right hook and shoots for a takedown he gets it but Lester stands up quickly. Faulkner hits an uppercut as they come off the cage. Dave lands a glancing counter hook, Faulkner looks gassed as Lester swings wildly connecting with nothing but air. They clinch against the cage as the round ends.

That was a pretty terrible round, not much going on, if this were a typical round it'd be 10-9 to Faulkner but TUF doesn't work like that.

Round Two: Faulkner's gum shield comes out and they have a time out. Faulkner gets a leg kick but gets tagged when he tries to chase Lester. Dave blocks a high kick and a wild swing and we go to the clinch again. They break again and both men throw hands Dave connects with the clean strikes but Frankie shows continued agression before they go to the clinch again, where Faulkner works some uppercuts and Frank goes for the knock out knee strikes as does Faulkner but there is little int he way of connection. Faulkner is totally gassed and is throwing incredibly loose hands. They go to the clinch but nothing comes of it they release and throw some incredibly tired hands. Lester hits a straight right with Faulkner's guard down but it does nothing, Faulkner dodges two strikes and goes to the clinch. Faulkner gets a knee and then hits a straight right.

Faulkner is the more skilled fighter but he has absolutely no stamina, Faulkner is much more precise but he's so tired. I give that 10-9 Lester. Faulkner says he's done and says he won't come out of his corner. And the fight is over? God that's pretty terrible, worst fight of the series by a mile. Can't believe he quit. Lester wins by Forfit? (F+)

Bisping is pissed off with everyone chanting USA and the nature of the defeat, Bisping is insanely pissed off, he can't believe the way Faulkner gave in. Faulkner enjoyed the fight but was just too tired. Bisping takes the four semi finalists aside and says that Dave was fucking Pathetic, and they agree, he tells them that your here to win and he doesn't want to see any of these four vagina out.

Overall Thoughts: This was probably the absolute best episode on the drama and reality TV side of things, with Bisping running around being a total prick and an absolute dude in then process. It's odd I should like Dan Henderson because he's humble and nice but he's coaching a bucnch of twats, where as Bisping is funny, annoying and a total deuche most of the time but he's training a team of nice guys so I find my self wanting Bisping to kill everyone. The fight let this otherwise excellent episode down. (8.5/10)