Daveportivo's Cultural Evaluation Facility

Music, Politics, Flim, Books and TV all shall be reviewed within.

So I was going to review the new Mariah Carey single, mostly because I was getting tired of positive reviews and fancied a rant, but then today NME.com informs me that Eminem has made a relitation track on his website so I couldn't help but review these two tracks.


Obsession - Mariah Carey

So at first I was preparing to rip on this song for being a horrendous look at me, aren't I wonderful, everyone loves me, I'm a superstar, nay I'm a god, self centred, buried up her own arse Mariah Carey track. Then I found out that the Obssesion refered to Eminem. Apparently Em dissed her husband Nick Cannon, so they filmed this video with a stalker whose supposed to be Em. Carey and Cannon have denied this and claimed the song is referencing the movie mean girls. You know what? I don't give two shits. It's still another horrible wailing, bland, boring slice of festering crap. I won't even call it pop, because pop is actually good these days, it's a derogatory term no longer. Instead this is just horrid wailing. It sounds like every other awful Mariah Carey song of recent years. It's a shame when she was making inoffensive party jams a few years back that was perfectly fine forgettable pop. However she's reverted to type and continues to put out these utter dirges, telling us how great she is, how every man on earth wants to have sex with her, how she's some kind of goddess. It's so enfuriating, the reason we shower praise upon Girls Aloud, Sugababes and Lily Allen, is because their down to earth, their real women, they'd don't carry them selves as above everyone else, and most importantly in Lily's case they actually have something to say. As for Girls Aloud and Sugababes they are unpretentious and stick to making good pop music to dance to, to have fun, nothing more nothing less. Obsession is the worst incarnation of pop music, it's a dreadful, shallow, selfish, peice of nothingness, I had hoped we'd left this garbage in the ninities, but alas Mariah Carey just won't die (in career terms).



The Warning - Eminem

So after the regrettable Relapse we finally get the angry rage filled Eminem back. Now while I couldn't give two shits about celebrity romance or break ups or whatever, if it gets Em back to form, then what the hell I'll go with the flow. While we still get the petty and pathetic insults, i.e calling Nick Cannon a "faggot". Despite the pettiness the track is thrilling, Em declaring "I've Got Enough Dirt On You To Murder You", ouch, now that's the Eminem I remember. He makes jokes about prematurally ejactualating on Mariah's belly. The highlight of the track comes when Em digs up some vocal recordings of Mariah and mixes them in with his rap;

Em:I Love You,
MC:I Love You Too,
Em:Let Me Whisper Sweet Nothing Into Your Ear Boo,
MC:It's Nothing,
Em:So What I'll Do Is Refresh Your Memory When You Said,
MCI Want You,
Em:Now Should I Keep Going Your Should We Call Truce,
MC:You Think Your Cute Right,
Em:You Bet Your Arse I Do,
MC:I'm Mary Poppins B,
Em:And I'm Superman,
MC:Mary P Slim Shady,
Coming At You,
Em:So If You Still Be My
Mc:Baby Girl
Em:I'll Be Still be Your
Mc:Superhero Oh My Em,
Em:Yeah I'm Right Here,
Mc:You Like This,
Em:No, Not Anymore Dear,
It Cuts Like A
Mc:Knife,
Em:When I Say Get A
Mc:Life,
Em: But I'm Moving On With Mine, Nick Is That Your
Mc:Wife,

Even though I find the subject matter petty and pathetic I have to say listening to the track is exhilerating, it's the old ballsy in your face Em, even telling Cannon "You think I'm Affraid of you". While I don't want an album of celebrity bashing and disses, if this is an indication that Em is putting the silly voice away and getting back to rapping, I'm all in favour. As a track, it's okay, it's elevated by the intrigue factor but after the listening to Obssesion it's a relief to listen to The Warning. Ultimately there both shallow and pathetic, and one has to ask; why can't celebrities just get along.





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This is your one stop shop of pop culture reviews I most specialize in Music, Politics & Film. I occasionally delve into TV reviews. I've got a Politics MA and a War Studies BA, I'm taking a year out before starting a Phd so when it comes to History and Politics I'm pretty well versed but I tend to keep this blog fun rather than serious.

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