Daveportivo's Cultural Evaluation Facility

Okay they've said the names so bloody fast this season I'll have to try and catch up as we go along. The house looks a lot more normal than the mega ghetto paint job I'm used to from series 9. Dana White is seriously impressed, now its time to announce the teams. They flip a coin and Rampage wins.

Okay they pick teams but I couldn't really keep up as they kept just saying their first names. One guy looks like he might have herpies so in the worlds of Rampage they "quarentined his arse". Rampage says his goal is to learn as well as teach. Rampage wants to know if he can train, Rampage tells them to kick him away "like your in prison and he's trying to get your booty". Rampage asks a doctor if called Jason Micheals if he's related to Shawn Michaels, what a dude. One guy has herpies on his neck that's trigger if he has herpies Rampage says "I don't want no heebee geebees", "do you like running, good, because if you said no I'd have told you too bad". That "dudes got cooties on his neck", Rampage is absolutely making this show.

Forrest is up next saying he's never been a coach, he would never want to be, but he knows how to run a training camp. Forrest has brought in a Muay Thai coach, a Jiu-Jitsu coach and Gray Manyard of UFC fame to coach wrestling. "as Shakespeare said "to thyself be true", I don't know what the fuck he meant by that, but don't quit on yourself, the juice is worth the squeeze, there will be absolutely no clapping". This is absolutely insane, where did they get these guys.

Dana White has to tell the guy with Herpies to go, the guy breaks out in tears and he begs for another chance. It's a quite emotional moment, Dana has a hard job, the guy cries saying he doesn't have a job anymore, he gave up his life coaching wrestling for this. He says he's stuck with nothing now, he can't do either of his loves. Rampage tells him everything happens for a reason. The guy has to back up all his things and go home.

If we hadn't had enough drama already its fight selection time. Forrest announces Mike Dolce vs. Jesse Taylor. The plan is to beat one of Rampage's toughest guys to send a message. Forrest says Jesse Taylor is too good he might quit cause he doesn't need a trainer he's the next Matt Hamill. Dolce on the other hand used to be a tax collector, Rampage says "who cares if he's only a little bit taller than a hobbit, he's tough".

Dana tells Rampage to bring back one of the losers, he first picks one whose got an injured leg and then picks one whose still here before picking Patrick Shcultz. This guy seems like a total deuchebag.

Rampage comes into the house, one guy just lives at home with his mum and doesn't have a job. Rampage said "I was so broke I had to wear my brothers old underwear, they were leapard skin shit". Rampage is insanely funny in the house, Rampage has definitely won over his team. Jesse Taylor is a complete twat. They show Jesse Taylor struggling to use the diswasher.

(Forrest) Jesse Taylor (6-2) vs. Mike Dolce (4-4) (Rampage)

Round One: Jesse goes for a takedown but Dolce stuffs it and unloads but Taylor gets a rear naked choke but Dolce manages to fight out of it excellently but Taylor skill has back control and goes for a takedown and choke again but this time Dolce can spin into the half mount and Dolce rains down strikes, Jesse goes for a guillotine but Dolce escapes and Taylor wrestles into side control. Taylor goes for a mount but Dolce turns to his back and yet again Taylor cannot capitalize. Taylor lays in some strikes and goes for the rear naked choke but Dolce escapes again and Taylor attempts to ground and pound. Taylor hits three big strikes but Dolce manages to take them. Taylor tries to pound it out but Dolce gets his guard back as the round ends.

Round Two: Dolce catches Taylor with a big hook but sucks it up and gets the takedown and works from inside Dolce's guard. Taylor passes guard and drops elbows. Taylor gets a mount with ease and begains to unload with a series of big blows, Dolce gives up his back and Taylor locks in the rear naked choke and this time he gets the win. God he's such a twat.

Good grounded fight non stop movements and energy, Jesse looked very impresive but I'd like to see how he fares against someone with a good takedown defence. Solid fight. (D+)

Dolce gets knocked out and Jesse is happy to earn ten grand courtesy of burger king.

Overall Thoughts: Great show, Rampage and Forrest are two of the best personalities they could have possible chosen for this show, even if they both look like terrible coaches. The fight was pretty good but the show was full of drama, emotion and comedy. Great stuff. (9/10)