Daveportivo's Cultural Evaluation Facility

TNA returns to it's trusted formula of opening the show with a spotfest, and this one was just as interchangeable and forgettable as all the others. There was no attempt to tell a story and there was absolutely no drama, it was just a collection of moves, some we're better than others, and some we're pretty darn exciting, but it ultimately added up to a forgettable hit and miss match where no one got over, and nothing seemed memorable. (**1/4)

Good solid Knockout's title match, this feud has been built well and the match was satisfying if mediocre. Daffney makes for a great heel but she's no great shakes in the ring, Tara is a good transitional champion until TNA gets fully behind Angelina Love. The knockout's division remains well booked but with the loss of Kim and Kong it's sorely lacking in work rate. (*3/4)

Why is Rob Terry being pushed this isn't 1986? Terry offers nothing of interest, Magnus still has potential and will be able to rebuild himself on the microphone. God I hope Rob Terry isn't the first monster to be fed to Hogan, oh sorry, I mean Abyss. (n/a)

Spotfest number two, this was far smoother and more innovative than the ladder match, but this match was vastly more contrived and felt over choreographed on several occasions. Nonetheless the spots were very cool and very smoothly executed even if at times the match did feel pointless and more like a gymnastic meet than a wrestling match. It's a shame, I know the MCMGs can tell a story in the ring and bring the flashy spots, I would love to see these two have a traditional twenty minute tag match, I guarantee it'd be more epic and mind blowing than this goofy cringe inducing spotfest. Also it would really help if Taz didn't laugh at genuinely dangerous spots. (**3/4)

Well the most predictable finish of the night. This whole storyline has been an uninteresting mess, so it's no surprise that the blow off match ended with a disorganised and largely irrelevant mess. Most depressingly no one was over in this match, Young was booed, Waltman was booed, and Hall was jeered. Over the last year Nash had done a good job of getting himself over and making himself relevant once more, however this programme has returned him to cringe inducing relic status. The match itself was embarrassing enough but the post match was just horrid. Waltman looking into the camera and saying "where the fuck is it" and "why the fuck you gotta hide it" when looking for the spray can summed up just how much of a mess this program and TNA is in general. Hall has no business being in a wrestling ring at this point. (n/a)

So on a PPV where TNA said they'd showcase the X Division they give us two interchangeable spotfests and a Shannon Moore vs. Doug Williams title match, seriously? This is no knock on Doug Williams he's a talented wrestler but he certainly doesn't fit into the X Division aesthetic that TNA have attempted to cultivate. To make matters worse Williams has been booked into oblivion including a thirty second loss to Rob Terry. Moore is still a nobody, a passable wrestler, with friends in all the right places, he peaked in 3 Count and has shown no signs of catching on or improving as an act. The result as a forgettable match between two workers who do not compliment each other stylistically. Doug Williams post match promo was the only saving grace. Remember when this Division was relevant and Samoa Joe was the hottest act in wrestling? Don't worry most people don't either. (3/4*)

Another booking quagmire, so your turning Matt Morgan heel, and you've just turned Beer Money heel too (just barely, you might not have noticed), so you decided to book two poorly defined heel acts against one another. Morgan's heel act almost made Beer Money faces by proxy. It's good that they're breaking up Hernandez and Morgan as they were a horrible combination in the first place (two power guys who don't sell..ugh..it's not the eighties, there not the Road Warriors) but you have to ask why they were teamed together in the first place. The match itself was as convoluted and awkward as the booking itself. Thankfully Morgan is a natural heel and once this whole situation is resolved Morgan and Beer Money both have key roles to play if they can escape from booking purgatory. The match itself was rudimentary, confused and clunky. (*)

This was a fine albeit disappointing PPV encounter. Anderson is a great character but a basic and largely pedestrian wrestler and the solid fundamental wrestling story they told would have been fine were this a first encounter or a storyline based around one upsmanship. The problem is the whole Angle-Anderson programme has been a blood feud, based around disrespect and brutal beat downs. Both men wanted to destroy each other, and they wrestled a match where neither man looked like they were trying to hurt the other. There was no intensity, it's as if they were being scored by judges. To make matters worse Ken Anderson didn't care that he lost the match and made this clear with his post match interview immediately defining down wrestling matches and PPV matches unimportant. This felt like an elongated house show match with an overblown finish. Passable but way below expectations. (**) (looks like Kurt he's back on the roids and/or HGH)

AJ is a terrible fit for the Nature Boy gimmick and this match was the definitive proof. He just doesn't work in this role, it's not his fault, he's simply miscast. Other than being a great wrestler he and flair have little in common, Desmond Wolfe and Beer Money would have been far better choices to follow Flair's lead. AJ looked awkward during the entire match and it really hurt the crowd heat, Abyss is equally struggling against a bad gimmick and two years worth of bad booking. The match itself was good in patches, with some nice sequences and a few memorable moments but it was all undone by a mind numbing conclusion.

Now if you didn't know, the finish involve Flair spraying perfume in the Referee's eyes blinding him, AJ low blowing Abyss and hitting him with the title belt. Then Hogan's music hits and Hogan brings Earl Hebner to the ring and wheels out Chelsea and Flair. AJ then hits a springboard 450 splash and Abyss hulks up, after the regular routine (God Abyss makes you appreciate how good Hogan was at this) Abyss then chokeslams AJ through ring creating a gigantic hole with AJ's legs sticking out and Hogan gives Abyss the title belt, but Earl Hebner takes it away as Flair wheels himself (he's in a wheel chair) down to ringside. Hebner falls over, Abyss falls over, Flair falls over. Hogan sprays perfume in Flair's eyes and Chelsea runs away scared. Desmond Wolfe runs in and is pin balled around the ring before the perfume is sprayed in his eyes and he falls in the hole in the centre of the ring, as does Flair. End of show.

As you've probably gather this was one of the most cringe inducing, mind boggling and plain terrible endings to a PPV in wrestling history. The good work by AJ and Abyss was washed away by a host of cartoon show crap. This company deserves to go out of business. (**)