Daveportivo's Cultural Evaluation Facility

Guest Columnist Oliver Brooks will take you through the extremely simple and straightforward world of Bonekickers, Doctor Who and ever so intriguing life, do read on.

BONEKICKERS Episode 3

A slow start to the episode today once again, the episode seemed to be set in the south west this time it was baths turn to experience the bonekickers effect, the episode starts off with an earthquake in bath leading to a fracture to some underground caves in the roman baths, the team begin to investigate in which they find celtic coins and the bottom of a jaw bone something which they fail to explain who it was just another body, If they were trying to link it to the roman soldier who died right at the end they failed to explain how his body made it up all the way the cave through the roman ‘grenade’ minefield to the spot where they found it. Back to the plot the grumpy old bloke (Professor Gregory "Dolly" Parton) and the young student (Vivian "Viv" Davis) went back to do DNA test on the jaw that i mentioned earlier leaving the other two characters Dr Gillian Magwilde and Dr Ben Ergha stay in the cave for which they get trapped and gas looking to get them they run through the caves trying to avoid the gas they find roman fire grenades which were tested out on the celtic people, we later find out that Boudicca was captured and held prisoner turned out she lived in the cave for a time and died there when she committed suicide after the roman solider later her lover (another roman) found her having committed suicide killed the roman soldier who scared her, but how would magwithc and the other one escape from the caves they were trapped in with fire erupting from watery rocks ( God knows how ) well ‘dolly’ decided to run and found a trap door with young single student the same time the other two did and broke open a secret exit the same time the fire brigade were trying to rescue them ( how pissed would they be once they got through). The final twist roman lover was so depressed he was responsible for rome burning down under nero. Oh and there was a romance reminder between magwitch and other bloke and the ominous sword symbol was seen some more times

If this doesn’t make sense to you it makes even less sense in my mind.

Serious Score 3/10
Comedy Value 8/10

Oliver Brooks will present total Bonekickers coverage.