Daveportivo's Cultural Evaluation Facility

Swagger gets a double leg ammatuer takedown and then rolls into a front facelock. Christian responds with a huge bitchslap. Cage slides under Swagger and hits a spinning heel kick and a diving forearm from the second rope. Swagger responds with a pair of big shoulder tackles. Swagger then powers Christian up in a military press and throws Cage out of the ring in a nice spot. Very nice opening.

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Swagger gets a kitchen sink and a pair of waist lock tackle down, King compares this to an alligators death roll? Huh? Cage elbows his way out, Swagger blocks Christian's boot move in the corner and then stomps Cage down hard for a two count. Swagger then locks on a bear hug, Swagger holds Cage in position for a near fall, they work the bear hug for a while. Swagger goes for a military press but Christian slips out Swagger immediately counters with a nice bit of wrestling into a gut buster before reapplying the waistlock, the crowd come to life as Christian makes it to his feet. Swagger misses a blind charge and Cage hits his double boot move, Cage runs straight into a kitchen sink but Cage gets his knees up to counter the Vader Bomb.

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Cage does some bad over acting and then hits a bitch slap and a flying forearm. Swagger shoves Cage off a tornado DDT and Cage comes off the second rope with a sunset flip for a near fall. Swagger gets an ammatuer wrestling powerslam. Cage blocks the gut wrench and holds onto the leg. Swagger carries Cage into the corner but Cage fights him off and hits the tornado DDT for a near fall. Swagger pops up and hits a one arm side belly to belly suplex. Cage counters a fireman's carry with an arm drag and Swagger goes to the outside. Swagger pops onto the apron and goes for a German suplex but Cage blocks and flips Swagger into the ring. Very Flat section.

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Swagger catches Cage on the top rope and hits a back body drop and follows it with a Vader Bomb for a near fall. Swagger counters the kill switch, Cage counters the Oklahoma Stampede and gets a sloppy jacknife pin for a near fall. Swagger responds by hitting the Oklahmoa Stampede. Both men remove turnbuckles the referee catches Swagger, so Swagger charges Cage and hits the turnbuckle as Cage side steps and then Cage hits the Kill Switch for the 1-2-3.

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Christian is celebrating with Evan Bourne and Tommy Dreamer when he sees Edge. Edge acts awesome and cocky, Christian wants to know why Edge isn't fun, Edge says John Cena is the reasons why he's no fun. Good exchange between the two but it didn't feel like a first meeting.

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Jericho hides in the ropes to start the match. Steamboat gets a waistlock takedown and Jericho scrambles to the ropes. They exchange shoves and Steamboat slides under Jericho and out of the ring. Jericho is angry and goes for a baseball slide but Ricky side steps and Ricky hits a baseball slide and a plancha. Back in the ring, Ricky gets a polish hammer and a deep arm drag and Steamboat locks in an arm bar. The crowd chant "You still got it", Jericho gets a shoulder tackle and Jericho looks down a Steamboat with distain. Ricky gets an arm drag and a wrist lock, Jericho breaks the hold with two big forearms and Ricky responds with a stiff chop and a shoudler tackle. Jericho tries to toss Ricky but the Dragon skins the cat and Jericho closelines Ricky over the top rope straight away. Good start.

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Jericho hits his second rope dropkick to the apron and then plays to the crowd to huge heat. Jericho hits a back suplex, Jericho tells Steamboat he's washed up and gets a snapmar and a half nelson chinlock. The crowd chant "lets go Steamboat". Ricky fights out and gets an arm drag but Jericho immediately responds with a closeline and he goes back to the chinlock. Ricky tries to fight out but Jericho won't let go of the hold, Steamboat hits a back suplex but Jericho still won't release the hold, Jericho shouts "Your finished" as he holds on. Jericho goes for the bulldog but Ricky runs Jericho into the corner and Jericho lands on the top rope.

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Ricky gets a kick to the gut and they battle on the top rope and hits a super back suplex and both men are down. Ricky crawls over and makes the cover for a near fall. Ricky unloads and hits a series of karate chops and then the gut punch and back fist combo. Jericho charges into a snap powerslam for a near fall. Ricky hits another hard chop but Jericho responds with a running enzenguri for another near fall. Jericho hits the running bulldog to a round of boos. Steamboat counters the Lion Sault with an electric chair but Jericho gets a victory roll into the Walls of Jericho. Ricky breaks it with a karate chop and very sloppily counters into a figure four.

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Jericho charges Steamboat on the apron but Ricky back body drops him into the ring. Steamboat goes up top, Jericho charges and Steamboat dodges and Jericho hits the ring post. Steamboat goes back up top and scores with the flying cross body for a nearfall. Steamboat comes off the second rope but the chop is countered with the Code Breaker for a 1...2...foot ont he rope. Steamboat counters a suplex with an inside craddle for a veyr near fall. Jericho then gets the double leg trip and he slaps on the Walls of Jericho and Steamboat is forced to tap out.

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Punk gets a kick to the ribs as Kane attempts to cover up. Punk dodges a closeline and hits another high kick. Kane manages to catch Punk in the corner and unloads with a knee to the gut and an uppercut. Kane runs straight into a pair of boots and Punk locks Kane in an arm bar over the top rope in a nice spot. Punk comes off top with a strike and he unloads with some more strikes and a dropkick sends Kane to the outside. Punk goes for a Plancha but Kane catches him by the throat and goes for a chokeslam but Punk gets his feet on the apron and hits a series of stiff kicks and a flying closeline. That was a really creative modern style openening.

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We get some awkward wrestling and Kane throws Punk and he slides along the mat and Kane dropkicks Punk hitting his back hard agains the turn buckle for a near fall. Kane then goes to the body scissors rest hold than normal but still it was only a matter of time. Kane gets some headbutts to the back of the head. Punk manages to fight out but runs in to a brutal closeline for a two count. Kane goes to the back breaker submission classic big man offence. Punk fights his way out but Kane kicks Punk in the arse. Kane goes for a chokeslam but Punk counters with a single arm DDT.

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Punk unloads with a pair of stiff kicks, Punk gets the arm scissors and head lock in the ropes and follows it up with a springboard closeline to the back. Kane responds with a big boot and goes up top. Punk charges and catches Kane with a enzenguri. Kane avoids the G2S and Punk hits the knee lift and bulldog combination. Punk goes for a springboard move but he's met with an uppercut for a near fall. Kane goes for a tilt-a-whirl but Punk counters with a arm bar takedown into a painkiller. Kane powers up and hits a side walk slam before signalling for the chokeslam. Punk fights it off with a monster kick and spinning back fist combo, Punk goes for another big kick but Kane taps his boot and hits a chokeslam for the 1-2-3.

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Jeff meekily slugs down Matt in the corner before hitting a big right hand and a low blow leg drop, Matt bails to the outside and Jeff follows right up with a plancha. Jeff whips Matt into the barracade and Jeff hits a poetry in motion off the ring steps. Jeff hits a pair of closelines in the corner and then his corner dropkick spot. Jeff body language is just terrible he really looks disinterested. Jeff drops a pair of leg drops on Matt and then comes off the second rope with a leg drop. The referee asks Matt but he says no. Jeff Hardy slaps on a sleeper hold but Matt counters by running Jeff into the top turnbuckle. This is the least intense I quit match ever. Matt hits an elbow drop, Jeff tries the Whisper in the Wind but Matt shoves Jeff off the top rope to the outside. Jeff says he won't quit.

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Matt crotches Jeff on the ringpost and works over his leg on the ringpost, Matt then applies the worst ringpost figure four in history. Matt then hits a chop block and then applies a figure four. The referee asks Jeff if he quits but he tells the referee to forget it. Matt releases the hold and kicks out Jeff's legs before reapplying the figure four. Jeff turns the hold over but Matt won't quit either. Matt then applies a single leg quit but Jeff won't quit. Matt release the hold and screams at Jeff to quit. Matt hangs Jeff in the tree of woe and pulls back on his chin from outside the ring but Jeff still won't quit. Jeff fights off Matt adn then hits the Whisper in the Wind.

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Jeff slugs down Matt and hits his mule kick move before applying a texas cloverleaf Matt won't quit so Jeff releases the hold. They totally blow a Twist of Fate spot and Jeff covers up with a leg drop and Jeff hits a Twist of Fate and the Swanton Bomb but Matt still won't quit. Jeff looks frustrated and goes up top and hits another Swanton Bomb but Matt still won't quit. Jeff gets a table, slowly. Jeff sets up the table in the corner and Matt rolls outside the ring. Matt goes for a Twist of Fate but Jeff spins out and hits Matt with the twist of fate on the outside.

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Jeff lays Matt on the table and gets masking tape and some ropes. Jeff ties up Matt's feet and hands and then ties him up with rope on the table. Jeff then gets a ladder and looks to go for the leapfrog move. Matt says "Jeff we're brothers, that's the strongest bond in the world, don't listen to them they always get you into trouble" he talks about the dead mum "Daddy won't like you if you did this", Matt then shouts "I quit" and Jeff jumps through the table anyway.

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Its Kiss Cam time, I'll run through this as quickly as possible, Santina claims she has a lover....Jim Ross (they damn sure didn't tell J.R. about this ahead of time) before things get too awkward Beth Pheonix comes out and gets in Santina and Khali's face and challenges Santina to a match. Khali bonks Beth on the head like a caveman and Santina gets the pin. Khali then removes Santina's bra and Santina runs away screaming. This is just terrible, it makes no sense, its not funny, its mean spirited to J.R., and is poorly though out and makes everyone looks like idiots. The only remdeeming feature was J.R. owning Cole on commentary and turning around Cole's coming out of the closet comment back on Cole.

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A wild brawl erupts, Rhodes and Dibiase leave Orton alone and Triple H chases Randy Orton to the back, Triple H returns but Orton doesn't leaving Rhodes and Dibiase to fend for themselves. Batista brings Cody into the ring the hard way and he gives Cody some hard shoulder tacles in the corner before hitting a snapmare and a basement big boot. Batista holds Cody in a back breaker and Shane hits a second rope elbow drop before tagging Triple H in who stomps a mud hole in Cody Rhodes. Triple H gives Cody a hard Irish whip and a stiff kick to the chest. Triple H tells Cody to suck it but Cody responds with a stiff kick. Ted tags in but he's met with a stiff closeline. Triple H and Shane get a tandem closeline spinebuster combination. Batista tags in and lays some boots in before hitting a lovely hanging Vertical suplex.

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Cody Rhodes gets a sneaky eye rake and Ted tags in and lays in some hard stomps in on Batista. Cody tags in and he pounds away in the corner with a series of stomps. Batista explodes with a double flying shoulder tackle and he closelines Cody over the top rope. Batista hits Ted with a big spine buster and Batista shakes the ropes before going for the Batista bomb but Ted sees it coming and scrambles to the outside. Orton runs out from the back and introduces Batista to the steel ringpost and lays in a series of boots in the corner.

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Orton tags in Rhodes and they give Batista triple team beat down in the corner. Randy Orton then gives Batista the hanging DDT for a near fall, Orton has really brought the crowd into this match. Orton then hits his Sternum stomps on Batista and cockily walks over Batista's chest. Ted tags in as Batista manages to knock Orton and Cody off the ropes but Ted gets a drop toe hold and a side headlock to ground Batista, that does work over too well as Batista breaks it with a big back suplex. Batista goes for a tag but Orton breaks it up at the last moment and stands over Batista. Orton then hits a combination of knee drops before going the the Randy Orton main event chinlock of doom. Batista explodes with a flying headbutt.

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HOT TAG! Shane unloads with his Shane-o-Mac combo and a neckbreaker on Ted gets a near fall. Shane spears Ted on the outside and gives Cody the jaw jacker, this is completely ridiculous Super Shane stuff. Shane scores with the flying elbow drop off top for a near fall. Orton pulls Shane out of the ring and whips Shane knee first over the steel steps. Orton tags in and the suplexes Shane back into the ring for a two count. Ted tags in and works Shane over, Cody tags in and he pounds away at Shane. Orton tags back in and works over Shane before hitting a nice standing dropkick. Ted tags in and drops three elbow drops before getting a two count. Ted applies a chinlock, Shane tries to fight out but Ted manages to counter a hip toss with a rolling arm drag. Cody tags in and he applies a front face lock. He holds this on for quite awhile, this whole section has dragged on for an age. The front face lock appears to absorbed about two minutes. Shane gets a back body drop and drops to his knees but Ted tags in and hits some of his father's fist drops to avoid the tag. Ted goes for the Million Dollar Dream but Shane hits a DDT and both men are down.

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HOT TAG! Triple H unloads on Orton with a flurry of huge rights, Triple H scores with a big closeline and the facebuster. Cody and Ted charge but Triple H tosses them like bitches. Tripper runs into a boot but responds with a big spinebuseter. On the outside Rhodes gives Batista drop toe hold into the barracade. Cody breaks up a Pedigree and gives Tripper a DDT. Shane closelines Cody over the top rope and then over the barracade. The referee is in the ring counting and Cody hits Shane with a steel chair, Cody them hits Batista with a chair. Batista gets the chair from Cody, Triple H shoves Orton off the RKO and goes for the Pedigree but see Batista with the chair and takes it away. Orton suprises Triple H with the RKO for a 1...2...kick out, the time keeper rings the bell by mistake as Orton kills Triple H with the Punt of DOOM for the 1...2...3.

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After the match Triple H does a stretcher job they give it the hard sell and a long focus. The crowd sing the goodbye song summing up the general apathy towards Triple H right now.

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They lock up to start and power each other around the ring. Edge misses a wild swing but shoves Cena off a bulldog and goes to the outside. Cena chases Edge around the outside and back into the ring. Edge charges and goes for a spear but Cean leapfrogs Edge leading to a stand off, that was a nice sequence. Edge hits a shoulder tackle but can't avoid a hard Irish whip and a release fisherman's suplex but Edge manages to float over Cena and hit the Edge-o-Matic. Edge hits a hard closeline as the crowd trade chants, Edge follows up with two more closelines and pounds away at Cena from a mount. Edge tells the referee to count but Cena answers the count at six. Edge hits a spinning heel kick and Edge asks for another count which Cena answers at five. The crowd are trading chants once again as Edge hits a flapjack and slaps on a Sleeper hold. Edge looks demented as Cena fades. Cena tries to fight out but Edge jumps on his back, Cena breaks the hold in the corner but Edge immediately reapplies the hold and Cena fades and drops down. Edge releases the hold and tells the referee to count, the crowd chant "let's go Cena" as Cena struggles to his feet at seven.

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Cena dodges a closeline and hits the two flying shoulder tackles and the Protoplex but when he goes for the five knuckle shuffle Edge kicks Cena in the head hard and applies the sharpshooter right in the corner. Edge cranks away at the hold before releasing the lock and telling the referee to count. Cene gets to his feet at five but Edge immediately knocks Cena off the apron into the announce table ribs first. The referee starts another chant and Edge does some great facial acting as Cena makes it to his feet. Edge lays Cena in the steps and goes for a spear but Cena dives out the way and Edge goes head first into the steel steps. Edge answers the count at six.

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Edge whips Cena into the other set of steel steps and Cena answer the count at seven. Cena immediately Irish whips Edge into the other set of steel steps and Edge answers the count at eight. Cena then does a very silly looking and double botched lifting of the steel steps into the ring. When Cena finally gets into the ring Edge is waiting for him with the running big boot. Edge then smashes Cena with the steps in the corner and then dropkicks the steps into a prone Cena leaving a mark on Cena's shoulder. Cena answers a count at six and Edge charges only to be back body dropped to the outside. Then in a really nice spot Cena throws the steel steps over the top rope hitting Edge, Edge just manages to crawl to his feet at the eight count.

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They return to the ring and have the boo-yeah slugfest that ends with both men knocking each other over. Both men beat the count, Edge counters the Attitude Adjuster but Cena goes for it again Edge tries to counter with the Edge-o-Matic but Cena powers out and goes for the Attitude Adjuster but Edge finally counters scoring with the reverse DDT. Edge mocks Cena and goes for the Five Knuckle Shuffle but Cena counters with the STF and Edge starts tapping like a mad man, Cena lets go but Edge answers the count at seven. Edge escapes the Attitude Adjuster again and this time he hits the big spear and both men are down. Edge is up at six and Cena is up at eight. The crowd trade some more chants. Cena catches Edge on the top rope and scores with a super Attitude Adjuster in a nice spot and both men are down. Cena makes it up at five and Edge is looking in bad shape but gets to his feet at nine and then immediately falls over.

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Cena goes for the top rope leg drop but Edge immediately counters with the spear and the referee starts the count again. Cena makes it to his feet at eight but immediately falls out of the ring. Edge readies the announce table and rolls Cena onto the table. Edge goes for a DDT but Cena pops up and gives Edge an attitude adjuster into the front row in a great visual. The referee begins the count in the front row and the count reaches nine as Edge staggers to his feet. Edge tries to run away and runs up and around the arena. They re-emerge near the stage and Cena bulldogs Edge off the steps onto a big equipment box in a nice little spot and the referee begins the count. Edge manages to rolls off the box at seven.

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Edge hits Cena with a hard hat and goes up onto the stage. Edge gives Cena an implant DDT on the stage but Cena makes it to his feet at nine. Edge goes back stage and grabs a chair and whacks Cena in the back and then hits a con-chair-to on the stage but Cena after lying unconscious manages to power up and answer the count at nine. Edge charges but Cena counters and goes for the Attitude adjuster but Big Show comes out from backstage and chokeslams Cena through a spot light that in a very silly spot explodes and that keeps Cena down for the ten count and Edge is your new World Heavyweight Champion.

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John Cena like Triple H is given the stretcher treatment post match as Edge celebrates on the stage.