Daveportivo's Cultural Evaluation Facility

Yes with the 100th show coming up I thought I'd go back to the first ever show and see how it all began. The first difference is already notable theres no time limmit, no draws, no judges, and no rules. The commentator BURBS!!! No shit he burbs during the intro. NFL legend Jim Brown is on commentary and he BURBS too, no way. Another major difference its all kind of diferent styles kick boxing, jiu-Jitsu, boxing, Tae Kwando, Karate, Savate, Wrestling and Sumo, yes Sumo. It's all one discipline stuff. This is such a contrast there's a long intro, god if I didn't know who was going to win already you'd bank on Jiu-Jitsu. With the way this is set up no wonder everyone thought this was an outlaw, inhuman sport this just seems sick.

Quarter Final
Teila Tuli (Sumo) vs. Gerard Gordeau (Savate)

They ring the bell and Tuli tries to rush and slips and Tuli gets caught with a massive kick and Tuli has a cut under the eye and the mouth. They show the replay and you can see Tuli tooth go flying fuck. The doctors and team come in and the referee stops it, holy shit. No idea what the decision is, everyone is confused and they call the fight. Gordeau wins the fight in about tens seconds.

What a clusterfuck of a way to start Sumo is just a ridiculous style for this kind of sport, especially with no other types of skills. If you ever wonder why its illegal to kick a downed opponent this is why. Sick knock out avoids a dud. (E)

Quarter Final
Kevin Rosier (Kick Boxing) vs. Zane Frazier (Karate)

Round One: Zane circles around and Kevin hits some overhand strikes and goes after Zane on the floor. Zane gets sup and they throw low, Zane gets a blatant strike to groin and unloads with knees while pulling the hair the crow are going nuts. They get stuck in the clinch for along time Zane gets a monseterous uppercut and a big straight right hand. KEVIN ISN'T USING A GUARD??? Zane pops him with another uppercut and Kevin hasn't been able to get off the cage. Zane gets a big knee to the gut and then throws some hands. Zane gets a takedown and neither man has any skills. Zane hits a straight knee to the face. Kevin is ragged and he still isn't USING A FUCKING GUARD. Kevin is totally gassed. Zane hits a straight right hands, Kevin unloads with some big wild horrible strikes an Kevin throws SEVEN RABBIT PUNCHES AND A STOMP TO THE BACK OFF THE HEAD OF A DOWNED OPPONENT!!!! They throw in the towel. Kevin Rosier wins by TKO late in the first round.

My god this is so unproffesional its incredible, I can't believe it, Kevin admits to have no game plan, Kevin says he just planned to take it. I enjoy a good fight but no rules bare knuckles stuff is just so scarily dangerous. Entertaining, sloppy, horrible and terrifying fight all in one. (D-)

Jim Brown has some suprisingly good analysis.

Quarter Final
Royce Gracie (Jiu-Jitsu) vs. Art Jimmerson (Boxing)

Round One: Gotta feel bad for Art boxing has no business in MMA as a single dicsipline but of all the fighting styles to come up against Jiu-Jitsu, he never had a hope in hell. Royce goes for a kick to the leg and you can see that Art doesn't know how to deal with the kicks. The crowd boo as Art won't get involved. Royce gets a sudden takedown and Royce takes the ground. Art is doing his best to avoid Royce holding onto his Jersey. Art Jimmerson taps out. Royce Gracie wins by submission.

This is why boxing has no business is a proffesional MMA fight, Boxers just don't understand how to deal with anything, Art was scaried of leg strikes and Art was completely shitted it on the ground. If your a boxer you have to learn another Discipline. There wasn't a strike or submission in the fight Art just gave up. I can't understand why Art didn't close the gap and unload. (F)

Quarter Final
Ken Shamrock (Shoot Fighter) vs. Pat Smith (Tae Kwon Do)

Round One: This looks like a good fight. Ken goes for a takedown and gets a belly to belly takedown and holy shit Pat actually knows how to guard. Ken throws a right hand but Ken can't get out of his guard. Ken throws a hard punches to the gut. Ken goes straight too the ankle lock, Pat tries to smash his way out of the hold, he smashes and struggles but Ken turns the knee sideways and twists the shit out Pat's leg. Pat is really pissed off and still wants to go. Ken wins by Submission in 1:57.

Ken laughs off the fight at the end of the match, said this was easier than his fights in Japan because this guy didn't know submission the crowd are going mental shouting bull shit. Decent little fight there, its a shame the two best fighters are on the same side of the draw. Ken has a small cut on the top of his head. (D)

Jim Brown is bang on the money saying its a shame that the two best fighters are on the same side of the draw.

Semi-Final
Gerard Gordeau (Savate) vs. Kevin Rosier (Kick Boxing)

Round One: I've got to give major props to Kev he's a bum but if he lasts more than thirty seconds he's got a hell of a chin. At least this is a clean style match up. Gerard has managed to break his right hand smashing Tuli in the face in the first fight. Kevin's right eye is heavily tapped. Kevin throws a right and some kicks. Gerard gets a big leg kick. Gerard gets a straight and a big leg kick. Gerard rocks Keven hard with a straight right hand and he goes down, Kevin covers up and absorbs some huge shots and a brutal elbow strike has him down and out and a huge stomp to the gut ends the fight.

That elbow strike was brutal, another pretty sick knockout. Kevin says he's gonna go back to kick boxing. Kevin then blames it on the altitude. Kevin admits to being gassed. He's very humble he says he'll come back for the next fight. (E+)

Semi-Final
Ken Shamrock (Shoot Fighter) vs. Royce Gracie (Jiu-Jitsu)

Round One: The crowd are all over Ken Shamrock. Royce goes striaght for a takedown but Ken wrestle to avoid it and goes for a heel hook but Royce goes for a triangle, Royce ends up with a mount. Royce then locks in a kind of choke hold and Ken has to tap immediately.

Wow that was suprisingly short but it was action packed match. It looked like a rear naked choke in the end. Ken said he's not used to Jiu-Jitsu, Ken said he found it hard to take a leg and he forgot to protect his neck. Ken said next time he'd try to takedown Gracie next time and throw him. Ken said next time he'd be more prepared. (D)


Championship Match
Gerard Gordeau (Savate) vs. Royce Gracie (Jiu-Jitsu)

Round One: Gerard closes in Gracie goes for a takedown but doesn't get it. Gracie then tries a trip but can't get it. Royce gets a classic takedown. Royce gets the back but Gerard does a good job of fighting it off but Gracie gets it locked in and Gerard has to tap out like mad.

Well not much of a fight, very simple message don't mess with a dude who does Jiu-Jitsu. (E-)

Overall Thoughts: Horrible show, none of the fights were really any good, it was scarily how unruly it was back in the day. This card shows that rules actually make a sport much better. Only reason to watch this show other than for historical perspective is to see how awful a boxer is in a legit no rules fight. Just incase you didn't know already Jiu-Jitsu owns everything especially in single discipline. (2.5/10)